OK, Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich is looney tunes. Not that there’s anything wrong with that if you’re a politician. Comes with the territory.
While his state is debating his fate, Blago was in The Big Apple trying to get a piece of the Celebrities Gone Wild pie. The Ringmaster of the Media Circus has the press performing like trained seals balancing every oddball move he tosses at them.
On Monday, Blago visited with the women of “The View” and later with the Count Chocula of cable gab, Larry King. “Hello, Muncie. Got a question for Gov. Rod?” King, the master of the obvious, is the commentator who asked one of the survivors of that miraculous passenger plane that ditched in the Hudson River, “Do you consider yourself lucky?” No, Larry, this sort of thing happens to me everyday. King also writes a column in USA Today that brings up pertinent subject matter like “Is there a prettier color than blue?” You could almost see him asking Blago questions like, “You compare yourself to Gandhi. He was from India. You’re from Illinois, which is a neighbor to Indiana. Coincidence?” Or, “Your hair is a popular topic among many. It gets to a specific location before you do. Who does your hair, NASA?”
Blago is right at home with interviewers who are as goofy as he is. A perfect celebrity wannabe: He is to narcissim what Rush Limbaugh is to hot air.
The Blago media blitz included him saying that he considered Oprah to fill President Obama’s vacated Senate seat. Dude, president is soooo beneath the Goddess of Gab. Nice try, bad hair. You were at least original with some of your whacky rhetoric, but sucking up to Oprah is beneath even the method to your madness. Stick to the really kooky stuff, like telling TV news that the morning you found out you were arrested you thought about your family and then channeled Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, and Gandhi. What, was Jesus busy?
This guy has even succeeded at making Sarah Palin — no stranger she to an insatiable appetite for the spotlight — a has-been. She’s going to have to come up with something huge to out-whack the country’s latest whack-job self-serving celebrity wannabe.
Blago was even asked who does he want playing him in the movie about his life. Since Abe Lincoln and Moses obviously aren’t available, he said he’d play himself because he’d probably need the job and could use the money. Watch out, there’s a hint of humility starting to show. Soon after making that statement, the embattled gov. had a microphone shoved in his face by Geraldo, who was stalking him in the parking lot outside where “The View” is taped.
It doesn’t stop here, of course, or anywhere soon, it appears, but Blago even fancied himself as a protagonist in a Frank Capra movie. Capra was the famous director who made such great populist films in the 1930s and 1940s as “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” and “It’s a Wonderful Life.” It’s the latter movie where Blago likely sees himself:
Blago: I wish I was never born.
Clarence (the angel-in-waiting): Poppycock. Do you want to see what the world would be like without you in it? Observe….
Blago: Wow! No corruption. No playing the news media like it was a cheap violin. Dennis Kucinich is president. What’s this? The Cubs have won 9 of the last 10 World Series?!
Clarence: Pretty nauseating stuff, huh? The world would be miserable.
Blago: Like not having Christmas. I can’t see a planet without me in it. Me, Beethoven, and My Little Kitty. Me likey My Little Kitty. I’m going to dedicate my life to winning the hearts and minds of the court of public opinion.
Clarence: Great! That means it won’t cost me a thing to get my wings.
Blago: What?! Not so fast, you (expletive) heavenly ghost….