Fool on the Hill

The 111th Congress was sworn in Tuesday — or as it could be subtitled, “Malice in the Palace.” The Three Stooges were absent for this one, but there were enough lawyers present to more than compensate. The sharks smelled blood coming from the Constitution, so they circled the media circus surrounding Roland “persona non grata” Burris.

Burris, Ill. Gov. Rod Blagojevich’s main man to fill the vacated Senate seat of President-elect Barack Obama, was denied access because Senate Dems see his appointment by Blago to be tainted, since the gov. has a lot of ‘splaining to do with his pay-to-play scandal.

“Showdown in the Senate” barked CNN; “High Drama at High Noon” bellowed MSNBC; “Look at the Democrats sweating like the pigs that they are” spewed Fox News. OK, the last one didn’t really happen — wouldn’t be fair and balanced.

Burris got the wealth of attention, since he seems to be paying for the guilt by association game that’s been going on longer than necessary in politics as of late. Blago, while innocent until proven guilty, came out guns a-blazin’ with his pick of Burris. Don’t play cards with Blago, he always has an ace up his sleeve — even though it appears the deck is stacked against him. Burris, on the other hand, is holding the joker card. He’s not helping matters much when he says things like his appointment by Blago being “what the Lord had ordained.” Yo, yo, yo, Roland — the Lord works in mysterious ways, not delirious ways.

Vice President Dick Cheney presided over the swearing in of the new and re-elected senators. It was his last major act in power — unless he gets his hands on the button and destroys civilization as we’ve come to know and love it. Don’t count him out yet. But go ahead and count to 14 — which is the number of days he has left before he leaves office and returns to Hades to be enshrined in the “Spawn of Satan” Hall of Fame.

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