March 2010 Archives

Since before I was engaged, my fiance said he wanted to be married in the Catholic church. So when it came to planning, since I am not Catholic, I left the ceremony details to him. 

Since my fiance has been teaching at a Catholic school for many years and he really wanted to look into having the ceremony at the school church. At the moment though, the church has an interim pastor and after months of procrastination, my fiance finally asked if the interim pastor could perform the service there. Unfortunately, our Friday ceremony would not work there so, on to the second choice.

Our second choice was the local church that my fiance and his family have been a part of as he was growing up. I have been there a few times for special services with his family. It's a nice church and has been a part of the community for many years.

Because of how things went the last time, I decided to involve myself more in the ceremony planning with my fiance.

As I mentioned, I am not Catholic, and was not baptized so I was a little new as to what is required to be married at the church. I must admit I was a little nervous at first because of the fact that I am not baptized, but many churches are open and welcoming.

So, first my fiance has to get all his paperwork in order. Since he is Catholic, the father asked for him to get a new copy of his baptismal certificate, his first communion and confirmation papers also.

Luckily, he had all those things done at that church so if he couldn't find any paperwork, it has to be in a file there somewhere.

We are now waiting for the next step. To see what else is required, such as pre-marital counseling, and for how long. We are cutting it pretty close since when we first called the church, they said they ask for six months in advance to be married there. If everything works out right, it is a beautiful church and l would be happy to be married there.

I know no matter what happens though, my fiance has been very understanding and flexible about having the ceremony outside of the church. We just have to wait and see.

I must admit, I am a little nervous about meeting with the pastor and curious about the kind of counseling we need to do.

To married readers: Did you have to do any counseling sessions before getting married? What did you think about them?

With a budget established and an estimated guest count in order, we decided to see about having our ceremony at the Catholic church of the school where my fiance teaches and I began scouting reception venues. I looked at the San Gabriel Valley and Whittier areas since we didn't want to go too far from the church and from where our parents live. It would also help with transportation costs.

With a theme in mind and the idea of a semi-formal wedding, I first set out to look for a location that had both an indoor area for dinner with access to an outdoor area, like a patio or balcony overlooking green grounds or valley and mountains.

Since a close friend offered to cater the reception, we just had to find a reasonably priced location that fit 250 people for dining and dancing and allowed outside catering, I knew it wouldn't be quick and easy but boy, I didn't realize how frustrating it can be.

Not having much luck finding a big enough venue to allow us to bring our own catering, we decided to expand our search to places that have reasonable prices for their catering.

The first place we visited Luminaria's in Monterey Park. Being on top of a hill above the 710 and 10 freeways, it had a great view of the Downtown L.A. skyline and being a Mexican restaurant, it had a great feel and decorations that I was looking for.

They did allow outside catering with certain conditions but also catered for about $30 a person. We were hoping to make that a lower number per person but if I loved the venue and the view, I was willing to work it out somehow.

The outside and entrance of the restaurant was perfect. The ballrooms, were a different story. The smaller one had low ceilings and paintings in intervals along the walls, nice and cozy, but I knew would not fit our guests comfortably.

The second ballroom was larger, had high ceilings and floor-to-ceiling windows along the back and side walls that had an awesome view of the surroundings and the skyline but aside from that was pretty plain and not fitting with the theme I had in mind. It would need a lot more decorations to make my theme work and that would mean more money. Sadly, Luminaria's wasn't going to work.

I had my eye on a few other great places that would kind of fit our budget but either they weren't available for the date I wanted or would also need us to shell out more for rentals or decorations.

Usually a patient person, this reception venue search was really testing my limits.

I was ready to give up when my MOH (maid of honor) found a great spot that has our date, allows outside catering on a Friday evening and is in a nice proximity to the ceremony site and our parent's homes.

It had probably been about 5 years or more since I had been to Memories in Uptown Whittier. I believe I was there to see a friend's speed metal band play. What I remembered - dark, old and cold - did not make me think of wedding reception, but I gave it a chance and checked out the website.

