Movies: June 2006 Archives

They tried suggesting he might be gay. They inferred that he may be a stand-in for Jesus. Now people who insist on getting upset over something - anything - about the new Superman movie are complaining that Perry White is a traitor for referencing the old Supes catchphrase "Truth, justice and . . ." and leaving out "the American way" part.

Whether you think that's an amusing gag, a craven capitulation to the larger international moviegoing audience or another of those feverishly imagined examples of Hollywood hating the good old USA, it really doesn't make "Superman Returns" any more interesting than any of the other hyperventilated interpretations.
Face it: Supes has always been something of a stiff as comic book characters go, and compared to Spider-Man, Batman and the X-Men movies, he still sorta is. There is some beautiful, elegant filmmaking in Bryan Singer's movie. But all the fake controversy in the world can't make it exciting.

Outfest starts Jully 6!
In preparing for the preview story I wrote for the paper that runs July 2 (U Section), I was able to hit advance screener paydirt and have already seen 15 of the movies.
Here are some of my Outfest faves so far:
- A Love to Hide (Un Amour A Taire): French drama about secret lovers during WWII in German occupied France could be the best film you see at Outfest this year. Loved it, felt it in the gut, cried some. Wow.
- Queens (Reinas): Hilarious. The Spanish actresses playing the moms of a group of gay men getting hitched in a mass ceremony are an absolute hoot!
- Camp Out:: A gem of a documentary about a group of gay teens at a Christian bible camp. I ended up really caring about them. I know what it's like being a gay teen, especiially a gay teen who wants to stay in church and still be true to yourself.
- The Gymnast: Most times, gay men generally avoid lesbian movies at Ouitfest and vice-versa. This year, I'm trying to take everything in. This is a movie anyone can appreciate. It's a female love story and it's hot!
- Vacationland: Two high school best friends fall in love. Both hunky. That alone gets me in the door. But the movie offers so much more. It's got some unexpected twists and you really get how much these two flawed and damaged guys love each other.
- Shocked to the System: Donald Strachey Mystery: A tour de force for Chad Allen! The second film in a series, Chad plays a private eye who happens to be gay. He's shows just how far he's left his Dr. Quinn days behind in this flick.
I also recommend Coffee Date, Boy Culture and 20 Centimeters.

Revolution Studios is the Aaron Spelling of the film industry, churning out crass, reliably stupid movies at a pace that would exhaust a hyena that's just ingested a meth lab. "Click" is its latest moronorama, and it, predictably enough, wowed the critics. (And made a huge pile of money, it almost goes without saying.)

A glance at the production company's fare is like a visit to a Dodger Stadium mens room on Fiber-and-Laxative Nite. To wit: "Benchwarmers," "Are We There Yet?," "Christmas with the Kranks," "xXx: State of the Union," "Little Black Book," "White Chicks," "Daddy Day Care," "Hollywood Homicide," "Radio," "Made in Manhattan," "The Master of Disguise," "Tomcats," "The Animal" and, of course, the notorious "Gigli." They also cooked up something called "Li'l Pimp," an animated feature that repelled a full half of its test-screening audience a few years back and has never been released.

Most of these just aren't misfires; they're aggressively awful flicks that earned some of the most vitriolic reviews of their day. So who, one might reasonably ask, is the revolution against? And where does one sign up to join the counter-insurgency?

In honor -- well, honor's not the right word, but you understand -- of Adam Sandler's latest flick, "Click," here's a little interactive project for anyone with time on their hands: Create the worst movie Hollywood might actually make.

This, of course, gives you plenty of latitude.

My idea: "Dumb F---s," in which Adam Sandler plays an aimless loser who inherits a Nevada whorehouse from his very flatulent uncle (Robert Loggia) who, in a spectacularly funny scene (if you're a 12-year-old boy; interminable to everyone else) farts himself to death as explains to the initially reticent Adam why he wants him to take over the business (he needs to learn responsibility, etc.). So Adam and his wacky buddies are enjoying the high life at the brothel, with lots of lascivious highjinks and bare backsides involved in pratfalls (even if Adam is a little spooked by the Madam, played by Cloris Leachman). But a determined and crusading if perky and freshly scrubbed female journalist (Camilla Belle, or any young actress who really can't act, since the role makes no earthly emotional sense whatsoever anyway) who believes that prostitution is demeaning to women does an undercover series of stories revealing the embarrassing goings-on at their cathouse, which spurs Adam to, yep, take more responsibility. But of course she and Sandler fall in love, and that whole female-empowerment debate gets neatly shunted to the side, where it can be safely ignored.

You can do better. Hollywood can't do worse. Submit an entry. The best will be posted later on.

I sure did. Not that I've seen the show; I can't tell you whether Thursday night's broadcast will be clever or stupid (it's been both in the past), and I can only definitively assure you that host Jessica Alba will look awfully cute.
But what I have been enjoying since the ceremonies were taped last weekend was how much better taste the presumably witless kids who voted for these awards exhibited compared to the clueless old duffers at the academy.
Stop reading here if you haven't already heard the widely reported results and want to be surprised tonight.