October 2006 Archives

Just heard at the top of the KCBS-TV news, longtime (loooonnnnng time) "The Price Is Right" host Bob Barker is retiring after who can remember how many decades giving away cars, cash and who knows what else from
CBS' Television City in Hollywood.

The longtime animal activist told KCBS that he hopes the show will go on without him, that he told no one of his plan to retire before announcing it today, and that any future host of "Price Is Right" would do well to learn the various games contestants play to earn money on the popular program. "There are more than 80 games, and you've got to know them backwards and forwards," he said.

And without spending a dime? I am here for you. So is AOL, which has the disc available for streaming.

Update: After a quick listen, it's not all that bad. The boy can rap.

Expectations are very, very low, and he easily exceeds them. Now, I 'm no rap expert or aficionado, but it's just not that bad -- and while the whole "I'm K-Fed, the paparazzi follow my ass all over, my family this ... Britney that" thing is ever-present, it at least provides some kind of context. After all, the wattage of celebrity in our current media culture is higher than ever. So why not play off of that -- especially if you can't leave your Malibu compound without a hundred paparazzi following you?

With all the entertainment he's brought us in the form of white-trash tabloid fodder, K-Fed deserves our music-listening attention, at least for a moment. Do a brother a solid.

Further update: And it's not a "bitches/ho's"-fest" -- I didn't get the feeling that K-Fed has a total lack of respect for women, like many a rapper.

The planning for the 2007 Academy Awards is still in the very early stages. In fact, the pundits predicting frontrunners based on gossip -- without having seen so much as a trailer -- have plenty of time to reposition their forecasts. But I'm really, really hoping that Sacha Baron Cohen wrangles a presenter position. If the ceremony is dragging (and Ellen DeGeneres can only do so much), a little moment with Borat, Baron Cohen's Kazakhstani alter ego coming to the big screen on Nov. 3, could be the right touch to deflate the stuffy self-importance of the event.

Think what you will of Fox News Channel, the "fair and balanced" (tell it to the judge, boyo) network's gossip Web site is one of the best out there, and Roger Friedman today breaks news that Scarlett Johansson is hankering to make "Scarlett Johansson Sings Tom Waits" for Rhino Records. Got this tidbit from Laist, which suggests some gravelly tunes for Ms. Johansson to wrap her pipes around.

(Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage.com)

"The Colbert Report" marked its first anniversary on Comedy Central Tuesday night with host Stephen Colbert giving up his schmaltzy portrait-within-a-portrait set piece for an even more self-indulgent one with three Colbert images. The old one is being auctioned on eBay with proceeds going to Save the Children, a remarkably non-partisan choice for the pseudo-rightwing pundit he portrays. Bidding was up to $5,200 by Wednesday morning, and it closes at 9 p.m. Pacific on 10/27.

Asylum Street Spankers are taking the political gloves off with their rip at those who claim to support our troops by doing nothing more than plastering a magnetic ribbon on their automobiles. "Stick Magnetic Ribbons on Your SUV," sung to the tune of "Tie a Yellow Ribbon," chides the hollow attempt at unified support of the armed forces while they are begging for properly armored vehicles and protective vests. If you think we should stay the course in Iraq, this could compel you to change your tune.

I've only seen half of "Twenty Good Years," and while I have the tape set aside to watch the rest, I'd better write about it before the whole thing leaves my feeble mind.

Yeah, it's a traditional sitcom. But setup of the premise was done well: John Lithgow is a surgeon, and Geoffrey Tambor a judge, both friends since childhood who are hitting a critical point in their 60 years of life. For Lithgow, it's the forced semi-retirement of his egocentric MD, and with Tambor, it's pressure to marry longtime girlfriend Judith "Who's the Boss?" Light.

When the hospital's suprise birthday/retirement party pushes Lithgow away from the operating table, all heck breaks loose, and after a bender, he ambles into the party at home in his honor, pledging to now live his last "twenty good years" to their fullest, with Tambor along for the ride.

Why does "Twenty Good Years" work?

Two words: John and Lithgow.

Just letting him loose on a sitcom stage to do his thing is more than enough. There is plenty of fodder for what amounts to a second midlife crisis, and I have to say, I've got a good feeling about where the show is going.

I have to say, I enjoyed the "30 Rock" premiere.