First, I didn't know the hall had an upstairs room as well. Second, they definitely had done som remodeling since I was last there. The paint looked nicer, the lighting was nice and even though it didn't have an outdoor area, I imagined my theme would suit just nice here.

I set up a time with the owner John, to see it with my fiance and MOH. The downstairs area has a long, shoe-horse shaped bar, cushiony booths along the walls and a nice stage and dancefloor. It didn't fit 250 for dinner but I liked it.

The upstairs has really high ceilings, the walls were painted and decorated to give it a nice classic, older-building feel with a few spots showing exposed brick to give it an authentic feel. There are also booths along both sides of the wall and a nice center stage at the back. There was a large dance floor right in the middle.

Once I heard the price, we were just about sold. I jotted down all the information about venue rental pricing, non-alcoholic beverages, bar prices, etc... so I could look over later and crunch some numbers before deciding.

Though Memories does allow outside catering on Friday evenings, they also have a caterer that serves as the house caterer for all Saturday events and can also be available for events on other days, I asked the price - starting at $10 per person for buffet. Wow! I thought, that's pretty good but we already have a caterer.

Our caterer would have to provide the dinner and flatware, clean-up, cake cutting, champagne serving, and the list went on. Again that seemed like more costs to us. Their caterer would provide the dinner and flatware and clean-up for free, and the cake-cutting and champagne serving at a small fee.

But it was the deal John made us that had us sold on using their caterer - venue rental cost at half price if their caterer is hired. After I crunched the numbers, the convenience and price of using their caterer outweighed using our own, so we called up John to get a tasting of the food offered before making the final decision.

The caterer offered a Mexican buffet, which is exactly what we were looking for. We tried the chicken fajitas - juicy, tasty, and filling - the decision wasn't too hard after that.

What we loved about working with the caterer and John was their willingness to work with us on adding things and having options. It definitely put me at ease. Saving money by getting the venue at half price with the caterer there, I couldn't help but want to splurge a little. I reserved both the upstairs and downstairs rooms.

I figured we could make it a little more updated by havin a cocktail hour downstairs, then dinner upstairs followed by dancing back downstairs. That way there's a slightly different feel to each part of the reception and we would not be so crowded. And we still got both for less than just the upstairs would cost if we brought in our own caterer.

The key here was being open to different venues and willing to step away from my original idea. And having the best MOH ever is a plus!

While still working on getting details down about the ceremony site, it's also nice to know we can have it in the downstairs room, if need be. Always got to have a back-up plan.

A quinceañera is a Hispanic tradition celebrating a young girl's coming of age - or becoming a young woman - on her 15th birthday. 'Quince' translates to fifteen in Spanish.

Many traditional quinceañera's consist of a religious ceremony followed by a reception with food and music, and may also include a choreographed waltz or dance performed by the quinceañera and her court.

A court, usually consists of friends or family members, typically around the same age as the quinceañera, a.k.a., the birthday girl, and chosen by her.

The court can be all girls or 'damas', all boys or 'chambelan' or 'galan', or a combination of both. The quinceañera celebration is formal with the birthday girl traditionally dressed in a ball gown. The court is also dressed in gowns or tuxedos.

There are also 'padrinos' or 'padrinas', who traditionally are like godparents of the quinceañera. They help with gifts or in planning the celebration by being sponsors of the cake, flowers, invitations, etc. They can be family members or close friends of the family.

There are many traditions for a quinceañera celebration. One is the last doll, or muñeca, that is presented to the birthday girl during the ceremony as a decoration or keepsake. The doll can represent the last things of a child now that the quinceañera will become a lady and not have much use for child things.

Another tradition is the changing of the shoes, where typically the quinceañera's father ceremoniously changes the young girl's flat shoes to heels, symbolizing the transformation from a little girl to a young lady.

Other traditions include a presentation of a tiara, a ceremony pillow used in the religious ceremony, and decorated champagne glasses to toast to the quinceañera, to congratulate her on the transition and best wishes.

