Talk about an all-inclusive commodity -- Epson's Artisan 810 prints, copies, scans, faxes, has wireless capability, charges cellphones and MP3 players -- this baby has everything in it but an all you can eat buffet and spa services. But look at the bright side, short of proffering savory comestibles, the 810's ability to kick out Ultra Hi-Definition prints will still have your salivary glands working overtime if you happen to be printing, say, a pastrami sandwich. Make mine with melted swiss and sauerkraut.

The standard issue all-in-one is supposed to be more handy than it is performance-oriented, sacrificing image quality for convenience and space-saving. Home office users and small businesses are the general target audience for that breed of workaday machine. Contrarily, the Epson 810 aims to provide high-end, creative types the ability to realize a variety of laser-sharp objets d'art. Not that it wouldn't multi-task more than adequately in a business setting! To boot, the 810 also has automatic double-sided printing if you like saving trees while you toil away. It's good to be green, no?

As I happen to traffic in the dark alleys of the music business for my creative jollies, the 810's ability to print crisp images onto a CD appeals to me particularly, and works flawlessly. You can use Epson's included Print CD software, or import an existing JPG into the Epson realm, then print it directly to disc. Serious photographers will be equally giddy. The degree of control, speed and level of image quality is astounding. All that and a USB port to charge your straggling peripherals and you've got more than an all-in-one, you've got an all-in-one that's all-that (and considerably more).

A capacious touchscreen means ergonomic ease without squinting at the small print, and the operating instructions are instinctual enough that a digital moron (like myself) can absorb them without burning a calorie, ziss is the coup de grace -- that and the quite reasonable price for such a smorgasbord of top chef features. Under two hundred clams, $2.50 for extra cheese. Ordering!!

When is an airline not just an airline? When it consistently puts a lust for profit squarely behind customer service, fair pricing and a human touch. Enter Southwest Airlines, since 1971 a leader in customer satisfaction surveys and a business success story all at the same time. What's wrong with this picture? Nada, as we say in California. Nothing at all.

My most recent foray with the fine folks at SWA came after needing to change my departure to Tucson on rival US Air, then being told there'd be a $150 fee to do so, and an additional $700 bucks on top of that -- because the old fare had expired. "$850 dollars, one way to Arizona?" I bellowed to the reservations agent, "I could fly to Cairo for that price!" "Sorry, sir," she answered icily, "that's our policy."

Not only was I able to book immediate roundtrip passage on Southwest at a fraction of the price, there were no add-on fees for luggage, another good reason to choose them over their rapacious rivals. Their website also has a handy feature called the Low Fare Calendar tool, which shows the lowest price available for each day using a monthly calendar view. That saves you having to bounce from Travelocity to Expedia to Orbitz, etc.

All that and free peanuts and pretzels, wisecracking flight attendants and a sterling safety record. SWA has five hundred aircraft in their inventory (one of the youngest fleets in the industry) and flies over 100 million happy passengers annually. I am one of them. May they prosper.

As a writer for various national golf magazines, I have had the good fortune to play some of the country's most fabled courses, from Pebble Beach to Oakland Hills, Cypress Pointe to Riviera, and points beyond. I am admittedly spoiled. So imagine my amazement when someone told me that some of the nation's best golf was hidden away in Somis, California, somewhere in the rural hinterlands between Camarillo and Ventura. I'll believe it when I see it, I said snootily.

Well, hush my mouth. Saticoy Country Club turns out to be my favorite course in Southern California, hands down, and ranks among my top ten anywhere. People gush about LACC and Bel-Air and such, and those courses aren't to be disparaged, but dollar-for-dollar, a membership at the William F. Bell-designed Saticoy CC could be the best tee-to-green value in these here United States. Conditioning is always superb, the greens run like inmates during a prison break and the design itself is an exacting test of one's shotmaking abilities. It's tough as nails without being unfair. All this in an area better known for strawberries and avocados than for high-end golf action!

Always the best-kept secret among golf cognoscenti, under the stewardship of affable general manager Tom Szwedzinski, Saticoy has only gotten better. He is one of the most capable and experienced golf-brains on the West Coast, and serves his members with aplomb and a fine sense of humor (you need both in this sometimes high-pressure environment). Thus, everything from the food to the pro shop to course maintenance meet the highest standards. And the better news is they have openings for new members: I suggest you jump at the chance. Call (805)485-4956 and ask for the guy with the unpronounceable last name. Tom will be happy to fill you in.....

Victorinox, the company best known for the original multi-tasking app -- the Swiss Army Knife -- is also a, well, cutting edge presence in the kitchen. From high-end, forged sets to everyday tools like spatulas and pizza wheels, you can be assured of the same quality experience as the one you had shearing off your toes from the gator's jaw last summer in the Everglades with that handy red thingie. Happy days.

