Bill and Barack's excellent adventure

The two heavyweights of the Democratic Party are finally going to have a sit down for the Big Pow Wow to talk strategy -- as well as to dress the wounds of bruised egos.

Since there's no way to be a fly on the wall, it's left to a slightly off-kilter imagination as to what will transpire. So imagine, if you will, the meeting beginning like the opening sequence of a popular movie from the 1970s about a powerful patriarch and his "family."

Obama: I believe in America. Freedom. Honor. Family. The Obama girls. And I believe in change. But lately, my message has been co-opted by my enemies. The change mantra is no longer mine. I feel like Little Richard must have when Pat Boone covered his "Tutti Fruitti" and had a bigger hit with it. So I said, I must go to President Clinton for guidance.

Bubba: We've known each other for a while, but this is the first time since you clinched the nomination that you've come to me for counsel. Why didn't you come to me first?

Obama: I was concerned about the diversion. I wanted to be my own candidate. I thought you'd hit on Michelle.

Bubba: You never invited Hillary on to the ticket. But let's be frank here, you never wanted my friendship. You were afraid I'd be an embarassment.

Obama: You're likeable enough, Bill.

Bubba: I understand, you found paradise in the primaries, got a lot of votes, tons of money to back you. You didn't need me. Now you say, Mr. President, give me direction. What did I do for you to treat me with such disrespect? You don't even think to call me Bubba. If you'd come to me in friendship earlier, then this, Republican, would be down for the count today. And if by chance an honest man like yourself would continue to make enemies, they would be my enemies -- and then they will fear you.

Obama: Be my friend, Bubba?

Bubba: Excellent! Some day -- and that day may never come -- I'll ask you to do me a favor.

Obama: Help out more with Hillary's debt?

Bubba: That's a start. Let's eat.

Obama: I don't do fried foods. Neither do you anymore, right?

Bubba: You would think. But sometimes there are offerings I can't refuse.

THE "L" WORD

The GOP is slamming Democrats with an "L" word again. No, not "liberal." This time it's "lipstick." The latest firestorm -- and distraction from the real issues -- is Obama using the phrase "lipstick on a pig" to describe McPalin stealing his thunder on being change agents. The GOP iscalling his statement sexist, claiming he was referring to VP candidate Sarah Palin. Sexist? When did the GOP become so sensitive? This is the party of law and order, communist bashing and fear-mongering.What's next, Karl Rove screeching "Shame on you, Barack Obama!" Never mind Palin used the phrase lipstick on a pitbull in her acceptance speech. And McCain used the phrase "lipstick on a pig" during the primary when the subject was Hillary Clinton's health care policies.

Fox Swoons is moving full boar to aid the McPalin ticket in drumming up even more intolerance against Obama. Seriously, is that possible? Can't we all just kiss and make up?

LIGHTS, CAMERAS, ACTION FIGURES

Ah, American ingenuity and free enterprise. There's already Sarah Palin action figures. One of them has her in a schoolgirl uniform and another dressed in black with a gun strapped to her leg. Who are they marketing this stuff to -- pervs with NRA memberships? Not to be outdone, the Dems are thinking about marketing a Joe Biden action figure. It doesn't need a string to pull for it to talk, talk, talk. It only needs someone to listen to it.