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The annual Paley Festival at the Paley Center for Media - formerly the Museum of TV and Radio - will run this year from March 14th to March 27th and at a new venue. Unlike previous years where it was held at the Directors Guild, this year's will be at the Arclight Theatre on Sunset and Argyle in Hollywood.
The lineup is
The 40th Anniversary of Elvis '68 (3/14)
Pushing Daisies (3/15)
Judd Apatow and Friends (3/17)
Chuck (3/18)
Friday Night Lights (3/19)
The Buffy the Vampire Slayer Reunion (3/20)
Dancing with the Stars (3/21)
Gossip Girl (3/22)
Damages (3/24)
Dirty Sexy Money (3/25)
Tracey Ullman's State of the Union (3/26)
Mad Men (3/27)
Go to www.paleycenter.org for more info.
Once again, the Paley Center has failed to honor the classic shows I Married Dora and God, the Devil and Bob. Damn them.
Sadly, it looks like the show Friday Night Lights might be over for good. Such a good show. The pilot episode was one of the best ever, along with the Heroes premiere - both that aired in the same season.
Grab it on DVD when you can and watch them all in a row.
Just got word that the 80's TV Show Square Pegs will be released on DVD - finally - in late spring this year. The DVD will be all 20 episodes and cool extras, including interviews with the some of the cast and with Anne Beatts - the show's creator.
In case you forgot, the show starred Sarah Jessica Parker and Amy Linker as two high school students desperately trying to fit into the right clique. Tracy Nelson was totally in the show too and played a Valley girl and Jami Gertz and John Femia (as 'Marshall Blechtman') also co-starred.
Linker won a TV Land Award last year, but I'm not sure what Parker has been doing since. Haven't heard much about her.
Bravo's announcement today of an upcoming fan-voted clip show from its reality files at first struck me as the cheapest -- and most writer-strike-proof -- special a network could mount. But the more I think about it, the more I like it.
"20 Most Outrageous Bravo Moments," airing in February, will cobble together bits and pieces from "Project Runway," "Top Chef," "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List," "Being Bobby Brown" and "Show Dogs Moms and Dads." And apparently not a single overly fawning moment from James Lipton on "Inside Actors Studio."
The net is asking voters to pick best fight, best meltdown, best "oh my God," funniest and most humiliating. Vote this month at www.bravotv.com.
ESPN's puffing out its chest today about the audience for its Monday Night Football matchup between Dallas and Buffalo, which became a knuckle biter ending in a 25-24 victory for the Cowboys.
The game averaged 9,639,000 homes tuned in, according to the news release, "the most for any show on cable television in 2007." Wow. I guess.
Yes, in households, it beat even "High School Musical 2," which delivered 9,433,000 households. But then ESPN compares its total viewer figures to that little juggernaut on its sister network, Disney Channel, and the bubble pops. HSM delivered 17,241,000 in its August premiere to Monday Night Football's 13,028,000. Which I suppose means that wide-eyed, clear-skinned young lovers Troy and Gabrielle can whup a bunch of 300-pound no-neck NFL linemen.
While NBC viewers are watching guys bouncing on pogo sticks and swinging lariats for "America's Got Talent," the show across the pond has the real deal. On the heels of last week's delightful viral video of toothless 6-year-old Conny doing a pitch-perfect a capella "Over the Rainbow" on "Britain's Got Talent" comes Paul Potts, who survived schoolyard bullies and found his self-worth in opera. Even without a third-act death scene, he kills.
Did NBC honcho Kevin Reilly decide to renew "Medium" in his usual manner, or did Patricia Arquette call him and tell him it would happen?
I know about Sanjaya. Not that I've seen even a single minute of "American Idol" this season, because I haven't. But there' s no denying Sanjaya's media mojo -- the kid is sucking all the air out of "Idol's" overly hot psychic space.
The young Indian (can you call him Indian-American, as opposed to American Indian?) with all that hair has dominated "Idol" coverage and conversation over the past month, and while I'd never heard him, I'd certainly seen him ... in dozens and dozens of pictures running in just about every magazine, newspaper and Web site that covers such things. The Sanjaya din is so loud, I didn't even know about Haley Scarnato's infamous legs -- hell, I didn't even know there was a Haley Scarnato.
So, intrepid reporter that I am, I decide to go to the ends of the journalistic Earth to hear Sanjaya sing. It's as easy as Googling. (And what isn't?) "American Idol" is hot to sell (yes sell, as in for money) audio and video versions of the "Idol" finalists' performances, so you can enjoy them wherever you have access to your favorite media player. On the Sanjaya page, where audio tracks are 99 cents each, videos $1.99, you can hear substantial chunks of unadulterated Sanjaya, and I've got to say, while he's no Van Morrison, there's a hint of Wayne Newton (check out his "Cheek to Cheek"). Maybe Sanjaya will grace us with "Danke Schoen" this week? Probably not.
And while mention of Sanjaya's hair is followed quickly by reports of his lack of ability when it comes to singing, as long as he's not a tone-deaf William Hung, what's the problem? On the clips I heard, Sanjaya does sing in tune -- and if he can be on key some of the time, modern studio magic can take care of the rest. The kid is no Michael Jackson, or even Justin Tiimberlake, but Sanjaya can get his little butt up there, shake that head of hair and sing the bloody song.
Sanjaya may just be a blank, follically endowed slate upon which America's pre-teen girls inscribe their adolescent boy-man dreams (Taylor Hicks was and is NOT that guy, nor are Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard). And if the whole longhaired package has America dialing in to the "Idol" phone lines, why shouldn't Sanjaya win? The Earth will continue to spin on its axis, Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest will continue teasing each other with quasi-gay innuendo (I have the worst gaydar in both Christendom and Jewishdom and can't really tell who's what), Paula Abdul will continue to be our 3-year-old's favorite dance teacher (those "Sesame Street" videos have legs for DECADES), I will probably not watch "Idol," and we will all live in a Sanjaya nation, because he's as American as Neil Diamond -- and that's pretty gosh-darned American. Maybe he'll sing "Coming to America" on the next "Idol." Probably not.
The single best episode of reality television I've seen all year (and I've seen a lot) is the second of three Gene-and-Shannon-get-face-lifts episodes of "Gene Simmons Family Jewels," which shows, yes, the reality of gettting an 11-hour cosmetic surgery ("His skin is so thick, it's like a hide," the surgeon says at one point) -- and wife/Playboy Playmate Shannon Tweed's went so badly, causing so much pain, that the cameras didn't even follow her.
Why these two decided on getting his-and-hers face lifts isn't beside the point, but it was dealt with on an earlier episode, with the decision to undergo a major surgical procedure treated with a lot more levity than is the aftermath of said surgeries in what I saw, "Episode 18: Face Off," which first aired this past Sunday but is slated to run again at 9:30 p.m. April 22 on A&E.
