All Good Things

Otus Ready -- DJ Gear for the New Millennium

2009-11-02T15:18:56Z

Dutch company EKS is one of the venerable names in the DJ-Gear World, known for its innovative design and indestructible workmanship. Latest off their line is Otus, a software/MIDI controller that eliminates the need to carry around bulky dual-CD decks and a thousand pound pile of music. Download drivers, attach cables to laptop, configure the software (probably Traktor or Deckadance) -- and boom, you are ready to spin, chop, mash-up and beat-match to your heart's content. Not only that, you are going to look subzero cool doing it.

Touch sensitive controls and a smoothly solid illuminated 7.5" jog wheel provide most of the hands-on action, enabling one to scroll through vast amounts of music on your laptop without having to mouse around in a dark and cavernous club. You can even adjust the touch-sensitivity of the controller surface to make sure it's working ergonomically correct. And speaking of efficiency, the whole rig runs off your computer's USB bus, so there's no need for additional power cables.

As cool as it presents itself, the real goal is shoe-shattering dance-floor sounds, and Otus is well up to that task as well. Its Burr-Brown sound card delivers fat basses and shimmery high-frequency transients without distortion. The touch-sensitive platter dominates the surface and -- like other jog-wheels -- acts as a pitch bend when touched on the side and scratches when you touch the top. The pitch slider takes a bit of getting used to and the overall feel of the aluminum-sheathed unit is solid without being bulky.

In the end, you do have to be able to re-orient your thinking to get the most out of Otus, but once you've bowed down to its forward-looking grid, you can control two decks with the ease of steering an automobile, and with twice the MPG! This is technology at its best.

Belkin: Ahead of the Curve

2009-10-27T19:06:24Z

To quote Beavis (or was it Butthead?): "Belkin is, uhh, cool." With a quick eye on the ever-mutating tech-landscape, this Compton-based company is right on time when it comes to cyber-accessorizing. Best known perhaps for its line of iPod add-ons -- cases, cables and the like -- it also makes reliably-constructed hubs and cables, surge protectors and laptop cases, anything you can imagine. And at prices that beat the competition to a pulp. Nice formula...

Latest to hit the streets is Belkin's Easy Transfer Cable for Windows™7, a painless and ergonomic way to migrate all those pre-7 files and user accounts, program settings and email contacts, all in a sanitary 3-step process: Install software; connect cable; follow onscreen prompts. Sounds like something an old Luddite like myself could even handle.
And much faster than burning data to disks or setting up a network. It reportedly can transfer 7,500 songs in an hour via its USB 2.0 connection. Zoom!

Also on the ultrahep hardware beat, Belkin's Home Base is one of those miracle boxes that enables anyone on your network to wirelessly share printers, hard drives or other devices. Music, photos, videos -- even poached eggs on English muffins -- can be moved from parlor to office to entertainment center, all with a click of the mouse. Media files can be accessed directly from Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and other DLNA client devices. Share the Digi-Wealth!!

Bonjour: Laser Accurate Thermometer

2009-10-27T16:42:11Z

This, my friends and neighbors and ships at sea, is the only way to go when you're finicky about preparing meat -- whether in the kitchen or manning the barbecue. The Chef's Laser Probe Combo from Bonjour Products is the pro way to go, giving one instant temperature readings either externally or internally. Aim this beam of quantum energy at the surface of that tri-tip roast and get one temperature -- then swivel the little probe away from the hand-held marvel and insert into cooking sacred cow: Voila! You have a fussless, mussless, real-time read of what those beef molecules are up to.

Bakers will find this invaluable as well. Given the vagaries of oven thermostats, it's nice to be able to pre-heat and then check the accuracy of your instrument panel before sending that apple pie to its date with destiny. I use mine with that groovy outdoor pizza oven made by Forno Bravo to tell when it's time to slide those delicate little pies onto the stone floor for a brief spell.

This little sonofagun offers a pistol grip, laser target aim, instant readout and backlit display. All that and a range from -76 to 932 degrees Fahrenheit, powered by a mere couple of AA batteries. Will miracles never cease? Does Satan have one to make sure sinners are getting their just desserts? I'm putting that on my Xmas list for him....

The one and only Wiseman: King of Docs

2009-10-24T19:59:10Z

When I was a college film society junkie back in Ann Arbor many lunar phases ago, I discovered the incendiary work of of American documentarian Frederick Wiseman. Life never was the same after that. "High School" was a terrifying look at that adolescent prison system; "The Store," a close up and personal look backstage at the Dallas Neiman Marcus; and most breathtaking, "Welfare," shot in various east coast welfare offices and featuring a cast of Real People whose faces and voices I can still see in my mind's eye these many years later. He shoots so much footage, and is so unobtrusive, you wonder how he caught such naturalistic behavior.

