The most famous celebrity in the world rubbed elbows and collected cash at a fundraiser from those loveable liberals at a fundraiser in Hollywood. Barbra Streisand crooned, Jamie Lee Curtis swooned, Will Ferrell bufooned. Not to be overshadowed, John McCain shared a bucket of KFC with Wilford Brimley. Then McCain got all snarky and slammed Obama for not caring about the economy or working class families because he was sweet-talkin’ the rich and famous liberal anti-Jesus, pro-gay, gun-hating, baby-killing elitists in Hollyweird who blame the financial meltdown on global warming.
Babs was the hostess with the mostest. Here’s a take on how the Beverly Hills premiere event might have been scripted:
Babs: You know, when I think of Barack, I can’t help but feel that all of us are {sings} “the luckiest people in the world.” When I see John McCain, oy!, it’s {sings}”The Way We Were.” And that running mate of his is a “Funny Girl” and when she first burst upon the scene it was like “A Star is Born.” But ever since this “Yentl” has made the public go completely mental.
Barack is my “Prince of Tides” who goes with the flow. A champion who will fight for Americans every day like each day was “The Main Event.” John McCain is not the same man he was 8 years ago. He’s like two different people. When he gets up in the morning to shave, he notices “The Mirror has Two Faces.” {sings} “So I support Barack/even though when he beat Hillary it came as quite a shock. But you’re “The One” we’ve been waiting for/the country can’t stand the same for four more. A change has got to come — for all, not just some./ America is starving for leadership — they can’t live on crust of bread and such/Can you believe there’s money here tonight that Spielberg hasn’t touched?”
Babs introduces Obama.
Obama: Thank you, Barbra. Doesn’t she look and sound great? Wow. The last time I saw this many celebrities was in a negative ad about me by the McCain campaign. I’m only here tonightbecause Michelle wanted Leo DiCaprio’s autograph. That and Chuck Norris canceled his class on charisma.
I know I’m going to take some lumps for going Hollywood — like Karl Rove calling me an elitist. You know, I’m the guy at a country club with the best-looking girl on one arm and a martini inmy hand. Let me tell you, if I was at a country club where Karl Rove was a member, people would take one look at me and order martinis. I appreciate the donations. It was a tough call, I know. Give my campaign $9 million or use it for CGI effects on another sequel to a disaster movie. Good call, because disaster movies are outdated since the policies of Bush-Cheney-McCain have offered the real thing for the last 8 years.
Speaking of my opponent, he’s trying out for a new role — Democrat. He’s reading from my script. And apparently he has hidden talents — one of his staffers said he invented the blackberry. John McCain? He still believes e-mail is a trend. You know, he takes me on for being a celebrity — but he’sappeared in more movies that I have. And he obviously wants to be Hollywood hip — why else would he choose his running mate “American Idol”-style? Turns out she’s becoming more of a draw than he is. So I guess I’m probably going to have to run against her, too. She canattack me all she wants. I’ll have one statement in response to whatever she has to say: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
PREACHING TO THE CHOIR
Democrats, for the upteenth time — stop campaigning in Hollywood; especially Beverly Hills. They got your message. They’re writing songs about it. The rest of the country hates Hollywood. Sure, they’ll pay money to be entertained — butit irks them whenpeople that have it made tell people who don’t what to do. OK, so you were in Hollywood to raise $9 million for your campaign — during the same weekWall Street took a nose-dive. It comes across like politics meets the casting couch.
In any event, look for a variation of this McCain ad real soon:
“While the nation’s economy took major hits this week, where was “The One?” Not on Wall Street, but Easy Street. He was collecting money from the Hollywood establishment. He doesn’t care about America’s hard-working people. Barack Obama: Celebrity first.”
Ain’t it weird what passes for entertainment, goombahs?