I saw the show on a press DVD, and since I don't have cable, I guess I've missed the last 50 or so real-life surgery shows on the Discovery Channel, and I'd never seen a face lift actually been done before when the doc began slicing KISS bassist Gene Simmons from temple to chin, flapping his "hide" over some kind of surgical contraption for later reattachment somewhere else on his aged cranium.
I had to look away several times, since I'm not the kind of person who wouldn't faint at the actual sight of such copious amounts of blood and hanging flesh. Here's some "uncut and raw" surgery video deemed "too graphic for TV," although I can't imagine what they didn't show (and I won't be watching this clip, as I just ate lunch).
Gene seemed pretty much devoid of pain (due to effective medication), except when they removed (again, on camera) the plastic drain tubing (yes, filled with blood and other "fluids" emanating from his noggin) on both sides of his head. He looked like he'd been beaten up ... in prison. Son Nick compared him to Mr. Miyagi (the late Pat Morita) from the "Karate Kid" movies ... but I think he looked more like an overly puffy William Shatner (sorry Bill -- I'll pick up the check next time we're doing lunch at Nate 'n' Al's).
After a few days of recovery, during which Simmons' sense of humor (pure Borscht Belt for this New York Jew) didn't leave him (but shit, it looks pretty freakin' painful), he was driven home, where son Nick and daughter Sophie saw him all bandanged and banged up. Sophie, who's somewhere around 15, didn't take it well at all, and that's where the episode ended.
Meanwhile, Shannon hadn't yet come home, her complications and pain being too severe.
So even though I think Gene Simmons is certifiably crazy, I give him points for putting his crazy up close and up front on "Gene Simmons Family Jewels." This episode was better than the one last season when Gene helped collect bull semen at the ranch he invested in.
Take this away from "Gene Simmons Family Jewels": Plastic surgery is painful, bloody, nasty, brutish but not short.
"Episode 19 -- Stir Crazy" airs 9 p.m. Sunday, April 15 and 1 a.m. Monday, April 16
Description from A&E: A bruised and weary Shannon returns home. Wrapped head to toe and heavily sedated, she and Gene begin recuperating at opposite ends of their 16,000 square foot mansion and drive the whole family crazy in the process. Nick and Sophie enlist crazy Aunt Tracy to rescue them while Gene defies doctor's orders, pushing Shannon over the edge and jeopardizing their recovery.
"Episode 17 -- Nice Day for a Face Lift" airs 9:30 p.m. Sunday, April 15 and 1:30 a.m. Monday, April 16
Description from A&E: Our cameras document every moment of Gene and Shannon's dual cosmetic surgeries. We are by their side as they kiss the kids goodbye, get prepped for their procedures and are put under anesthesia.
"Episode 14 -- Under the Knife" airs 6 p.m. Sunday, April 22.
Description: Moments away from getting his facelift, Gene receives a call telling him the KISS publicity tour has been rescheduled. While he hops a plane to New York, Aunt Tracy takes Nick on an embarrassing shopping spree to get a pregnancy test for Shannon. Right before a live appearance on MTV's TRL, Gene realizes his Demon costume has gone missing, sending the hotel's assistant manager on a mad dash to recover 30 years of history and make sure Gene gets to his live TV show on time.
"Episode 18 -- Face Off" airs 9:30 p.m. Sunday, April 22 and 1:30 a.m. Monday, April 23
Description from A&E: Gene and Shannon undergo over 8 hours of surgery. The procedures go smoother for Gene than for Shannon, who has a much harder time post surgery and must be hospitalized longer than expected. Meanwhile, Gene returns home and has a very emotional and upsetting reunion with Nick and Sophie.
Photo: Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed just before their face lifts (Photo from A&E)
... you probably missed "Great American Dream Vote," ABC's latest attempt to cheaply latch onto the ratings coattails of "Dancing With the Stars." The show lasted only two episodes. ABC would call that a cancellation. I call it a mercy killing. I actually watched both installments because the kids and I couldn't believe how bad it was. It was hard to look away. So host Donny Osmond goes back to calling his agent and asking, "Got anything for me?" And some schmuck named Russ is the one and only prize winner. His "dream"? To have hair again. He feels emotionally crippled by male-pattern baldness at the tender age of 22. He won a hair transplant, a windsurfer, a wardrobe, a wad of cash and a convertible, the better to test the hair implants.
"Extra" says it has the dirt on "Dirt." It says its Tuesday episode will feature a clip from Courteney Cox's FX series "Dirt" in which she and guest star Jennifer Aniston get pretty darned friendly. Finally putting an image on film that surely countless men have played out in their minds, Aniston, playing a lesbian, plants a kiss on Cox. The episode of "Dirt" airs later Tuesday evening.
Don't know about you, but we've been wringing our hands here about Star Jones Reynolds' future ever since she quit (was bounced from) "The View" last year. She's found her career safety net at the network that gave her her start in legal punditry. Court TV says Reynolds will be executive editor and host of a new live daytime talk show that will offer "a fresh perspective to the day's most talked-about crime and justice stories from the news and pop culture arenas." The show, due to hit the air later this year, does not yet have a title. And it's a good guess that the network has not yet found an assistant for Reynolds willing to accept a job description that includes lotioning Star's legs as needed.
The Radio and Television News Directors Foundation next week will be honoring Roger Ailes, chairman and CEO of Fox News, in addition to ABC's Bob Woodruff, CBS correspondent Kimberly Dozier and Philip Balboni of New England Cable News.
"RTNDF honors leaders in media and business who have shown outstanding support for the First Amendment," the announcement read.
Ailes? Really? The head of the network that routinely cuts short anybody voicing an opinion different from, oh, I dunno, Roger Ailes? Come on...
He may be all about New York City now, but Regis Philbin is doing a little video love letter Tuesday morning to the city that gave him his break in television, Los Angeles. He'll be taking a video tour of the mini-malls and parking garages that now stand (I'd kidding here, but it could be true) where he worked as a stagehand at KCOP, a sidekick for Joey Bishop and a star in his own right on KABC. For her part, Kelly Ripa will smile and ask when the flight back to NYC takes off. "Live With Regis and Kelly" is broadcasting from the West Coast all week.
Good news for late night fans: David Letterman has re-upped with CBS's "The Late Show" through fall of 2010. So he's hanging in for three more years of undeserved ratings punishment from "The Tonight Show," until some TBA date in 2009 when Jay Leno turns over NBC's desk to Conan O'Brien. And Letterman's willing to go at least a few months toe-to-toe with O'Brien, who's really more of a match for his wit than Leno ever will be. Just keep serving up those Top Ten Lists, those odd stunts involving a New York rooftop and asphalt below, visits to the Hello Deli, digs at the president and pictures of your beautiful boy, Dave.