Now comes his latest, La Danse (Le Ballet de L'Opera de Paris) which is going to arrive at our miraculous Laemmle chain on November 20th. Wiseman's 38th film caresses the lithe and well-limned bodies of dancers in rehearsal, impresarios schmoozing on the phone and stern taskmasters amending the performances of the young terpsichores. It is two-and-a-half hours but goes by in a quick pas de deux.

The delicious choreography of Rudolf Nureyev, Pina Bausch and Mats Ek is featured, offering a panoply of styles from traditional to modern. One of the executives of the ballet company is filmed negotiating access to rehearsals for their deep-pocketed American patrons, all of which we get for the mere price of a movie ticket. Don't miss it.

One Stop Kiddie Xmas Shop

2009-10-24T17:36:41Z

I admit to a measurable amount of immaturity in my decrepit old feller's body, and thus may hold on to a few of Jakks Pacific cooler toys for myself -- especially that pair of EyeClops Night Vision Infrared Stealth Binoculars pictured above. I have a black dog named Gwen who blends into the backyard after dusk and she turns up on these babies like she had a neon sign on her back! Wow. Neato. Coolio. You can see up to 50 feet away in complete darkness.

And for the budding scientist/entomologist in the family, the EyeClops Bionic Eye SE Microscope is also high-tech-at-a-low-price for the kiddies. I took this one over to my 6-year-old niece, and we oohed and aahed at gargantuan grains of salt, hair roots, blades of grass, even (heaven forbid) what I thought was my smooth, unblemished cheek. Almost needed a comfort bag after that experiment! Niece Alex loved it, giggly and wide-eyed till we were reluctantly called in to supper. Wah!! (Also, have a gander at the Discovery Kids Safari Scope -- great for the budding urban astronomer/voyeur!)

More girly stuff abounds at Jakks cornucopia of youngster delights: The Girl Gourmet Bakery Set, endorsed by no less than Duff Goldman of the Food Network's Ace of Cakes. Your little darling can design, decorate and microwave-bake custom cakes in 30 seconds. For, um, dessert (!) the little monsters can make edible jewelry with the Girl Gourmet Sprinkle Art Jewelry Set. Hmm, in my day, you tried to keep kids from swallowing their toys, and now? The young ladies will also dig the Sing Scene line, where they can warble to the hits of Rihanna and Taylor Swift for a fraction of the competitor's price tag.

Don't forget the little boy devils! And Jakk's line of Plug It in & Play TV Games are Wii-less, affordable alternatives to the high-end controllers. The Star Wars: Clone Wars game is some vivid alien-killing action with a 30th century piece of plastic hardware for aiming and shooting. I love educational toys. For you carnivores, train the lad to take out Bambi and Co. with the Big Buck Hunter, where you plug into the tv, aim your rifle and take down video bucks like it was "open season in your living room." That's a clever line from the Jakks Pacific website -- credit for sardonic irony to whom it is deserved. I surrender!!! Mucho mas goodies at the endless Jakks site!

Fleming's Better Six-Buck Burger

2009-10-08T15:40:51Z

This is the classic no-brainer: you don't even need a skull to figger this one out. Whether 'tis nobler to the stomach to waste your appetite on a Carl's Jr. souped-up junkfood burger or to go the extra mile to Fleming's Steakhouse around happy hour and pay six clams to go sirloin-with-love? The Woodland Hills location near my hovel is offering a "5 for $6 'til 7" promotion that can't be beaten with a sharp stick. The Prime Burger with cheese and bacon tastes as good as its photogenic likeness to your immediate right. Salivate at will....

Not only does ya get to attack that brioche-enclosed beefy goodness, but there are some decent vintages and cocktails available for the selfsame six dollars -- and yes, that's for the top-drawer hooch, Ketel and the like. To boot, there's some fine Sweet Chili Calamari, Cajun Barbecue Shrimp and some creditable Jumbo Lump Crab Cakes on the menu for the same low price. Bless their recession busting souls.

If you are fressing to impress, there are fabulous selections on the legit menu too, of course. Four-week aged, corn-fed prime beef is the rule at Fleming's, surrounded by stellar sides like chipotle cheddar mac & cheese and some killer onion rings served with a smoked jalapeño aioli. Look for me at the six-buck smorgasbord looking at your porterhouse with envy. Consider me not unhappy in the least.

