It’s the end of another tough week on Wall Street and what’s the news across the nation?
Obama is dithering
Limbaugh is regurgitating
a man stuffed his cat in a bong to keep it (the animal) warm
a woman in Florida called 911 three times to complain that the neighborhood Mickey D.’s wouldn’t give her any chicken McNuggets
Bernie “Scumbag Millionaire” Madoff may plead guilty to wiping out peoples’ fortunes in a Ponzi scheme
and John McCain is twittering
Let’s not forget America’s newest sweetheart (as opposed to McCain being America’s newest Tweetheart) the Octomom. She of birthing litters has been getting way too much coverage — even on those so-called entertainment channels. One almost misses Rod Blagojevich or Sarah Palin mugging for the TV cameras.
We learned that last October The Fertile One called 911 to freak out after misplacing one of her kids. She even threatened to commit suicide ‘cos she didn’t know what to do (is there a nursery rhyme in here somewhere?) Turns out the kid was out for a walk with the nanny. It probably took the neighborhood Mickey D.’s to bring her chicken McNuggets to settle her down.
Meanwhile, the man who said he fathered the kids of The Ultimate Uterus has stepped forward. Little is known about the guy except that he could’ve worked in the Bush administration because he too had no idea of an exit strategy.
In a week where the stock market was plunging deeper than Pamela Anderson’s neckline, where GM can’t see the USA in a Chevrolet because its only destination appears to be Chapter 11, and where job losses are multiplying faster than Einstein on a chalkboard, cable news was dominated by the fued between Jabba the Butt and the Kid with Hope.
The GOP said the Obama-Limbaugh daily soap opera was a diversion set up by the White House to get the American public’s mind off how totally whacked his spending bill is turning out to be. Paul Krugman, economist to the gods, said the president was “dithering” — for all of us being talked down to by this brainiac, he wants to say Obama is confused, overly excited, or just plain indecisive about his spending plans. And Krugman is the poster child for conservatives to hate: an elitist academic from the East Coast whose last date happened during the Carter administration.
Does this mean the honeymoon is over for Obama? Not with the American people. Not yet anyway. He’s still popular, if you believe the poll numbers. But maybe the majority who still believe in him are just dithering.
Cable news networks were following the Rush-Barack back-and-forth like it was political March Madness. MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, the human talking point, gave Limbaugh the “Hardball” trophy for his chutzpah. Matthews is obsessed with Limbaugh — almost as much as MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell is with Hillary Clinton (talk about your girl-crushes.)
It was a week of utter nonsense that overshadowed the economic woes that continue to mount. But the diversion was well worth it when it was discovered Friday that John McCain is twittering. Some might say, yeah, he’s like 72, and his motor skills aren’t exactly up to par. But they would be wrong. Johnny Mac has officially joined the 21st century technopalooza.
He’s on a mission to deep fry all that pork that’s in the spending bill. And, my friends, he’s gonna use every new form of technology available to get his message across. No more pork. He better not say that too loud or else he too will have to apologize to Rush Limbaugh.