... may be Mike Darnell, the Fox programming whizbang behind O.J. Simpson's "If I Did It" special and nearly every other tacky reality programming initiative that network has dished out in the last several years. Darnell's career has survived such programming disasters as the "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?," "Married by America" (the 2003 matchmaking show which had a still-married contestant -- oops! ) and "Alien Autopsy," which rated very high among readers of those supermarket tabloids that insist Elvis is still alive.
The good news, of course, is that News Corp. took the high road (finally) and announced Monday that it is scrubbing both the two-night special scheduled for next week and the book from News Corp's own ReganBooks imprint of Harper Collins. Three cheers for all the advertisers, talking heads and regular folk who spoke up in protest of "If I Did It," in which the acquitted murder suspect details how he would have offed ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend, Ronald Goldman in 1994.
On the other hand, News Corp. is not taking an official stand on Darnell's future with the company. How much more schlock are they going to accept from this guy? Pity the stations, particularly the owned-and-operated ones like L.A.'s KTTV, who must suffer the indignity of airing his programming.
After "Dancing With the Stars" Tuesday night (Emmitt, you killed!), I got sucked into the "preview" of ABC's latest game show franchise, "Show Me the Money." With William Shatner as its host, it seemed like all I'd have to do is choose my favorite punchline. But I have to admit it grabbed me.
Could be because the first contestant, Matt Marr, the guy with the "murse" manpurse from Oklahoma who apparently had springs in his shoes, was so damned fun to watch -- in fact, way more than the "Officer and a Gentleman" wannabe who followed him.
It's got an interesting combination of quiz show, gambling and jiggle. Howie Mandel can keep his leggy models on "Deal or No Deal." These girls can dance, and do so whenever Captain Kirk orders them to.
ABC reports it attracted 12.4 million viewers in its first outing. Look for it to grow when it moves to its usual 8 p.m. slot next week.
"The Colbert Report" marked its first anniversary on Comedy Central Tuesday night with host Stephen Colbert giving up his schmaltzy portrait-within-a-portrait set piece for an even more self-indulgent one with three Colbert images. The old one is being auctioned on eBay with proceeds going to Save the Children, a remarkably non-partisan choice for the pseudo-rightwing pundit he portrays. Bidding was up to $5,200 by Wednesday morning, and it closes at 9 p.m. Pacific on 10/27.
Pop boytoy Aaron Carter was not even engaged long enough for me to write a sniping comment about it. Us Weekly says within a week of his getting down on bended knee before ex-Playmate Kari Ann Peniche onstage In Las Vegas, he has called off the wedding plans. Carter, only 18, tells the mag he "realized it was a hasty thing to do and I am not ready for marriage quite yet."
Was this an unusually rational insight from Aaron? Or was it just some casting advice from the producers of "House of Carters," the new E! reality show (a very loose use of the term here) debuting at 9 p.m. on Oct. 2? It's already a 3/2 ratio of self-centered women to men in the house, and adding yet another female to the mix could upset the chemistry of the show. Or cause a massive power outage on L.A.'s west side due to simultaneous use of multiple blow dryers and hair straighteners.
CBS is promoting a streaming Innertube show centered on its daytime workhorse game show, "The Price Is Right." Network publicists describe the online videolog, which launched Wednesday and continues through Sept. 27, as "a six-part reality series chronicling five teenage boys' drive across the country to realize their dream of seeing 'The Price Is Right' and meeting Bob Barker."
A bunch of 18- and 19-year-old guys from one town in New Hampshire dreaming of meeting Barker? This could perhaps take a prize, if there were one, for the most fast-and-loose use of the word "reality."
Way to go, HGTV viewers, for picking David Bromstad of Miami as the winner of the first "HGTV Design Star" competition. Although he needs to work on his on-camera presence, it's really his talented eye and creativity we'll be tuning in for when his still untitled series debuts next year.
With the final competition decided by viewers instead of celeb judges, I can't help but wonder how many votes by female and gay male viewers -- a huge chunk of the HGTV audience -- were influenced by David's buff bod. For the final challenge -- creating a room in a glass house situated in New York's Central Park -- it was either the muggy weather or a really sharp calculation that prompted David to work shirtless much of the time.
As for runner-up Alice Fakier of Temple, Texas, she deserves points for being gracious throughout, particularly in the last two rounds, and for single-handedly saving the reputation of women designers everywhere while most of her female competitors on the show came off as bitchy or weird.
Both David and Alice worked well under pressure and stayed above the pettiness of the rest, proving nice guys really can finish first.
It's one thing for TMZ.com to send videographers into the world to pester celebrities outside of nightclubs in hopes that they'll be drunk enough to issue forth some kind of tirade against, oh, say, Lindsay Lohan and her naturally red hair. It's quite another for an ostensibly reputable TV newscast -- oh, who am I kidding, putting "reputable" and "TV newscast" together in the same sentence -- to dump sad news on celebrities busy preening merrily on the red carpet of a premiere.
And yet, that's precisely what KCAL's Dave Clark did last night at the Pantages: Button-hole celebrities for their reactions to the death of Bruno Kirby. It's a fairly amusing and eminently lazy piece, incongruously combining Kirby's death -- which, let's face it, probably in the scheme of things doesn't deserve this much air time -- with a puff piece about the premiere of a musical, juxtaposing big red-carpet smiles with expressions of sorrow.
It excels as an exercise in measuring spontaneous emoting from people who didn't really know the guy (why bother hunting down his onscreen co-stars when there's a random pile of celebrities amassing in one place?), however, with Jennifer Tilly's gape-mouthed response (they worked together, sort of, as voices of CGI mice) -- "Omigod, are you kidding?" -- the most dramatic. Robert Davi (ID'd in the piece as "Robert Dabi" -- fading fame's a bitch, innit?) ruefully shakes his head for the cameras more than he ever would have in real life because he understands that's what's expected of him. Lorenzo Lamas is a veritable fount of information: "I had no idea he was ill," Lamas says, confessing that he never worked with Kirby but "I liked his work." You can almost see the gears whirring in Lamas's brain trying to place the name, the face -- and he succeeds, noting accurately that Kirby did both comedic and dramatic roles.
Clark's next assignment: Asking red-carpet trollers what they thought about the capture of JonBenet Ramsey's killer, or just offering them current-events quizes in general.
At long last, a vote where -- I can actually verify this -- what you do doesn't get swallowed by Diebolt or some other evil component of the Republican Party.
The other night, Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert urged all fans to vote for him in an online election created by the Hungarian government to name a new bridge.
His provocation had been going on for a day or two, but at this point, it had gathered some traction: By the time I had been able to penetrate Hungarian bandwidth to cast my vote, Colbert's support had grown from a mere 1,400 or so to 43K. By the time I lost interest in guaging his fans' rabid support (a mere 10 minutes or so; I'm pretty easily bored), another 3,000 supporters had added their voices.
Tonight, Colbert's lunatic fringe expanded to 10 times that number. 438,000-plus have added their support to his efforts to name this bridge after he implored us to screw up the Internets. (Now, it's possible to cast your vote without having to wade through all that Hungarian language, which I had to do.)