Better Battery Brokers

2009-10-02T13:06:41Z

This may be a bit arcane -- it's not every day you might need batteries for your sump pump or your tennis ball shooting machine, but if you do, I've found a company that can power your world. Batteryspec.com is your one-stop shop for all things voltaic, veteran owned-and-operated and staffed with some of the friendliest folks outside of one of them hippie communes. One Michelle Evans handled my order for replacement batteries for my eGO electric cycle (a previous AGT entry), and couldn't have been more gracious, professional, even witty! We commend the folks in San Jose for their judicious eye when it comes to staff.

What are your power needs? Wheelchair batteries? Yep. Camcorder? Covered. Jet-Ski? Yesirree. Snowmobiles, medical, lawnmowers -- yes, yes, yes! What else? Great prices, incomparable customer support and lickity split delivery. 1-800-727-VOLT gets you to one of their ace Power Rangers. Batteryspec is a credit to flowing electrons everywhere! Power to the people.....

VTech Phones -- Hi-Style Bones

2009-09-21T19:06:20Z

Home phones, even the cordless variety, seem to be going the way of the horse and buggy, but the forward-looking r&d types at VTech seem to think otherwise. Their new LS6245 Dect Phone looks and behaves like a futuristic prop from "Minority Report," replete with a groovy, white-backlit keypad and a large reverse LCD. It would not look out of place next to James Bond's cocktail shaker or his laser toenail clipper.

Aside from its tall, dark and slender good looks, the 6245's DECT technology, more familiar to Europeans, offers crystal clear sound, expanded range and superior eavesdropping protection. You don't want just anyone learning your secret egg salad recipe, do you? To boot, this gun of a son has Bluetooth connectivity, meaning that -- coupled with your cellphone -- it obviates the need to locate the cell when you hear it ringing. Simply pick up the 'house-phone' and commence gabbing.

It's got more standard features covered as well: digital answering system, accessible from the handset; Dual caller ID and call waiting; and for the teenagers, a collection of polyphonic musical ringtones. My daughter Phoebe surreptitiously loaded some funky riffs on mine -- somehow I always think Rick James is calling when the phone rings. Super freaky, that. The touch sensitive pad is quite sensitive, so keep your hair trimmed! I have put people on hold with my curls inadvertently. But for that, $80 bucks buys you a very cool, expandable system.

Biltmore's La Bistecca: No Mistake-a!

2009-09-11T15:06:35Z

As all of our intercontinental (thanks, George W.) friends know, La Bistecca means steak in Italian, and the Biltmore Millennium has dibs on the name for their splendid beef-themed eatery in the dramatic Rendezvous Court downtown next to Pershing Square. Helmed by a pair of talented Italian chefs, both the setting and the menu scream elegance and rustic simplicity at the same time. Vaulted ceilings with copious and ornate chandeliers compete with the unfussy cuisine, adding up to an all-around aesthetic experience for the eye and palate.

The affable and articulate executive sous-chef, Orazio Parisi, explained that the menu owed its inspiration to Southern Italian and Sicilian roots, well exemplified by the luscious eggplant parmigiana that started the meal, as well as a toothsome selection of handcrafted salumi. Making it even harder to choose an appetizer, the Tagliolini with a lobster ragu "all'Amatriciana" was rich and delicately spiced, the lobster's sweetness nicely offset by tiny bites of salty guanciale (and I thought I was the only Wild Bore in the joint).

The steaks were nonpareil, cooked perfectly and with the right balance of firmness and fat (the 16-oz. ribeye was especially tasty). For the non-purists among you, the kitchen prepares a variety of condiments for the meat, including a divine Mascarpone-Horseradish Cream sauce. And the truffle parmesan fries are as sinfully delicious as they sound.

Confirmed Valleyites take note: a painless 20-minute subway ride from Universal City deposits you right at Pershing Square, a mere 60-second walk to the Biltmore, which is stuck in time in the most remarkable and admirable way. Nowhere else in Los Angeles has age been so kind to an historic structure, and rooms are both reasonable and as classic-looking and refined as they looked when the place went up in 1923. Some good things get even better by resisting the impulse to modernize. Make it a weekend -- steaks, symphony and sweet escape all in one.

