Fast on his feet

W. still got the moves. Did you see him dodge the great shoe attack at his press conference in Baghdad on Sunday? Apparently throwing your shoes at someone in that part of the world is considered the rudest of insults. Something to do with “you’re not even worth the dirt beneath my shoes.”

Not matter what you think of President Bush, you don’t want anybody throwing anything at the guy. But his fancy footwork helped him dodge any lumps to his head. But then W. was always good at dodging and not taking his lumps. Bush called the incident “amusing” and probably one of the “wierdest” things he’s seen as president.

A day after the incident, thousands of Iraqis took to the streets rallying behind the Iraqi reporter who hurled the clod-hoppers. They were obviously saying “Thanks for Nothing” to our president, who offered up our blood and treasure. Because of them, Iraqis now have the freedom to be inconsiderate.

The shoe-hurler was once kidnapped by militants and also detained by the U.S. military. The consequences of war. OK, we should never have got into that war, but we did, we support our troops, and — on this occasion — we should support W. Did you see him — quick moves for 60something. And he gave that shoe guy a look that seemed to say “Dude, if I wasn’t the president I’d make you eat those size 10s.”

If W. did do that, his poll numbers would probably go up (OK, so there’s really no where else for them to go.) Some reports on TV said there was not much outrage about this incident here at home. Poor guy can’t win for losing. This last month probably couldn’t go by fast enough for W.

The show attacker’s brother said he wanted to humiliate the president. That’s our job, buster. And W.’s — who does pretty well on his own.

And those are mighty big shoes to fill.

Be gone with the windy city

It’s official, Barack Obama is elected the 44th President. In all 50 states and D.C., the Electoral College officially tallied up the score: Obama 365 electoral votes to John McCain’s 173. Or as Fox News would say, someone cooked the numbers.

Speaking of cook — or Cook, as in Cook County, Illinois (smooth transition, huh?) Obama needs to get his transition team outta Chicago as soon as possible. There is no indication that Obama or his Windy City Dream Team had anything to do with Badhair Blagojevich and his scheme to sell the president-elect’s vacant Senate seat to the highest bidder. But even being in the same area code isn’t cool. And you’re supposed to be Joe Cool. Pack up and bring the team of rivals along with you to D.C. Hell, take them to Wasilla, Alaska, if you have to. Just get outta Dodge.

Gov. Badhair can’t be trusted governing a ghost town anymore. He’s a product of Chicago’s Crook County — and he ain’t going to the hoosegow all alone.

Enough of the Michael Corleone “keep your friends close and your enemies closer” riff. You’ve had all the right moves so far — besides, you’re supposed to wait until you’re president before you have to shake the embarassing associates. You’ve been known to move at the speed of light when compared to your opponents, but this is ridiculous.

Right now, Chicago is not your kind of town.

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