If all this sounds familiar, quinceañeras have been compared for years to weddings because of all the similar details - gown, cake, reception, invitations, favors, etc. Some can be like mini-weddings without the mini budget.

I haven't decided if I will hire a professional videographer for my wedding yet, it just doesn't seem to be in my budget. I was thinking I would just invest in a nice DVD camcorder and have a family or friend record the ceremony with a tripod and the reception may just be pictures or handheld camcorder action. I'm more interested in capturing the ceremony anyway.

While researching videographers for your event, be sure to ask what is included. For weddings for example, some couples may want a same-day edit, where the videographer will put together a quick edited version of the ceremony to play back for guests during the reception. This may be extra or see if a vendor can toss that in a package.

Be sure to give a videographer, the same as you would with a photographer, any specific moments you would like captured or be sure to express the kind of feel you would like your video to be, so that the end result is just what you imagined.

Some videographers may also be willing to work with those on a low budget by providing an unedited video of what they shot and the customer can return to them, when they can afford it, and have their raw footage edited more to their liking.

Check out this video shot by Impressive Creations at the Festival of Brides, the Upscale Bridal Show held at the Langham Huntington in Pasadena in February: http://vimeo.com/9410181

Before deciding on a wedding date or even on a location, couples should first figure out who is paying for the wedding and what kind of wedding they want.
Not only will this help a couple determine their budget and whether their wedding will be an intimate affair or a grand celebration, but it will be a good way to see how well they can make decisions together.

The national average cost of a wedding is $27,000, according to recent reports. And though that average is slipping mainly due to the recent economic woes, a wedding can still be a pricey affair. To get a better idea of the average cost of a wedding in your area, visit www.costofwedding.com and type in your zip code. Keep in mind, these averages don't include the honeymoon.

Though the tradition is for the bride's parents to foot the bill, it is becoming more common for all parties involved to contribute, or as couples marry later in their life, they are able to handle the financing of their wedding on their own.

Many couples are opting for destination weddings to locations that offer all-inclusive packages (plus you can enjoy your honeymoon right away). Other couples are going for more intimate celebrations with just immediate family and a small number of friends, to bring cost down. But many couples still are getting creative with ways to save here and there,and still get the wedding they are happy with.

The Knot.com has a great budget tool that breaks down how much is usually spent on everything from the food to jewelry and more. Always round way up when calculating costs. You should always have a contingency fund should any last-minute finances arise, and when not planned for, they usually do.

Money and financial issues are the main cause for conflicts in a marriage and can lead to divorce. Starting your lives together on good financial footing will make the road ahead a little easier. The golden rule of honesty definitely applies in this area - be open. Be sure to keep in mind as you decide on all the little details of your wedding and discuss cost - is this worth going into debt for?

I knew I wanted to keep my wedding budget low, but I also wanted to realistic. My fiance's family is large and very close, so keeping costs down by having a short guest list was just not going to be possible.

With a guest list of 250 people, I knew the majority of our budget was going to food, drinks and the reception venue. So, where to cut?

First, I wasn't looking to be a princess or queen on my wedding day so I didn't need a big ballgown. I was happy to look through the sale rack at David's Bridal. (And I found the perfect dress on sale - more on that later).

We also decided it wasn't necessary to have a 4- or 5-tier cake, so we're going to just have a simple, tasty and still elegant 2-tier cake for the cake cutting ceremony and our guests will be served from sheet cake, that will be secretly kept away in the kitchen.

Although I am not a regular Martha Stewart, I am a quick learner and I have an army of bridesmaids and family to help with my DIY projects. I recently picked up a copy of Martha Stewart weddings magazine and was surprised to find I had many of the same ideas for my wedding featured in the magazine - crafty minds think alike. 

Once you start talking to vendors and getting ideas of prices, don't be discouraged. Great vendors now are willing to work with any budget, small or large. Be sure to get references and have a contract.

And don't be too embarrassed to sign up for giveaways, not all are scams or a marketing ploy to get you to spend more, there are many that are legit and free - just read the fine print - you never know what you could win.