Of course, at this point, Colbert has only garnered 3 percent of the vote, as opposed to 0 percent when I voted. But he's easily surpassed the votes cast for Chuck Norris and, dammit, we're Americans; we can impose our will anywhere on the planet!
Prior to this, of course, Colbert had implored viewers to muck up facts at wickipedia.com, and they complied. Clearly, there's no stopping this guy. He owns online truthiness, and the rest of the media are merely pretenders. Oppose this guy at your own danger.
ABC News reports today that members of al Qaeda are dressing in drag to elude detection.
Who could’ve guessed that al Qaeda would turn to Benny Hill for military strategy? That really underscores the kind of monsters we’re dealing with. Odd, however, that they seem to have a more progressive policy than the U.S. Army’s don’t-ask-don’t-tell.
I hear they’re also developing another method of avoiding capture involving cramming about 30 terrorists into a really tiny car.
Katie Couric speaks to the Washington Post’s media analyst Howard Kurtz today (registration may be required), and it may be time to start worrying about the future of CBS News.
Much of what Couric says to Kurtz – if not all of it – is the same sort of rhetoric she delivered last month during the TV Press Tour in Pasadena. But when you look hard at what she’s saying, you have to wonder, is this the person you want running your signature newscast?
"Sometimes when you watch the evening news, it's all gloom and doom -- and some of it has to be, because the world is a complicated and pretty scary place right now," Couric told Kurtz. "But there has to be a place for more hopeful stories."
“Gloom and doom?� “The world is a complicated and pretty scary place right now?� Did someone just apprise her of that fact? I guess what’s most worrisome about that quote is how tamped-down it feels, how pre-chewed and processed so that even particularly dim people can relate to it. Is she going to be that condescending to viewers when she delivers the news?
Apparently. Before appearing at press tour, Couric embarked upon a cross-country tour to divine from ordinary citizens what they thought about the evening newscasts. And guess what? People find the news too depressing.
So Couric’s going to fix that for them: "It's not going to be smiley-face happy news," she promises Kurtz, but, on the other hand, "They're not all going to be super-heavy.�
Again, “smiley-face happy?� “Super-heavy?� Aren’t news anchors supposed to speak with something approaching authority rather than sounding like they’re carrying a pacifier for their viewers?
And what’s up with these crybabies who apparently want newscasts skewed to mollify them rather than inform them? They sound suspiciously like the people who vote based on which candidate they'd want to have a beer with rather than which candidate has a firm grasp of the issues: “Oh, boo-hoo-hoo, I didn’t pay any attention to the issues before I voted, and now that things are really tilting toward Armageddon, I don’t want to hear about it at all! Can’t you just run stories about animal rescue shelters and Brangelina and Botox?�
And Couric’s response: “Good evening: Tonight in Baghdad, an adorable, wide-eyed 4-year-old girl was pulled, relatively unscathed, from the rubble after a blast that killed 28, including most of the rest of her family. CBS News has decided to send her a giant pink plush bunny – and matching Kevlar vests for her and her new best friend. Coming up next: What the heck’s up with all this online poker?�
At Comedy Central’s roast of William Shatner Sunday night (it’ll air next Sunday at 10 p.m.), the network began plying audience members with wine a full 90 minutes before the taping began, served in carafes by women modeling those shiny, futuristically functional micromini dresses that figured so frequently in “Star Trek� episodes. Besides those outfits, the women wore glum – well, let’s just say less than ebullient – expressions on their faces and spent at least as much time self-consciously pulling down their skirts as they did bringing wine to those assembled. There was no food – unless you count nuts as food (and, being allergic, I don’t) – until the party after the taping, ensuring viewers would be well-lubricated and, theoretically, more ready to laugh during the taping, which ran more than two and a half hours. (Fortunately, viewers at home, with a less fulsome supply of alcohol to tide them over, will see a lean, trimmed-down version of the event.)
While many of those torching Shatner were plenty amusing, the roster of roasters would’ve been well served by some judicious omissions, and maybe some of the assorted comics could’ve consulted with one another to see which of the many obvious targets each of them were planning to emphasize, or run full into the ground.
Jason Alexander was the evening’s host; Shatner himself rode a horse through the crowd for his entrance. He took in the proceedings from Captain Kirk’s helm from the original series or, as Shatner referred to it, that “cheap (expletive) chair� (if viewers are treated to only the clean material from the event, it’ll run a good 10 minutes; as is, they’ll be treated to bleeps upon bleeps upon bleeps). Women slathered in green body-paint – again, referencing a particular episode from the original series – served beverages to those onstage (and, clearly, too much to comic Andy Dick, who single-handedly dragged the event out a good 15 minutes longer than it needed to be; comedian Patton Oswalt at one point poured out Dick’s drink in a vain effort to curtail his relentless scene-stealing and, referring to last year’s Comedy Central souse, asked, “Why do I feel that Courtney Love killed Andy Dick and put his skin on?�)
So here’s a very unofficial count of the joke-types employed to mock Shatner throughout the evening:
“Star Trek:� 41 (this refers to the number of jokes aimed at Shatner and not others on the dais, and also, not mere references)
Shatner’s eccentric acting style: 36
The fact that he’s overweight: 25
Bill’s hairpiece: 18
Shatner’s song-stylings, more eccentric even than his acting: 14
References to “Boston Legal� and/or “The Practice,� for which Shatner has won two Emmys: One, maybe two.
(Mr. Shatner is lucky that I neglected from the outset to count the number of references to the perception that he’s a bit of a, uhhh, jerk when it comes to dealing with co-stars, but I estimate those gags tallied more than the toupee jokes but less than those about his over-acting.)
However, the most jokes throughout the evening referred to roaster and former “Star Trek� star George Takei’s not-all-that-recent decision to come out of the closet. Again, I didn’t begin a tally on that genre of jape from the outset, but if I had, they would’ve gone off the chart. If a panelist didn’t make a Takei-is-gay joke, they simply weren’t trying hard enough. (Of course, if they did more than a couple, they were trying -too hard.)
A few celebrities had significant problems reading the teleprompter, most notably Farrah Fawcett, who, after bumbling a few too many line readings, felt the need to declare, “OK, I’m not on anything!�
Thankfully, they saved the best for last: A blisteringly funny set by Lisa Lampanelli, who has easily usurped Jeffrey Ross’s position as postmodern roastmaster general (Ross has simply gotten too lazy and complacent, while Lampanelli truly hones a vitriolic, virtuosic, evening-appropriate – if on most other levels utterly inappropriate – set). Most of the best gags – not just Lampanelli’s – can’t be recounted here without a host of (expletive deleted’s) and (censored’s) and (are-you-kidding?-I’d-get-fired-if-I-even-tried-to-hint-at-that-word’s). So good luck to Comedy Central's editors and to those trying to make sense out of what's being said under the copious bleeps when the special airs next week.
