Listen to what I say, not to what I didn’t do

The economy is in the dumper, and the one candidate for president who went on record as saying he doesn’t know much about the economy is coming out of this crisis smelling like a rose. That Old Spice works everytime.Yesterday, John McCain gave the Barack Obama campaign a gift when he said “the fundamentals of our economy are storng.” Later that same day, McCain was re-programmed and quickly covered up that badly phrased statement with this rephrasing: by the fundamentals, I mean the American worker. Obviously workers who are successful at pulling the wool over our eyes. Which would mean McCain’s speechwriters.

Those same speechwriters must’ve pulled an all-nighter because on Tuesday Johnny Mac was back on the stump as Mr. Populist: He’s gonna round up the usual suspects on Wall Street and “make them famous; you will know their names.” Are you listening, Gordon Gekko?

Obama himself hasn’t convinced voters that he’s “The One” to lead us out of economy hell just because he’s a Democrat. The phrases “it’s the economy, stupid” and “are you better off now than you were four years ago” are played, but that doesn’t stop the news media from reguritating them everytime the Dow plummets. Anyway, at least we’ve got the candidates talking specifics instead of holding us hostage with the sleaze-onomics of the past few weeks.

Obama could use a slogan to drive home how out of touch the GOP is on the economy. Here’s a few that would probably make his (Obama’s) campaign bankrupt:

1. “We Won’t Get Fooled Again.” The title of a song by The Who has a catchy melody and the words fit (“meet the new boss, same as the old boss”) but the GOP would quickly turn this one around on Obama, saying something nasty like that was the song Obama was listening to when he experimented with cocaine.

2. “It’s an economic storm, and John McCain has stocked up on sunblock.” This one would rile the GOP base, chastizing Obama for making light of McCain’s skin cancer.

3. “Wake up and smell the new day.” This not only sounds like a bad Hallmark greeting card, but I think it is a bad Hallmark greeting card.

4. “John McCain can’t even change his mind.” Not good, since Republicans “evolve” and Democrats “flip-flop.”

5. “John McCain: He’s not worried about having roofs over his head.” That’s so last month, when McCain couldn’t recall how many houses he owned.

6. “This dud’s for you!” It would probably get the juicer vote — but they’re not a demographic, as far as we know.

7. “From the people who called you a nation of whiners.” This will remind people that they were insulted. But voters don’t like to be reminded that they were insulted — it only makes then angrier at the person who reminds them.

8.”Herbert Hoover with a war record.” This one’s tough and gets to the psyche of the man. But voters will probably end up thinking, “Did the Hanoi Hilton have vacuum cleaners?”

Truth is Obama can come up with a great slogan, but he’s not likely to close the deal. Not as long ascolor blindness is so vivid in some sectors of America. And the GOP doesn’t have to waste a breath making a slogan out of that.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE SLEAZY WHEN….

The Truth Squad has a new commander. Karl Rove. Karl Rove? This guy has slime in his veins.While his head was spinning around and he was spewing pea soup, the architect from Fox hell even told the McCain campaign to ease up on the sleaze. This from the man who has proven you can fool all of the people all of the time.

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