News: USC heads to Ohio State to face the Buckeyes with their lad at quarterback amid the show.
Muse: I've been to a lot of big-time college stadiums, and Ohip State's concrete mass is far less intimidating than places like Nebraska, Oklahoma, Michigan, Georgia or Tennessee, to name a few. Heck, I once found BYU's fan base unnerving, but chalked it up to Utah's reticence to sell liquor.
So as long as Matt Barkley doesn't suddenly realize he's 18, and as long as USC brings its running game and speed on defense with them, I think they'll beat the Buckeyes. Plus, how do you take a program seriously whose mascot is a tree?
News: UCLA faces Clockwork Orange.
Muse: Now Neyland Stadium, that's a place where the locals can have an impact on an opponent. When I factor in UCLA still being a work in progress alongside last year's upset of the Vols and Lane Kiffin's ambition to make a statement, I see bad things for the Bruins. Even with the Vols at low ebb under Phil Fullmer, you know they have talent on their roster.
News: South African runner Caster Semenya reportedly flunked her sex test.
Muse: Flunk, as in proving that she's not all female. Wire reports say the test she took to please the track and field gods shows that she does not have ovaries and has internal male organs. Tough situation for the runner and no one can say she's cheating.
All I know is that Bud Selig would ignore the issue for five years and then blame the union.
Oh, and Shawne Merriman would like an introduction.
I'm here all week. Please tip your waitresses.