It's a single-camera, laugh-track-free comedy about a "Saturday Night Live"-type show. And since the TV business veers toward the unreal and over-the-top, "30 Rock," as satire, isn't all that far from the reality of the situation. And who better to draw that fine line than Tina Fey and company, many of whom have been involved, in one capacity or another, in the real "SNL" (Fey, Tracy Morgan and frequent "SNL" host Alec Baldwin among them)?

As with all satire -- and with all fiction, be it televised, filmed or written -- there's the crucial "buy in": Do you, the viewer, feel comfortable in the world being created by the work? Can you suspend your disbelief enough to remain within the created fictional construct? (That's enough of my lit-crit-bullshit for one paragraph.)

Let's just say that while "30 Rock" isn't any more believable under scrutiny than any other show, it has, in its first episode, drawn a successful satirical world around what happens behind the scenes at a live comedy TV show (one which, at first glance, doesn't appear in the least bit funny -- but hey, that's part of the satire).

At this point, the show is Baldwin's to steal. His GE-"trivection oven"-creating executive is over the top -- but quiet (for Baldwin) and focused about it. The fact that the real General Electric ran about eight commercials during the 30-minute broadcast suggests that NBC-GE-Universal-Kmart (the real one, which hasn't yet purchased the flailing retail chain) either doesn't get it ... or really, really does.

If you listen to Baldwin's exec closely enough, you learn that "The Girlie Show," "30 Rock's" fictional NBC's "SNL"-like sketch comedy offering, has a big viewer deficit in males 18 to 49 that Baldwin aims to fix by adding Morgan's loose-cannon Martin Lawrence-like comic in the cast.

Somehow, having Alec Baldwin spout Nielsen numbers doesn't make my skin crawl, as it did aplenty when Steven Weber did the same thing in the premiere of "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip," NBC's other show-about-a-show.

At this point, Fey is playing straight woman to Baldwin and Morgan -- and her "Girlie Show" producer (Scott Adsit), head writer (Judah Friedlander), current star (Jane Krawkowski) and future star (Morgan) have plenty of potential.

Given that it's half as long as dramatic doppelganger "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip," and probably costs about a fourth as much to produce, "30 Rock" should outlast Aaron Sorkin's entry in NBC's show-about-a-show sweepstakes.

We'll see if I'm right in the next month or so.

From The N.Y. Post's Page Six:

Hugh Hefner is bored with sex and would rather play a game of dominoes. That's because the 80-year-old Playboy czar, who's bedded thousands of women, says he no longer has the energy for sex. "I'm bored of the hanky-panky. I'm still active, but it's different - I like to play dominoes with my girlfriends," he tells the London Sun. Hef once had a harem of seven girlfriends - but in 1997, he cut down to a mere three, saying they got jealous.

I wonder what his position is on Twister.

(ba-DUM-bum)

Stop what you're doing and be prepared to hear the gospel of life as lived and breathed by Mr. T.

The star of "The A-Team," and a living, breathing, cancer-surviving icon, Mr. T goes out to meet the people -- and change their lives -- in the catch-phrase-named "I Pity the Fool," premiering at 10 tonight on TV Land.

In the first episode, T goes to a New York auto dealership that's not exactly moving the metal, if you know what I mean. It's run by a man and his son-in-law -- and is there tension in that relationship? Boy is there. Add to that salesmen sleeping on the job and generally too much unproductive jibber-jabber, and it's a situation made for the motivational powers of the one and only Mr. T.

As he says, in one of his many Dan-Rather-worthy catch-phrases: "You can't spell 'success' without T."

And as Mr. T himself said in Monday's Celebrities column by Marilyn Beck and Stacy Jenel Smith: "Dr. Phil gives advice. I help people."

And help he does. First Mr. T gives a rousing motivational speech, then he sets a goal at the Nissan dealership -- sell 20 cars in 48 hours. T puts his money where his always-moving mouth is: He dons a suit and tie (with sneakers, natch) and proceeds to try and sell a car. He makes a bunch of cold calls ... but nobody believes it's Mr. T calling to sell them a car, and he gets hung up on ... a lot.

But in the face-to-in-your-face world of car sales, Mr. T makes it happen -- he gets a nice couple into a new Altima, and finds trouble with the dealership's "closer." At one point, T yells at him, "You're going to lose a deal over $35? $35? That's chump change? You can't lose a deal over $35! That's lunch for Mr. T!"

I think we all learned something there.

Meanwhile, T has other work to do -- he has to heal the relationship between father and son-in-law, motivate an entire sales force ... and help move 19 more Nissans off the lot. Can he do it? Tune in tonight, fools.