There's been plenty of speculation in the past few months about whether Katie Couric has the credibility to pull off being the first solo female anchor of a network evening newscast. The viewers will decide Sept. 5, and I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. But then I saw a promo last night during "60 Minutes" that made me wonder. There's Katie, doing her level best to persuade viewers that "The CBS Evening News" will continue to be the go-to show for serious, though-provoking coverage... while behind her sits a jumbo bouquet of lilies! Did this network ever park a large flower arrangement directly behind Walter Cronkite, Dan Rather or Bob Schieffer? It seems that, even while Couric is striving for credibility, her own network is undermining her.
You can see the pilots for the fall season (that is, if you haven’t seen NBC’s via Netflix or the others online or however else they’re virally marketing them) before I get to review them when the Museum of Television & Radio hosts screenings of fall-season shows before they air.
MTR hypes their presentations thusly: “Each of the five broadcast networks will present their most “buzz-worthy� pilots in their entirety.� What “their most ‘buzz-worthy’ pilots� means, essentially, is everything that will debut this fall.
Since Fox is kicking off several new shows early, they’re first up: “Justice,� “Standoff� “’Til Death,� “Vanished� and “Happy Hour� will all be previewed on Aug. 18, three days before the premiere of “Vanished.�
The rest occur a month later. ABC’s up first, on Tuesday, Sept. 12, with “Ugly Betty,� “The Nine,� “Knights of Prosperity,� “Help Me Help You� and “Six Degrees.� Luckily, ABC moved two more shows – “Big Day� and “Notes from the Underbelly� – to midseason, and won’t feature its November series “Day Break,� or you’d be stuck there until dawn.
NBC follows on Wednesday, Sept. 13, with “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip,� “Heroes,� “Friday Night Lights,� “30 Rock� and “20 Good Years.� Did we mention alcohol will be served at these events?
On Thursday, Sept. 14, CBS will offer the relatively lean lineup of “Smith,� “Shark,� “Jericho� and “The Class.�
The CW proffers its lean lineup – do you think anyone will bother to attend this? – with “Runaway� and “The Game� debuting on Friday, Sept. 15.
Screenings are free, but reservations are required. Call 310.786.1099 or contact specialeventsla@mtr.org. For more information, go to www.mtr.org. Booze will begin to be poured at 6:30 p.m.; screenings commence at 7:00 p.m. each night.
Backstory short: Tori and Candy haven't gotten along, as most exemplified in Tori's dumb-campy TV show "So noTORIous," which depicts her mother as a sociopathic hedonist. Apparently in real life Candy is not so much a sociopathic hedonist as not to realize that being one in fact is a bad thing.
Current long story short: Tori was planning a "tribute" to her father's artistry that she would host and produce for ABC. Candy denied her access to the excerpts from Spelling's transcendent oeuvre necessary for the clipjob, but did give them to NBC for a much shorter memorial that'll bring the Emmy ceremony to a dead halt for five minutes. Score one for Mom.
And Tori hasn't been invited to the Emmys yet. This one we'll score in Tori's favor -- this way, she can do something actually entertaining that night. But she better watch her back; Candy's probably not done with her.
Tonight’s episode of “30 Days� (10 p.m. on FX) features an atheist moving in with a family of born-again Christians. Given the country’s climate, this episode may be the boldest of “30 Days�’ statements to date – and this is a series that openly seeks controversy, and, conversely, seeks to find resolution between both sides of controversies.
At this point in American history, resolute faith vs. whatever else is a possibility remains a contentious issue. Atheists assert that we have to find our own moral compasses, which are more meaningful than some moral code forced upon us, while fundamentalist Christians find such meaning in their faith that they feel that others who muddle through their troubled lives would be happier if Christ became a part of their existence, so why shouldn’t they urge their answers upon others?
This issue is so difficult that Morgan Spurlock – the series creator – offers little sense of resolution. He didn’t have this problem in the second-season premiere of the show, in which he openly admitted he skewed the truth to appear to depict a rapprochement between illegal immigrants and an anti-immigration activist.
Regardless, at this point, the best we can hope for is that those who disagree with others can at least respect others’ opinions, which is what this series aspires to and which is so obviously missing from American culture these days.
With that lofty goal in mind, here are some utterly frivolous scenarios proposed for future “30 Days� episodes:
The producer of “Girls Gone Wild� videos spends a month with radical feminists who won’t let him anywhere near alcohol.
A tee totaling Jew moves in with Mel Gibson.
A humble, soft-spoken human being spends quality time with Oliver Stone.
Bill O’Reilly and Keith Olbermann cohabitate.
Lindsay Lohan hangs with a family of sober, hard-working people who’ve never heard of the word “exhaustion.�
Paris Hilton encounters a race of individuals who prefer to keep their genitals outside the purview of cameras.
Donald Rumsfeld is introduced to the perceptions of a family from the planet Earth.
A penguin moves in with a puffin.
Three hours. Four channels. An alluringly tedious narrative that degenerated into utter confusion. And, still, no resolution. And it wasn’t much of a story to begin with.
I stumbled on this story as ineptly as many of the local anchors covered it, after watching Tuesday’s Dodgers game on Channel 9 (future Hall-of-Famer Greg Maddux’s debut in a Dodger uniform at home – he received a no-decision, by the way, as the Dodgers won their 11th straight, 4-2, over the Rockies). Channel 9 news picked up a police pursuit that had begun in Altadena and was venturing way up the North 5; it concluded, sort of, much later in an orchard north of Bakersfield.
Channel 9 was forced to abandon the story when its helicopter feed soon broke up (and they no doubt realized, by the looks of things, they’d have to follow it for God knows how long), about an hour after the pursuit began. But KTLA Channel 5 was still chasing the story, such as it was, with the pursuit featured in a box while other stories were reported, until, that is, the channel went to commercial at 10:40 p.m. and returned, the chase apparently forgotten.
Fox Channel 11 was still all about the story at that point, until, at least, its broadcast concluded at 11 p.m., at which point they kicked the story to sister station Channel 13, where news-babes Gina Silva and Maria Quiban delivered the, uh, “news� in red, physique-fitting tank tops. (Ladies, as alluring as you look, MTV is no longer hiring VJ's, so enough already with the audition tapes.)
At that point, the driver had abandoned the freeway and was wandering cluelessly through an orchard’s dirt roads for 20 minutes before finally bolting his car and taking it on the run. Unfortunately, just as the story was getting sort of amusing, at that point, that helicopter’s feed broke up, and suddenly, Channel 13 remembered that there had been a Senate primary in Connecticut on Tuesday, not to mention some Lindsay Lohan gossip to dish, a story about a guy who collects dead deer on roadsides (“Yuck!� was superimposed on the screen) and a story about cell phones for dogs (“Cool!� was superimposed on the screen).