Once you have figured out the budget and guest list, and are looking for vendors and venues, try to stay away from season months (May to September) or a Friday or Sunday wedding date, when the costs can go way down. Having the ceremony and reception at the same venue will not only save money with package deals but also with transportation costs, as well as give you more time with your guests.

If you're not into having a big party, a cocktail or dessert reception can be just as elegant and memorable at a fraction of the cost of a sit-down dinner.

By being creative with your resources and wedding ideas, you can find different ways to cut costs and still make your day uniquely yours.

Though, it can be stressful at times, people always say to remember that it should be a fun time planning your wedding - I'm still working on reminding myself that everytime we hit a snag, but my key to de-stressing is my family and friends, they are my support system and they let me vent. I also keep in mind not to fret about every detail, if at the end of all this, we are happily married, then my dream wedding has come true. 

Did any of you catch the first Bachelor wedding on ABC last night? The Bachelor or Bachelorette is not a show I usually watch but I do catch up with highlights of the show on the morning news show and who could forget Jason Mesnick. First, his sadly sobbing balcony moment during the show was played on all the talk shows and youtube over and over and over again. Poor fella.

But after his good cry he made his decision and chose Melissa Rycroft in the show finale, only to drop the biggest bombshell in the show's history on her at the reunion show, by telling her he changed his mind and actually wants to be with Molly Malaney, the woman he originally rejected on the show's finale.

Of course, Melissa moved on and made her own happy ending. First appearing on Dancing with the Stars and then had her own dream wedding in Mexico to Tye Strickland, whom she dated and broke up with before appearing on the Bachelor.

This is the first wedding of the Bachelor's history. Trista and Ryan Sutter were the first wedding for the Bachelorette back in 2004.

I took a little break from my wedding planning to see if I can get any inspiration from this lavishly-laid out wedding.

Of course it was filmed earlier and much was edited, but a lot of it still felt too staged to me. The only thing you couldn't plan for was the rain - see for yourself here. Odd, how there was enough forethought to have umbrellas for the guests but not the couple. Even former American Idol contestant Jason Castro seemed sheltered from the rain as he performed during the ceremony. Guess, the producers thought this would all make for great television.

At one time in the show, Molly complained about being a little tired from planning and hanging out with family but I mostly saw the wedding planner doing all the planning. A tame bachelorette party and rehearsal dinner, and oh the insanity of having to pick out your dream custom Monique Lhuillier wedding dress - that would absolutely drain all the life out of any bride (yes, that was sarcasm people).

If Molly was actually doing the planning, this would be more like the Bridezilla show than this ABC-produced affair.

Coincidentally, a bridal show was set for the first weekend of January, soon after my engagement. It sounded like it would be fun and informative, so I rounded up my posse - mom, sister and best friend, aka. maid of honor (MOH)- and headed to the Great Bridal Expo at the Anaheim Hilton.

Although I registered in advance, the line just to get into the expo was about 20 minutes long, and the registration staff was a little confused as to how to direct the guests in. My MOH pointed out to me that they looked like models. As I looked at each of them, they did look unusually thin, all with a lot of makeup and their hair in similar updo's. When the bridal fashion show began later, it was confirmed, they were the same model-looking girls at the registration booth. What a way to save money.

  As soon as I stepped into the expo space, there were so many vendors but I tried taking my time to stop at each one to see what they had to offer. There was everything from bridal fashion to cake tasting and honeymoon ideas.

I soon learned my easy-does-it plan wasn't quite working out. My posse kept splitting up around me and I was being pulled from one booth to another so quick it was a blur. They were more excited than I was.

The vendors I did get a chance to talk to for a bit had a lot of information about their services and what they had to offer, but they weren't as eager to talk prices at the expo. Not very helpful for this budget-minded bride. Almost each of them had the same thing to say "We personalize our packages for each couple."

Although it was an overload of some necessary, and many unnecessary, information, it did help me get an idea of what I will be dealing with for the coming months as I work out all the wedding details. And it gave me insight into how much my family and friends want to be involved in the process as well.