No such peril in your home kitchen, we shall hope, short of mishandling one of their fine-honed blades. I've been using the 8-piece block set with the company's Forschner logo, and have been sailing through thick cuts of meat (bones even), slicing razor-thin vegetable slices, even paring apples without breaking a sweat. They are finely balanced, boast black Fibrox handles and are made with a high-carbon stainless steel that maintains its fine edge until the bad-boys are ready to be resharpened.

Balance is a big thing, and these make the grade there as well. They are also molded in a highly ergonomic manner designed to reduce wrist tension over time, which is important if you bowl twice a week, like I do. There is, in descending size: a 10-inch slicing knife; 8-inch bread and chef's knife; a 6-inch boning knife and the 4-inch paring knife. And don't forget those snappy kitchen shears, great for turning a proud hen into edible bits and bites. All that and a solid hardwood block and a 10-inch sharpening steel. Price is modest, even in the giftable range. They may be Swiss knives, but neutral they ain't.

The man above is the Titan of the jazz alto saxophone, the cat who launched a thousand beatniks, the incomparable Charlie Parker -- I only wish I could have seen and heard his glorious fingers fly live! But the next best thing has arrived just in time for cold nights and a special spot under the redwood in the living room -- another quartet of lovingly produced DVD's that bring jazz immortals to the home flatscreen. The Masters of American Jazz series is the next best thing to a smoke-filled room on 52nd St. in the 1940s.

Aside from "Bird" Parker, this lastest batch of performances and interviews feature pianist Thelonious Monk, thrush Billie Holiday and "The Story of Jazz," a scholarly but vivid look back at America's most thrilling musical dialect. Respected jazz critic Gary Giddins directed the Parker DVD, and even interviewed Bird's first wife, Rebecca, her first and only testimony about the tortured genius she called her mate. Charlie left his mortal coil behind at thirty-five, but his blazing path is well-charted in this sumptuously produced and researched film.

As for Monk and Billie, they too are among the most august figures in the jazz pantheon -- like most great musicians, you could always identify their sound in the first measure of a song, such was the authority and individuality of their respective "voices." "The Many Faces of Billie Holiday" features a wealth of her live performances caught on film, plus interviews with the likes of Carmen McRae and Annie Ross, both of whom emulated her supple phrasing and skin-tingling emotion. Monk is also lovingly recalled by family and colleagues and rounding out a portrait of the enigmatic, and sometimes hatter-mad, keyboard and composing genius. There will never be another one like him.

Finally, for the novitiate and cognoscenti alike, "The Story of Jazz" presents the century-long evolution of the art form from its blues roots to New Orleans, from swing to bebop and beyond -- right up to the still-pulsing present. Dizzy Gillespie, Tony Bennett and Wynton Marsalis contribute incisive reflections, and rare film clips pepper the informative history. Buy one, buy all, you will sow happiness in your wake by giving the gift that keeps on swinging when the squares have gone beddy-bye!

There is only one acid-test for a great gaming notebook: Run it by my son, Nicholas, who has been flaying aliens with lasers since dinosaurs roamed the planet. The fact that he is monopolizing the new MSI GX630 is a very good sign that it looks, performs and sounds as good as it gets. Gamers are downright perturbable when it comes to graphics processing, but don't generally have the deep pockets to afford an ace system, which is why this entry from MSI is so attractive: at $799, it's affordable, portable and sacrifices little when it comes to performance.

The 630 has a bright, 15.4-inch, 1280 X 800 display, which does its job ably when it comes to sulfurous explosions or detailed natural settings. And the 2-megapixel webcam above the display delivers exceptionally good video quality during Web chats. Peripherals are no problem, with ports like HDMI, eSATA, three USB 2.0 jacks as well as Gigabit Ethernet and Firewire available along the perimeter of the notebook.

This six-pounder (without cheese) is fairly light for a gaming system, and includes a dual AMD 2.3-Ghz chipset and 4GB of RAM to give it some zip. And the GeForce 9600 GT graphics processor delivers great resolution. There is no Blu-Ray option at this price-point, and the battery life could certainly use improvement, but otherwise, dollar for dollar this is a winner. Unless you want to drop $3K-plus on an Alienware box, this should do the trick nicely for your favorite nephew this Xmas.

I may be a little late to this 21st Century Digital Orgy, but I am like a kid in a sody-shoppe with this amazing new box o' bytes: The Roku Netflix Player, a tiny rectangle of silicon swirls that turns a mere teevee set into an all-you-can-fathom smorgasbord of entertainment possibilities. Call me slack-jawed, dumbfounded or Jed Clampett -- I care little, this baby is a life-changer.

Here's the lowdown: for a mere hundred smackers or less, and a nine-buck a month subscription to Netflix, you done escaped the mind-numbing hegemony of dreck cable programming and infomercials and gabbing heads and all the rest. Instead, you open up a web-browser and scan the 17,000-plus entries at Netflix.com, make with a couple of mouse-clicks and presto, you're watching "Streetcar Named Desire" instead of Rachael Ray, the superior Ricky Gervais version of "The Office" instead of the insipid knockoff Yank version. I may never leave the bedroom again. Hold my calls, Virginia.