So apparently, a news story is only a story as long as one’s satellite feed holds out. It turns out that chase, as dubious as it was in actual news value, may have been the third-most-newsworthy story in Channel 13’s entire hour of drivel-drenched coverage.
It was amusing to watch as the sundry channels’ anchors extemporaneously busked as the time wore on and it became quite apparent that there was no real news to report. One, discussing placing road spikes before speeding cars on open freeways, idiotically asked, “That’s still a dangerous job, isn’t it?�
At least one other newscaster mused melodramatically of the driver (and potential passengers), “Are they armed, and what are their motivations?�
Several times, when the police helicopter swooped beneath the newscopter, reporters felt obliged to observe, “That’s the helicopter right there.�
“It’s just a matter of time� before the driver got caught, just about every anchor repeated numerous times, no doubt trying to apply their mental powers to will the incident to end while they were still on the air. But they weren’t. No one was. The incident remained unresolved – and, more pointedly, unresolved without any anchor noting that fact or seeming to care – as the sundry newscasts went off the air.
What do you think? Are police pursuits genuinely engaging human drama, or a complete waste of hours upon hours of TV news time?
Albom previously wrote the treacly bestsellers “Tuesdays with Morrie� and “The Five People You Meet in Heaven.� Both books inspired ABC telefilms produced by Oprah Winfrey and, due to their sappy content, parody books (e.g., “The Five People You Meet in Hell�).
According to its promotional material, this latest opus concerns “a mother and a son, and a relationship that covers a lifetime and beyond. It explores the question: What would you do if you could spend one more day with a lost loved one?� Gak.
Albom will be reading at sundry coffeeshops across the country, as well, including one lucky location in L.A. So there’ll be no need to pour saccharine into your drink – there’ll be plenty in the store’s reading material.
I fear one of my beloved anti-institutions – Adult Swim, the anarchic late-night incarnation of Cartoon Network – is becoming a victim of its own success.
Part of Adult Swim’s charm was that its creators understood a basic, essential tenet – that Saturday-morning cartoons scarcely prepared their viewers for the brutal realities of real life. Hence, early AS entries such as “Space Ghost Coast to Coast,� “Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law,� “Aqua Teen Hunger Force� and “Sealab: 2021� posited their protagonists as utterly clueless idiots, caught unawares by life’s messiness, and suffering beyond all reasonable human measure because of it.
With utterly random, Dada-esque plotting and dialogue strewn with hilarious (or puzzling, or both) non sequiturs, Adult Swim shows transformed the detritus of TV’s inglorious past into a howitzer turned upon itself: Watch TV at your own peril, it warned; it’s crap, we’re crap, and, as Laurie Anderson once prophesized, we’re all going down together.
Adult Swim has already begun asserting itself on the culture at large – it’s inspired at least two ad campaigns, one in which a hipster SUV talks to a platypus and one in which two computer-game-playing hairballs banter about their latest virtual conquests.
It’s a fair measure of one’s hipness quotient that when the mainstream media begin co-opting your sensibility, it’s time to stick a fork in you – you’re done. (Note how a group linked to Exxon posted an ostensibly viral video mocking Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth� on YouTube.com. You rock, [pro-corporate] rebellion! Stick it to the man – er, yourself…?)
All this occurs to me with the debut of Adult Swim’s latest offering, “Metalocalypse� (premiering tonight at 11:45). “Metalocalypse� (I can barely type it, let alone pronounce it) concerns Dethklok, the world’s heaviest heavy-metal band, and, because of its deeply ingrained societal success, there are governmental agents charged with destroying them. The band’s epic idiocies recall “This is Spinal Tap� and Led Zeppelin’s “The Song Remains the Same� (in a future episode, the band decides to record an entire album underwater).
All well and good. Some of the one-liners here are funny enough, but … (and as a recent Adult Swim recruit, Pee-wee Herman, philosophizes, “Everyone has a big but�). Five years ago, it was genuinely funny when “Aqua Teen Hunger Force� found themselves engaged in a prosaic battle against Internet pop-ups, or when “Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law� was struggling in an internecine clash for office space while defending Yogi Bear’s sidekick Booboo against charges of terrorism.
But placing outsized characters in petty quarrels over the years has resulted in diminishing returns, and so, when Dethklok ventures, cataclysmically, into a grocery store to score some veggies, the joke has become pretty familiar. And the show, like Adult Swim’s recent botch-job “Minoriteam,� offers both lame visuals and rotten animation. So the joke is on who, exactly?
Besides, even shows aimed at kids, like “Spongebob Squarepants� and Cartoon Network’s own “Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends,� have co-opted Adult Swim’s penchant for nonlinear storylines and loopy dialogue.
So, even though Adult Swim has recruited talent such as “Mr. Show’s� Bob Odenkirk, “Ali G’s� Tommy Blancha and “The Boondocks’� Aaron Gruder, they’re simply allowing them to do sloppy, improvisatory work way beneath their genuine brilliance. (Fun fact: A quarter of a century ago, in a radio-production class, I created something very close to Odenkirk’s “Tom Goes to the Mayor:� “Zach’s Zoo� centered on an inept zookeeper who, week in and week out, would kill an animal through his ineptitude. The joke was that the audio would suggest for listeners far more horrible outcomes for Zach’s menagerie than any visuals could; the noise of a power drill in Ringo the Gibbon’s throat would be far more appalling in sound effects than anything a visual representation could manage. “Tom� attempts to assert the same levels of catastrophic societal incompetence – PETA, for one, would hate it – only adding gratuitous visuals.)
The point is, Adult Swim is a really fun, very naughty, outlet for political incorrectness. It simply, at this point, has to discover a point where it can remain cutting-edge, rather than abjuring to the mainstream’s notion of what constitutes rebellion.
Good news for the illiterate: Many of the new shows coming this fall don’t bother so much with all those troublesome words. A bunch focus on the numbers in their titles.
NBC alone has “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip,� “30 Rock� and “20 Good Years.� ABC adds “The Nine� (which, curiously enough, will air at 10 p.m. Wednesday) and “Six Degrees� (Kevin Bacon is not a cast member).
Add these to “Two and a Half Men,� “Nanny 911,� “7th Heaven,� “One Tree Hill,� “20/20,� “60 Minutes,� “48 Hours Mystery� and, of course, “24� and even “Numb3rs,� and you have a lineup that’s more a Sudoku puzzle than a network schedule.
“Saturday Night Live� creator and “30 Rock� executive producer Lorne Michaels thoughtfully offers a helpful hint in how to at least differentiate his show from “Studio 60:� “They are the hour show, and they have a ‘60’ in (the title), and we’re the half-hour show, and we have a ‘30’ in it. So I think people will be able to clearly distinguish which is which.�
Have you seen the oh-so-viral video of people putting Mentos mints in liter bottles of Coke to watch them spew fizzy liquid several feet in the air? If you had, you would better understand the origin of those sticky puddles left on the sidewalk by the bored kids who live next door to you.