I know many details will ultimately be my decision, I mean my fiance and mine's decision, but it's nice to know they feel vested in this too. I am not alone.

I have since been to two other bridal shows - mostly for business (visit the Rose blog for the Upscale Bridal Show at the Langham), but also for pleasure. They each had something unique to offer and I have enjoyed spending time with friends and family at each.

As you start attending bridal shows or registering at wedding sites, prepare for your inbox and mailbox to get inundated with offers and emails from many vendors. To stay more organized, consider creating a separate email account (ie. jackandjillwedding@....) for all the wedding related items.

As bridal or party planning shows come up in the San Gabriel Valley, I will try to post them here. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to email them to me at claudia.palma@sgvn.com.

Upcoming local shows:

Mountain Meadows Country Club Bridal Show, 1875 Fairplex Drive, Pomona - 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., Sunday, March 7. Hors d'oevres, champagne and door prizes. Free parking and admission. More information at 909-620-9037.

Bride World Expo, Pasadena Convention Center, 300 E. Green St. - 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, March 14. Brides receive bridal magazines, shopping bag, coupons and a free wedding planner workbook. 125 wedding vendors and a honeymoon prize to be awarded. $10 admission. More information and pre-register online at www.brideworld.com or call 800-600-7080.

Again, since I am new to planning a wedding, I looked to many media outlets to inspire and help me during the process.

I must admit that I was obsessed with some wedding shows before my engagement - Bridezillas and My Fair Wedding with David Tutera on WEtv. They were great for knowing what not to do, or what to avoid, so as not to become a "bridezilla," and Tutera was great to watch as he transformed everyday couple's weddings into unforgettably unique and classy events.

Of course, another place I headed to first was the world-wide-web. Oh. my. lord. Just after a few hours of surfing, I was in wedding search overload. Many sites were helpful but some just made my head spin more.

One of my favorites so far are www.theknot.com, which has a great tool where you can serach for vendors by what type of service offered, location, price, and more. It also has a great wedding checklist that definitely helps the newbies - like me.

Yes, the list can seem long and you may not even have 12 months but relax. Remember a checklist is just a guide and not everything on it applies to every bride or couple. Also, you can adjust the time schedule to however many months (or years) you have to plan. (I just have nine but am making it work for me!)

As far as magazines, the ones I got the most inspiration from are Brides, the knot (yes also a mag), Ceremony is beautiful with lots of pictures, and surprisingly Latino Bride and Groom, a SGV-based magazine has a great vendor guide in the back, www.getmarried.com just launched their print version of their online guide. The magazine has great pictures and ideas for all kinds of brides.

Next time: My first bridal show.

Luckily for my fiance and I, the holidays set the perfect stage for announcing and celebrating our recent engagement. And the fact that my fiance had already hinted to his family, my family, friends and just about everyone close to us, that he would be proposing, there wasn't much to announce really.

The very next day after getting engaged, as we have done traditionally every year we have been together, we headed to my future in-laws house for Christmas Day festivities.

There was much love from everyone there and unexpected to me, the questions began:

"When are you thinking of getting married? Where will the wedding be? Have you thought about dresses? What kind of wedding do you want?"

I had no answers. One, I was still basking in the proposal afterglow (and cold medicine) and hadn't moved into planning mode, and second, I had never imagined what my wedding would be like.

Although, I always loved the idea of being married, I was not the kind of girl who had imagined and dreamed what every detail of their wedding day would be since they were able to walk.

As a child, whenever I played with my brothers and neighbors, I skipped the wedding completely and headed straight to playing house - cooking and cleaning, (Cooking? Cleaning? I don't know what I was thinking then at 7-years-old).

But alas, I had plenty of friends and family at the ready to help me with the planning, especially since they had experience and were more prepared than I, and maybe even some family had been planning for this for years.

In between ham and pumpkin pie, I was getting help with what needed to be done to prepare for such an event. My best friend had also given me two bridal magazines for Christmas, and my future sister-in-laws helped me get started on looking for "the dress".