Agfa Optima: Size is Nothing

2009-09-10T22:39:05Z

Don't get me wrong: I know small is beautiful, that good things come in small packages, etc., etc. But, truth is, the tiny black housing that holds Agfa's superb Optima 2338mT digital camera boggles the braincells -- how do you squeeze such crystalline photographic image-making into something that wouldn't hold enough Milk Duds to make it through two cartoons and a trailer? Twelve megapixels of light-gathering power in the palm of your hand -- what indeed, will they conjure up next? Optic nerve to USB direct image transfer system? Never say never....

Let's get away from all this, um, small talk for a minute. Amazingly, this pint-sized marvel also boasts a full 3" TFT LCD viewing screen on its wee backside, yet is still as bright and laser-sharp as you please. Not only that, it's a touch-screen, meaning you needn't always be scrolling and clicking to change parameters just when Junior's about to swing at the 3-2, bases-loaded fastball! There's even a face-tracking function that recognizes a human being faster than an FBI man, and, better yet, a smile detector that zeroes in on those happy pearly whites (I wonder if it obscures frowns?).

Other fab features abound: the video recording function can save your Citizen Kane moments and instantly format them for YouTube uploading and certain micro-posterity. The optical zoom checks in at 3X and the digital at 5X, the shutter ranges from a full second to a 2000th of a second and the image stabilization makes sure there's no blur at the slower exposures. There's also a built-in loudspeaker for the video clips, a burst function for snapping off ten quick clicks in a row and 24 different "Scene Modes" -- from Sport to Night Shooting. All that and the Serious Black Look that will set you apart from all the greenhorn point-and-shoot hordes for around three hundred clams, a see-food bargain you can't afford to pass up.

Lenovo a 10!

2009-09-09T17:42:25Z

No, it's not a new late night comedy show with a big-jawed goomba at the wheel, the IdeaCentre A600 is a snazzy all-in-one desktop loaded with bells, whistles and kazoos to boot. No, thank goodness, it doesn't do an opening monologue. It will, however, warn you if you get too close to the screen for safety. Yes, Hal, I will drink my Tang now, too....

If coolness and sleek lines were all that mattered, we at AGT would give this baby the Raymond Loewy Award straightaway. Easily mistaken for a compact, James Bondian flatscreen TV, the A600 features a 21.5" viewing area, comes with Vista Home Premium and a matched pair of 2GHz Intel processors. Four gigs of RAM insure mega-multi-tasking ability and zippy performance. The slot-loading optical drive is so seamlessly integrated you could almost overlook it at first. And the screen tilts 15 degrees forward and 5 back depending on personal preference.

The A600 signals a quantum leap forward for Lenovo, whose major impact heretofore has been among suit-and-tie types. This streamlined beauty is equally useful at home as at the sweatshop, and will satisfy gamers as well as HD-movie watchers with its crisp, 1920X1080 resolution. The high end units will also spin Blu-Ray discs. Adding to its Cool Quotient is the multi-function media remote/gyroscopic mouse/VOIP handset/game controller, layer-caking the all-in-oneness of this incomparable machine. Wireless keyboard, yes, wireless mouse, of course, looks great, sounds great -- what else could one ask for except two toaster slots and a loaf of bread?

Maytag 9000: A Clean Sweep

2009-08-11T17:23:35Z

Is it a bad thing to have a dinner party and find your guests huddled around your washer and dryer instead of eating the hors d'oeuvres you slaved over for hours?? Such was my bemoanable fate last weekend when the assembled urbanites espied the admittedly handsome Maytag 9000 adjacent to the kitchen. They oohed at the sleek 'oxide' finish, ahhed at the near silent operation (yes, I was forced to demo the modern marvel!), and left with their jaws agape in envy that evening, forgetting to compliment me on the beef bourguignon! Thanks, Maytag.....

Actually, I'm not as mad as I sound. The 9000 is the top of the line in Maytag's Performance Series and brings commercial-grade components (heavy duty springs, belts and hinges; beefed-up motors) into a home machine, assuring one years of carefree operation. The 4.4 cu. ft. basket accommodates a boatload of laundry, and the luxury of steam for cleaning power and sanitizing benefits. The controls are intuitive, and most functions are monitored by the machine itself -- sensor-controlled suds detection, timed release of detergent and Intellifill water level sensor. All you have to do is load and lock. Ah, the joys of intelligent design!

The dryer is no slouch either. It too is capable of producing steam on demand, and there's no reservoir to fill - it connects to the existing water-line. You can add steam to an entire load, or use the feature to sanitize small items you'd rather not wash -- like pillows and stuffed animals. Maytag's proprietary GentleBreeze Drying System employs a "diagonal airflow" to dry clothes just as quickly as it took to wash them. Both machines are Energy Star qualified, meaning you'll be using 70% less water and 70% less energy than conventional top-loaders. Green, lean and built to clean -- this is American technology at its finest. Next time I throw a party, however, I'm covering this fancy pair with a big sheet -- I do so hate being upstaged!