The next episode of "Mythbusters" (9 p.m. PDT, Aug. 9, Discovery Channel) will perform the tremendous public service of explaining the reason for this reaction -- a clip which probably also will become a viral video on YouTube.com.
So DirecTV has hired Leonard Maltin to tout their pay-per-view movies. I’m loathe to pick on Maltin, as he’s one of the nicest people I’ve met in Los Angeles – and certainly, one of the most genial film critics in town – not to mention incredibly knowledgeable about all things Hollywood.
(Though seriously, can’t he share his workload with a few other people? With “Entertainment Tonight,� other TV appearances, his syndicated radio program, the perennially bestselling compendium of reviews, books of film history and magazine work, he’s the busiest man in show business, moreso even than Alan Nierob.)
But I think we can all see the problem here. Maltin’s a serious, legitimate critic, DirecTV wants people to shell out cash to see their pay-per-view flicks and some of them simply aren’t worth bothering with.
So Maltin has a thin line to tread here in providing recommendations for the movies listed in the above link. And Maltin’s diplomatic non-raves for a number of the films suggest his deep ambivalence. Herewith, his excerpted quotes for the pay-per-view lineup, followed by what likely was his next thought.
“Nanny McPhee:� “I think kids will eat this up.� … “and parents will vomit it back out.�
“October Sky:� “Celebrates the American can-do spirit.� … “in as hackneyed and klutzy a manner as is humanly possible.�
“The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio: “I encourage you to check out this sleeper of 2005.� … “because, after all, someone’s gotta see it, and it ain’t gonna be me.�
“Match Point:� “No apologies are necessary for this contemporary drama set in London.� … “but ticket refunds would certainly be in order.�
“The Family Stone:� “The kind of movie that belies my frequent observation that ‘they don't make 'em like that any more.’� … “and makes me wish they really didn’t make ’em like that, now or ever.�
“Glory Road:� “It doesn't seem to matter that you know how it's going to end. You still get caught up in the drama of the game.� … “if you’re an easily manipulated sop.�
“Shopgirl:� “A comedy of character and social observation.� … “and utter dramatic inertia.�
“The New World:� “I knew that this wouldn't be an ordinary rendering of the story of Captain John Smith and Pocahontas.� … “but I did expect it to be vaguely interesting, and, seriously, Colin Ferrell? Has Terrence Malick lost his mind? Wait – don’t answer that.�
“The Greatest Game Ever Played:� “A wonderful film that deserves to be discovered and enjoyed.� … “deserves it, but let’s face it, it ain’t ever gonna happen.�
“The End of Violence:� “There are moments in this movie that leave you with your jaw on the floor.� … “if one of the broadly drawn, violently unhinged characters in the movie actually enters your home and tears your jaw from your skull.�
“An Unfinished Life:� “A good-hearted film I'd recommend to anyone who appreciates great screen acting.� … “but not to anyone who likes competent scripting or even merely adequate direction.�
“Jarhead:� “If you know to expect something out of the ordinary, I think you'll appreciate the film as I did.� … “with a bottle of tequila.�
“Syriana:� “There is a lot to keep track of, but I wasn't confused. In fact, I was mesmerized.� … “by my utter incomprehension.�
“Last Holiday:� “Queen Latifah has a wonderful screen presence.� … “in some movies. Here? Don’t be silly.�
"One Ocean View," ABC's latest disastrous summer reality series, debuted last night to a viewership of 38 people. Well, give or take 3 million, but that's still an embarrassing, immediate-cancellation-worthy number. I was subjected to the inane chatter of the show in the background during TV press tour while working on another story, but even 10 percent attention paid to that show is enough to give one a thorough understanding of its trashiness, and is 10 percent too much attention paid to it.
It's another one of those concept-free series wrangling some feckless young adults with no personalities whatsoever beyond their monumental narcissism under one roof and letting the thoughtful discussions of Proust and the crisis in the Middle East begin. I mean, letting the preening and joyless flirting begin. One guy, boasting some serious self-delusion, actually declared at least twice during last night's episode that he gets better-looking every day. Why do producers insist on casting these shows with such self-aggrandizing twits? Is it really that difficult to coax someone with a modicum of intelligence and wit to appear on these things? Well, actually, probably.
Greg Hernandez of the Daily News examines the cost of public celebrity stupidity in today’s paper, niftily finding a way to sweep Suri-ously nutty Tom Cruise under the umbrella currently shadowing Mea-Culpa Mel and Looped Lindsay, but politely ignoring Britney Spears’ ongoing travails. (But she’s not a movie star, you argue? Have you seen “Crossroads?� Oh, you have? Well, OK.)
Not to diminish or trivialize the rancid vitriol spewed by Mad Mel early the other morning, but does it strike anyone as odd that when someone whose career consists a lot of shooting guns filled with blanks at other actors vomits forth a fusillade of hateful, alcohol-drenched invective, there are cries that he is no longer morally capable of shooting guns filled with blanks at other actors, yet when a presumably stone-cold sober political pundit slags the widows of men killed on Sept. 11 and cavalierly announces without providing any proof that a former U.S. President is gay, TV news divisions seem to have no problem with continuing to encourage her bile?
While Roger Ebert recovers from surgery, it has been announced that noted film historian Jay Leno will replace him in the balcony for a week on "Ebert & Roeper." Slacker auteur and noted visual stylist (ahem) Kevin Smith ("Clerks II") will follow him in the second week of Ebert's recuperation, with other people (including an actual critic or two) being considered for future installments.
A show about about movie criticism without any movie critics? Brilliant!
It's been apparent for quite some time that that show isn't about film criticism anymore. Bringing in Roeper, who isn't a film critic (but plays one on TV), was like having that weasly little Alan Colmes as the voice of the "left" on Fox News Channel's "Hannity and Colmes" -- it's simply intended to make ultraconservative Sean Hannity look better. And so Ebert's ego is assuaged because he's assured to look like he knows what he's talking about compared to his little sidekick.
Of course, if the big cheese and his ego are gone, no one's gonna watch Roeper flail about on his own. So naturally they have to tart it up with celebrities. Which, in the end, only serves to feed Ebert's ego (which, while bedridden, remains healthy) all the more: It takes someone with the stature of Jay Leno to replace Roger.
Those two big thumbs are up, all right -- someone's backside.
![ramona[1].jpg](http://www.insidesocal.com/babbleon/ramona%5B1%5D.jpg)
The brains behind "HGTV Design Star" deserve some points for letting common sense prevail and refusing to let way-out Ramona Jan become the Master P of their talent-search series. With the quirky Ramona eliminated in the first round, the remaining nine will get down to business in this Sunday's episode (9 p.m. Eastern and Pacific) by reworking a Long Island home that's been on the market for too long. Meanwhile Ramona, who cheerfully and shamelessly will transform anything not nailed down into "art," should explore opportunities in late-night cable access.
