Hoaxes and harbingers

The headline might sound like the title of a new medieval-themed video game, but it relates to the gamesmanship of the 2008 campaign’s final stretch. But more about that later.

First, it was another weird week for the McCain campaign — beginning with a series of the senator flubbing linesat rallies. Like when he said Obama surrogates were saying some pretty negative things about the people of western Pennsylvania and “I couldn’t agree with them more.” At another rally, McCain tried tomake a pointwith conviction by saying “count on this and count on that.” By the time he got to the word count a fourth time it came out without the letter “o” in it. And how about that Sarah Palin? The next possible “leader of the Senate” is trying to undress the flap over the $150,000 the RNC spent on her wardrobe and makeup so she can speak to the plain folk out there in Wal-Mart land. Then there’s McCain’s younger brother Joe the simpleton sibling who called 9-1-1 because he was stuck in traffic. The tape of the call was played on cable TV news but had to be bleeped because Joe dropped the “F” word bomb on the hapless 9-1-1 operator. There is no truth to the rumor that John the archaic maverick is considering calling 9-1-1 to revive his cardiac campaign.

Now to the heart of darkness. Late last week a disturbing incident took place in Pittsburgh involving a McCain campaign worker. In what may be the lowest point in the campaign so far because it smacked of race-baiting, a white female reported to police that she was attacked by a black man while she was at an ATM machine “on the wrong side of town.” She said he beat her and carved the letter B (backwards) on her face after he saw a McCain bumper sticker on her car. Police photos of thewoman’s damaged face were released, and faster than you can say “Mandingo’s on the loose,” Fox News — smelling another guilt by race association bonanza in its collective twisted psyche — ran with the story. McCain and Palin bothimmediately released statements offering their support — and prayers — for the poor thing. There was just one little problem: the whole thing was a hoax. The woman was arrested and charged with reporting a false statement to authorities. Of course after the hoax was unmasked, Fox News and the McPalins went as silent as the last scene in the final episode of”The Sopranos.”

The hoax was apparent — the backward B should’ve given it away from the get-go. Duh! Hey, knucklehead, when carving a letteron your face while looking in the mirror, remember that the letter will be, like, you know, reversed. The incident was obviously the product of a disturbed mind with an obvious incentive. One might wonder if all that hate speak at McCain rallies as of late finally put her over the edge to do something so ignorant. She told police that the B was supposed to have stood for Barack. Well, another “B” word immediately comes to mind.

AHOST OF HARBINGERS

John McCain was on “Meet the Press” Sunday live from Waterloo, Iowa. Waterloo?That’s some “Napoleon” dynamite as a harbinger of defeat if you believe most of the polls. That Iowa city’s newspaper can always use the headline “McCain meets his Waterloo.”

Look for the McCain campaign to spend the bulk of the final week of the campaign attacking Obama as being a harbinger of doom when it comes to national security. That Obama isn’t prepared to deal with that major crisis Joe the gaffer Biden says the young president would face. McCain, who has been dealing from the bottom of the deck for most of the campaign, has no choice but to use the one last cardin his hand — and it’s the fear card. The GOP’s ace up its sleeve. It remains to be seen if America finally callsthe GOP’s bluff.

It is day upteen of America being held hostage by McCain name-dropping Joe the Plumber. It would be a real October surprise if McCain finallyput a stop to it.That way he can spend more time running against George the soon-to-be-unemployed President.It appears to have some traction for McCain so far — his annoying campaign ploy of naming people by their occupation is a reminder of how his campaign is an occupational hazard.