K2 Saves the World: Sustainable Skates

2009-07-22T02:33:17Z

It's an idea whose time had to be just around the corner, if not ten minutes ago: Inline skates for the Green Scene, those earth-firsters resolutely against PVC's and a big carbon 'skateprint.' Enter K2, already the last word in coolness and quality, and their new, sustainable Eco line of skates. Built for speed and performance, the company also took pains to use bamboo frames and PET (a resin made from water and recycled plastic beverage bottles) wherever possible -- which in this case means stitching, liner, mesh and even laces! That's skating the extra mile for a livable future....

Your conscience might be crystal clear buying these skates, but if they didn't function like K2's other wheels, all might be for naught. Fortunately, the Eco's are smooth rolling, absorb vibration quite well and even look ultra-sleek with that natural bamboo gracing the wheels. And believe it or not, bamboo's strength to weight ratio is without compare, beating aluminum to a pulp! The boot itself is cool and eminently breathable, and offers comfort as well as durability.

All that and a price point that will roll smoothly off your brain as well -- under $200! Men's or women's skates are available, both with 84mm wheels and ILQ-7 bearings. The components are top of the line, and nothing with eyes was teased, compromised or slaughtered to get you gliding down the boardwalk. Good speeds, good deeds, that's a lovely karmic combo, to be sure.

Alcohol Alchemy: BevWizard is for Real!

2009-07-21T22:38:37Z

I approached the demo table at a trade show recently with a healthy dose of skepticism: the BevWizard Wine Smoother could reputedly turn a glass of humble Two-Buck Chuck into a 1966 Chateau de Plateau by simply pouring the rotgut through the twist-on device. Inside its modest plastic shell, a high intensity magnetic field would "alter the structure of the tannins" to yield a softer and silkier "mouthfeel." Er, I don't know nuttin' 'bout tannins and magnets, but a before and after tasting, with and without the Smoother, was a Cheapskate Epiphany of the highest order! Hoodoo or science, this little badboy actually worked!

Next up was a hit of Jack Daniel's, which I have been known to occasionally imbibe with a healthy dose of Coke poured over it and a passel of ice cubes. The kindly booze doctor twisted on the Spirits Smoother and poured me a straight shot. Indeed it was smooth as a newborn baby's butt with a silky warm finish, and no sting! Off went the aerator/tannin blaster and another shot was poured. One sip of that and I literally looked for a place to discharge the foul concoction, like it was some corn whiskey brewed in a Tennessee outhouse!

This device, at around $30 bucks, could introduce a New Age of Alcoholism in this fine nation of ours. People who once eschewed the devil's drink will now hold out their cocktail glasses like supplicants, begging for a wee hit of No-Name, grocery store bourbon or K-Mart cognac. The Spirits Smoother works best with brown spirits, and the Wine Smoother young, tannic reds. Whatever your poison, the road to ruin just became a far less painful experience. Bottoms up, sinners!

Wii Golf? Mais Oui!

2009-07-21T17:10:15Z

Okay, I admit it, when it comes to games, I prefer the sweat and tumble of the 3-D experience to holding a joystick and simulating away. Very twentieth century, I know! Then along comes the Wii Motion Plus technology that actually uses your entire body as the controller, and allows for some truly interactive thrills and spills. For we of the heather and gorse, legendary golf instructor David Leadbetter's "My Personal Golf Trainer" is a cheap and painless way to get your swing analyzed without flying to Florida and dropping $5K on an intensive one-on-one clinic.

The beautiful thing about Leadbetter's entry into this crowded field is that it is both a game and a learning environment. Instructional videos and drills pound DL's "7 Steps to a Better Swing" basics into your head, then off you go to the practice range and eventually the full 18-hole experience -- trees, water hazards and all. Grip, posture, alignment, ball position, coil, swing shape and tempo -- everything you need to know to go from hacker to smacker without passing Go!

The Motion Plus controller actually records the full golf swing from address to follow-through, which you can then compare to an ideal swing to find the weak spots. The results can be viewed in 3-D, from different angles and slowed-down to molasses-vision for detailed analysis. Hats off to the big brains at Design Data Interactive and Professor Leadbetter -- this is no toy, it's a bona fide living room golf clinic in chewable bits and bytes. See you in the fairway.....