The best and not-real brightest

OK, Election Day is a week away and there’s still plenty of time for someone from either campaign to say or do something so outrageous it will seal the deal for the other guy. But here’s a list (that could be revised) of the 10 dumbest things said so far by the candidates and/or their surrogates — taking into account the primaries and the general election:

10. Karl Rove, Bush’s brain, said just last week that the stock market is volatile because Wall Street is anticipating an Obama victory. Karl should never be seen or heard but kept somewhere in an undisclosed location like some Bond villain where he can mastermind his covert campaign strategizin’.

9. Sarah Palin’s words for the ages: “I can see Russia from my house.” George Carlin would have appreciated this — not only seven words you can actually say on television, but also manna from heaven for comics everywhere. If Ralph Kramden were alive he would hug Palin and deliver his immortal line, “Baby, you’re the greatest.”

8. Joe Biden’s Gaffe-in: Biden saying Obama will be tested by a crisis within the first six weeks of his presidency. Way to go, Joe. A sudden case of laryngitis is just what the Democratic spin doctors should order.

7. Hillary in the Bosnia combat zone: Hillary can’t blame this one on Bill, the sexist news media or the good ol’ boys’ club — it was all her fault; and it was a beaut. She bragged about being under fire on her trip to Bosnia when she was first lady. Unfortunately for her, there was video to prove the complete opposite. A dumb move from a smart and savvy pol. One of only a few times she was caught thinking outside the pantsuit.

6. McCain’s pick of Palin because she’s a maverick therefore overlooking former Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge, who is still popular in that state. Now the McMavericks are banking on an upset win in the Quaker State. McCain’s Straight-Talk Express is missing the sum of its parts since driving itself over this Ridge.

5. Palling around with terrorists. Palin again — this time getting the crowds so riled up some yelled “kill him” when referring to Obama’s so-called ties to 1960s radical Bill the homegrown terrorist Ayres. More dangerous than dumb — unless you consider the source.

4. McCain campaign manager Rick Davis saying, after the financial meltdown gripped the nation, that “if we talk about the economy, we’re going to lose.” Why not just spell it out to voters this way: It’s dumb to talk about the economy, stupid.

3. Dumb and Dumber on the campaign trail: It was dumb for the RNC to spend $150,000 on Palin’s wardrobe and makeup while “Target-ing” the hockey mom crowd. Dumber still for Palin to keep the issue in the store window by trying to defend it days after when the story was just about played. The fact that she had Elizabeth Hasselbeck of “The View” on stage with her only managed to serve the eye candy crowd proudly and the banshee crowd loudly.

2. Barack Obama’s “Pennsylvanians cling to their guns and religion” speech while in San Francisco just before the Pa. Primary. It’s often said that people have short attention spans. Not when they’re insulted. That quote could still come back and haunt Obama and lose the state for him. Because of it, Hillary trounced him there in the primary. Lucky for Obama he had an insurmountable lead and it was said late in the primary season. Had he said the knuckleheaded statement earlier, Hillary would be in the position of easily becoming the next president of the United States come Tuesday.

1. Hands down — McCain’s “the fundamentals of the economy are still strong” speech the same day the stock market tanked. Hard to imagine anything topping this whopper. A genuine political epitaph. Ranks right up there with Nixon’s “I am not a crook.” Should McCain lose Tuesday his words will haunt him forever and a day — overshadowing whatever he accomplishes in his Senate career. That’s a shame — but no pity here, since he’s shown no shame this whole campaign.

One could feel a little uncomfortable knowing that the top 2 dumbest things said so far on the campaign trail were delivered by the two men who want to be our next president. That means voters have to think smart before voting. Yes, actually think before making the right decision. A school of thought for those running to lead the country.

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