During virtually every TV Press Tour session, I felt as if I was experiencing deja vu, as everyone kept waxing philosophical about the importance of writing in what they're working on.
Now, I'm not suggesting that the folks quoted below are pathological liars and their shows are junk and they're just trying to make crap sound hifalutin; a number of the shows cited below are pretty good. But if actors really value fresh, original writing, don't you think they'd cook up something more provocative than these myriad clichéd variations on the same, tired theme?:
Brad Garrett, Fox’s “’Til Death:� “I read the pilot and I just loved the writing.�
Skeet Ulrich, CBS’s “Jericho:� “When you have good writing, it makes you, as an actor, think.�
Sally Field, ABC’s “Brothers & Sisters:� “This is a phenomenal group. Robbie Baitz is an extraordinary writer, and this kind of thing doesn’t happen very often….�
Ted Danson, ABC’s “Help Me Help You:� “My homework is to find the script and the writers that excite you and make you laugh and smile and all of that.�
Anne Heche, ABC’s “Men in Trees:� “This script came along, and I felt that it was so wonderful and such a great combination of humor and drama.�
Gale Harold, Fox’s “Vanished:� “…the chance to work with these guys, the quality of the writing…�
Jason Katims, NBC’s “Friday Night Lights:� “I can only speak to what draws me to the material. … the way Peter (Berg) wrote and directed it…�
John Lithgow, NBC’s “20 Good Years:� “That’s one thing I’ve always loved about this premise and the writing.�
Jeffrey Tambor, NBC’s “20 Good Years:� “The script really made me laugh. … My writer friend, he really hit it right out of the park. And it spoke to me and it’s true.�
Leslie Pope, CW’s “Runaway:� “I had great advice when I left ‘24’ from Stephen Hopkins who told me to follow the writing.�
Erika Christensen, ABC’s “Six Degrees:� “It comes right down to the script. … Artistically, that was really exciting to me.�
Victor Garber, Fox’s “Justice:� “What intrigued me was the script.�
Beth Lacke, Fox’s “Happy Hour:� “I think it’s so well-written. … It’s right there on the page.�
James Woods, CBS’s “Shark:� “…when Ian (Biederman, the show’s creator) gave me this remarkable script…�
Virginia Madsen, CBS’s “Smith:� “John (Wells, series creator) writes amazing stories for women on all his shows. There are really strong characters, much more so than on most of the features that I read.�
David Kronke, Los Angeles Daily News: "Writing sucks. At least mine does. But it pays the bills."
So, you want to see superheroes? Or do you want to see really cute girls in Spandex tights?
If you answer the latter, click here. Babes don't come any babier than when their skin is lasciviously laundered in Lycra.
Never has so much been written about so little.
Many of the critics I’ve spoken to during this summer’s TV Press Tour have groused that they’ve never worked harder during press tour than they have this year. Technology, of course, is responsible: Many of them were blogging nonstop or, as in my case, filing story after story for the online editions of their papers when, in the past, we’d only put the event in context for print subscribers. Several colleagues lamented that, in churning out all of this material, they’ve essentially been reduced to transcribers, not writers.
Which is ironic, since very little of substance emerges from the press sessions, just endless variations of “I really loved this script� and “It’s all about the work� and “Good material wins out� and “If a show is good, people will watch� (that last one has been disproved time and time again). So the idea that a couple hundred reporters are all making sure their readers know that Donnie Wahlberg thinks he’s perfect for his role in The CW’s lame new show “Runaway� because “I think what really I’m able to bring in the character is, I’m a parent� is both amusing and depressing in ways that if you have to have them explained to you, you must have stumbled upon this blog by accident or in a drunken stupor.
I’ve sort of kept up with what’s being written out there, and if Press Tour coverage is not of the “Hooray-for-Hollywood-this-is-going-to-be-the-best-TV-season-EVER� variety, it carries a wizened, cynical tone that’s likewise not conducive to much instructive content. At least one blog I glanced upon offered a detail-by-detail account of how transcripts are created during Press Tour, which is so inside-baseball that I can’t imagine anyone finding that interesting. Rather than mainstream readers, a lot of this stuff seems aimed more at fellow critics, who, of course, are too busy engorging their own endless blogs to have time to read others’.
Meanwhile, while this orgy of publicity was erupting in Pasadena, one presumes all these newspapers were paying equal amounts of attention to the pre-party to the apocalypse that they’re currently throwing in the Middle East.
The other complaint – and one that seems sort of more pressing, if you can erase the perspective issue I raised in the paragraph above – is that all these reporters are so busy feeding their respective monsters that they’re simply incapable of divining from one another any sense of perspective on the upcoming season. Simply put, critics aren’t gauging the temperatures of the upcoming season to achieve a sense of what’s truly transpiring. One might reasonably assume that groupspeak has been laudably eradicated, and to a certain extent, that’s true. But also, a cultural perspective has been eradicated, as well. It’s as if everyone has decided to celebrate Kobe Bryant because he scored 81 points in one game and have utterly ignored the day-in/day-out contributions of a more valuable player such as Elton Brand.
I personally have vaguely noted a Zeitgeist-y trend in the upcoming season’s new offerings – one I didn’t want to share with colleagues, lest they steal my (upcoming) story – but I didn’t sense, from the sundry press conferences, that anyone else had really picked up on it. (People I individually interviewed definitely had opinions on the matter, however.) I think this is more attributable to how exhausted everyone has become while covering this event than to my own insight.
As one colleague observed today, the phrase “labor-saving device� has disappeared from our lexicon. What has happened is that industries have learned how to use the conveniences of the new technologies to make their employees work even longer hours. And everyone with a job understands this; it’s a universal concern, scarcely unique to TV critics. What this means, in this – and only this – perspective is: TV critics are being deprived of being able to explain for viewers the context behind the creation of entertainment; no one has the time or space or inclination to explain what TV should mean to its viewers.
Admittedly, this trend is, in TV coverage, the least of our worries. But it’s something someone should opine in the broader nature of our culture. Context is king, no matter what journalists are covering, and saturated coverage of any event – be it a Presidential news conference or TV press tour – doesn’t necessarily result in better, more informed information for those who want to be in the know.
Today at TV Press Tour, the Fox network held a lunch themed around its reality show "Hell's Kitchen," with menu items purportedly from the recipes of the show's host and chef, Gordon Ramsay. Little cardboard cutouts of Ramsay dotted the tables.
Much later in the day, I wandered through the hall where lunch was held. Saw one of those mini-Ramsays crumpled on a table, its head torn off.
TMZ.com can be informative (court docs at your fingertips) and amusing (video of train wrecks like Brandon Davis), but it also crosses the bounds into the mindlessly tasteless from time to time. I want to wrap somebody's knuckles for today's pronouncement/poll on "Who's the Middle East Hottie?" It talks up Bill Hemmer, above right, of Fox News, Richard Engel, left, of NBC, and Anderson Cooper, below right, of CNN and how cool they look in their flak jackets.