“Alright Mr. Stone, I’m ready for my close-up”

Just when you thought you were safe from ever hearing the cliche “art imitates life” along comes Oliver Stone’s movie “W.” Could anything be as funny or as outrageous as the real thing? C’mon, turn on CNN and save yourself the price of a movie ticket.

W. is certainly not Abrahan Lincoln, but he’s got to be more entertaining than Honest Abe ever was. Abe could only be entertained — he liked to take in the theater a lot. W. the Yale Cowboy is an enigma. As presidents go, he’s not even Richard Nixon — who, even with all his criminal intent, lived a life that greek tragedies envy. Bush, however, makes Nixon look like Calvin Coolidge, what with his torture, Patriot Act and eavesdropping on Americans. All in the name of national security. Imagine if Tricky Dicky had that covert cloak to drape over his respectable Republican blue suit.

W. gets a movie made about his adult life while he’s still in the White House. Not exactly on par with Teddy Roosevelt being told he was going to get his mug on Mount Rushmore while he was stillin offiice. But not bad for a president whose approval rating is hovering around 25 percent. No matter that the move is a joke that we’re all in on, it’s at least a first. “PT 109″ was made while JFK was president, but that was about his heroism during World War II. Even Ronald Reagan didn’t get a movie made about him when he was president — and he was a former actor. What, they couldn’t find perfect casting for the role? OK, so maybe there were a few “movies” based on a certain incident in the Clinton White House while Bubba was still president — but those titles aren’t suitable for publication.

“W.” is directed by Mr. Conspiravy-minded, who has this hang up about young men who were products of the 1960s who could never communicate with their daddys. Even though it’s more from an affluent perspective, W. fits the role like a cattle prod on an Abu Ghrab prisoner. It could’ve been worse for Bush, Michael Moore could’ve made the movie. Better yet, let’s see a movie about W. directed by Spike Lee, with the obvious title of “Do the Wrong Thing.” Now that would be a Bush biopic.

Here are some suggestions for movies that can be made about the presidency:

“All the Presidents’ Menus”: Another creative Pixar production with animation depicting the tastes of the presidency over the years. They’ll be plenty of goodies popping up: like talking pastries, napkins, spoons and champagne glasses that all sing tunes by Randy Newman.

“Miami Vice President”: Clint Eastwood stars as a cantankerous old Florida vice cop whose tough reputation as a law and order “maverick” catapults him to be a vice presidential candidate. The plot twist: After they win the election, Clint is called on to investigate his boss, who is suspected of running a sex slave operation out of Camp David. Clint finds danger at every turn when he has to fend off nasty, homicidal political operatives. Clint’s best line in the movie comes early when answering a question from a liberal wimp reporter: “Damn right we’re a law and order ticket. Think of us as Smith and Wesson, punk.”

“The Best Years of Our Wives”: A political chick flick! A biopic about strong first ladies who were the power behind the throne — with a twist: all of them were cougars! A laundry list of actresses who have been pigeon-holed in Mrs. Robinson roles (some in real life) are lining up. Susan Sarandon will produce and be the major star. The movie will be helmed by some guy noted for being a “woman’s director.”

Meanwhile, the old school mentality that is the McCain campaign hopes the public will see Obama in the remake of the classic Jimmy Cagney movie “Public Enemy.” And the Obama camp is banking on the electorate continuing to view the McCain campaign as a new movie version of “Crash.”

C’mon, “No Country for Old Men” would’ve been too easy….

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