Star's gaseous matter causes implosion

Star Jones Reynolds, we hardly knew ye. But we wished we knew ye even less than we already do.

This must be the time of year for spectacularly bitter and/or embarrassing media flameouts. First, Connie Chung splayed herself out across a piano like a human sacrifice and then Dan Rather took a whiz on the news division that once hired Edward R. Murrow. And now, Star – whose outrageous it’s-all-about-me attitude makes Katie Couric seem like a veritable wallflower – interrupted a segment yesterday on ABC’s chick-chat show “The View� to announce something that was a surprise to precisely nobody: that she was leaving the show.

“This is a surprise that this would come about this way; we did not expect it,� stammered “View� den mother Barbara Walters, who then led the studio audience in a standing-O for Star.

Not so much love in the house today. “We didn’t expect her to make this statement yesterday,� Walters announced. “The truth is that Star has known for months that ABC did not want to renew her contract. … We wanted to protect Star. … We hoped she … would leave with dignity.� That not being the case, Walters concluded, “It is becoming uncomfortable for us to pretend that everything is the same around this table.� Go to “The View’s� website and it has been thoroughly scrubbed of any evidence Jones Reynolds ever existed.

My question: How was she even allowed to remain on the show after that debacle surrounding her nuptials? Star practically begged for free crap and wedding services on the show, offering bald plugs for the products in return (if the above link doesn’t hook you up immediately with an image of Star, scroll down a bit). If any other journalist – or any other whatever-it-was-Star-was-supposed-to-be – tried to pull a stunt like that, they would’ve been handed their hat (one that, in Star's instance, was probably given her free) immediately.