Not realizing how many things I had to think about to plan a wedding, I was glad to have my army of wedding planners at my side.

As I do research on the web and in magazines for my wedding, I know it can be overwhelming how many vendors there are in this industry and it can be overwhelming. You don't have to be a party or wedding planning expert, but you should still be a savvy and alert consumer.

Check this story out about hundreds of people and businesses getting duped out of thousands of dollars by scammers feeding on this particular industry:

"Fake bridal show in Boston defrauds thousands"

I know these were very good scam artists to fool so many people, but there is much one can do to prevent something like this. Always look for references or reviews for any shows or vendors you look into.

There are many blogs and sites out there with real brides sharing their experiences, don't be afraid to reach out.

My fiance and I have known each other for almost 16 years now, been a couple for over 10 years, altogether (we had a little break in between), and living together for over a year, so it was to no one's surprise that the proposal was coming.

Although we had talked about marriage before, and I had been dreaming of when the day would come, when the day actually came, it was a complete, sweet surprise for me. And I have some silly infection to thank for that.

The year was coming to a close and I had been secretly thinking that maybe I would have to wait until the coming year to be engaged (at 31, I wasn't feeling any younger), so I just tried to focus on the pending Christmas holidays.

I was enjoying the tree decorating, gift wrapping, and baking lots and lots of cookies and goodies to give away for Christmas. Then, what started as allergy-like symptoms grew to a full sinus and bronchial infection in less than a week. I was a mess - major sinus problems and aches.

Not being able to sleep and on over-the-counter medication all week leading up to Christmas Eve, I didn't feel like myself and it was difficult to get in the holiday spirit, but I didn't want to miss one of my favorite holidays, so I rested as much as I could and overloaded on OTC cold medicine.

I rested as much as I could for a couple days before Christmas Eve, staying in bed for almost the entire day (I can't stand laying still for too long), and it paid off. The sinus pressure was better and I had enough energy to get up and do a little last-minute shopping the morning of Christmas Eve with my mom and sisters. I was done shopping but honestly wanted any excuse to get out of the house.

It's been tradition to spend Christmas Eve at my mom's house but since I was ill she suggested I stay home to keep resting. She was right but since I knew I was going to miss being with family I invited them to at least stay for dinner, which my personal chef boyfriend was cooking. She gracefully declined and said I really should rest. I thought it odd, but just accepted that it was just going to be the three of us at home on Christmas Eve - boyfriend, me and the cat.

I dressed up a little to get more into the spirit. We enjoyed the delicious eats created and after, my boyfriend suggested we take pictures in front of the Christmas tree, a tradition we began together a couple years back.

I thought sure, I can't look that bad. I tried to position my digital camera to get a good shot of us and the tree but I was taking a little longer than my boyfriend expected. Finally, after the second shot, and after he was tired of sitting on his knees for almost ten minutes, we thought it was good enough and got up.

I got up first and he asked for me to help him up, so I reached my hand down for his but as his left arm swung from behind towards mine I saw he was holding a white box. In a matter of five seconds I went from confused to shock as I realized what kind of box it was - a ring box.

I had an 'Oh-my-God' moment as his words blurred through my ears. I threw a big smile right back at his wide-grin and said 'Yes' and we hugged.

I didn't want to let go but he was so eager to get the ring on. I completely forgot about it. As I looked at it, I knew someone else knew about the proposal before I did. (I found out later, there was apparently more than just one person who knew - more on that later.)

I love my fiance but he's not the best gift shopper and I knew as I stared at the beautiful blue sapphire in the middle of the ring as it slipped so perfectly on, that he had help. But I loved him even more for that.

The fact that he wanted me to have a ring I would love and actually reached out to someone else for help is a big thing for him - so it made it even more special. (Thanks BFF!)

Needless to say, despite the infection and the trip to urgent care, it was the best Christmas ever!

Next up: The announcement and the planning - (in soap-opera dramatic fashion) DUNDUNDUN!!