Even cooler, the tech spex of the Roku box are nonpareil: it seeks and easily finds your home wireless set-up, meaning no need for an ethernet cable; the set-up is easy even for the neuronally enfeebled (like myself); the picture is crisp and clean, especially if you use the HDMI output to your similarly enabled set. Ten minutes later, you start lining up your favorite selections -- they stream, you pause, rewind, fast forward, just like the glory days of the old VHS, but without boxes and tapes and all that mess. I've got half a mind to ditch the old satellite service, but what would I do without my dose of Bill O'Reilly to get my digestive juices churning? Roku gets my vote for Xmas gift of the season.

(p.s., Roku also shakes hands with Facebook and flickr and Pandora Radio to stream pictures and music through the former idiot-box -- which, one must confess, gets smarter every day!)

Ready for a breathless string of hyphens the likes of which no digital camera maker can lay claim to? The new Stylus Tough-8000 from Olympus is: Shock-proof; Water-proof; Freeze-proof and even Crush-proof. Specifically, you can go as deep as 33 feet underwater, shoot snowmen and polar bears down to 14 degrees Fahrenheit, drop the camera from 6.6 feet and even stomp on it (up to 220 lbs. of pressure) -- without hearing a squeak or a whimper.

You can feel the heft in your hand when you hold the 8000 -- this is not your niece's digital camera, more like your white-water rafting third cousin's, the daredevil. Capable of shooting at 12 megapixels, this latest in the Stylus line can make up for your shake and bake hobbies with dual image stabilization and a 3.6 optical zoom. Not only that, one has the ability to change settings and issue commands by tapping once or twice on the side or top of the camera -- very handy when you're wearing hockey or diving gloves, as I so often do.

Of course, it's not just ruggedness that makes this unit so useful, it's that it has all the elements of a great, everyday handheld camera -- a super-bright 2.7" HyperCrystal III LCD display, a zoom which takes you from a wide-angle 28mm to 102mm telephoto and face detection technology that insures your human subjects are in focus and perfectly exposed. There is also a boon to those of us too techno-challenged to make wise exposure choices -- the Intelligent Auto Mode that analyzes the image being photographed and uses one of five templates or "scene modes" to select the optimal settings. All that and an ultra-cool Platinum Silver housing that makes the 8000 look more like a lab instrument than a point and shoot. Truth is, you could probably bring down a grizzly with one swift camera-in-hand blow. That, my friends, is not in the manual, nor recommended.

The Digital World's virtues -- faster, smaller, more portable, etc. -- are also one's undoing if you happen to be a trifle absent-minded. I probably waste a cumulative hour a week searching my pockets for the cellphone, the digital camera or the iPod Touch. Pathetic, I know. Which is why I am so enamored of the new Eye-Fi Share Video wireless memory card, a Wi-Fi-enabled SD storage device for your digital camera that instantly uploads photos to your computer or even the website of your choice (Facebook, Flickr and such like). You needn't remove it from the camera, insert it somewhere else, nor click your mouse till your wrists need physical therapy.

It takes just minutes to configure the Eye-Fi with your home computer, at which time you can select which photo-sharing websites you'd like to upload to. The 4GB card holds up to 2,000 photos or ninety minutes of video, all for about $80 smackers, a swell value indeed. The card is compatible with hundreds of digital cameras, but check the website to make sure it works with yours. Eye-Fi also makes a 2GB version and a Pro card that transmits RAW images and streamlines the workflow when you're shooting those barely-clad models in Fiji.

Dutch company EKS is one of the venerable names in the DJ-Gear World, known for its innovative design and indestructible workmanship. Latest off their line is Otus, a software/MIDI controller that eliminates the need to carry around bulky dual-CD decks and a thousand pound pile of music. Download drivers, attach cables to laptop, configure the software (probably Traktor or Deckadance) -- and boom, you are ready to spin, chop, mash-up and beat-match to your heart's content. Not only that, you are going to look subzero cool doing it.

Touch sensitive controls and a smoothly solid illuminated 7.5" jog wheel provide most of the hands-on action, enabling one to scroll through vast amounts of music on your laptop without having to mouse around in a dark and cavernous club. You can even adjust the touch-sensitivity of the controller surface to make sure it's working ergonomically correct. And speaking of efficiency, the whole rig runs off your computer's USB bus, so there's no need for additional power cables.

As cool as it presents itself, the real goal is shoe-shattering dance-floor sounds, and Otus is well up to that task as well. Its Burr-Brown sound card delivers fat basses and shimmery high-frequency transients without distortion. The touch-sensitive platter dominates the surface and -- like other jog-wheels -- acts as a pitch bend when touched on the side and scratches when you touch the top. The pitch slider takes a bit of getting used to and the overall feel of the aluminum-sheathed unit is solid without being bulky.

In the end, you do have to be able to re-orient your thinking to get the most out of Otus, but once you've bowed down to its forward-looking grid, you can control two decks with the ease of steering an automobile, and with twice the MPG! This is technology at its best.