A Barbie Doll’s House

Barbie is 50. But she doesn’t look that old with all that “plastic” surgery she’s had done. Barbie has played many roles throughout her life — both politically correct and anachronistic. Eventually, they tried to make Barbie Dolls for everyone. And a fortune was made on the doll (although one wonders what the toymaker was thinking with the Klaus Barbie. No one bought what the toymaker was trying to sell: Barbie was a double agent infiltrating the Gestapo. Nice try, Hans.))

Here are some other Barbie dolls that didn’t make the cut:

1. Cougar Barbie: Now that she’s 50 she can pounch on the newest collectibles for little girls: the Jonas Brothers dolls.

2. Octomom Barbie: Comes complete with a belly so big it can plop out eight babies. Also comes with a fertility clinic set — where Octomom Barbie has to go when she wants more children she doesn’t know what to do. After all, she’s true to Ken, but he is anatomically correct.

3. Republican Barbie: Also known as playing-hard-to-get Barbie, because all she ever says is “No!”

4. Ponzi Scheme Barbie: Comes complete with two playsets: Barbie under penthouse arrest with fashionable matching ankle and wrist monitors, and jail set where she’s cellmates with Madia, and learns how to become more domestic with the guidance of good jail witch Martha Stewart. Meanwhile both have to thwart off the evilness of the ghost of bad jail witch Leona Helmsley.

5. Bromance Barbie: The doll resorts back to being basic eye candy like a lot of actresses are becoming in the latest movie fad that was once called the buddy picture. From man-crush to bromance (but they’re not gay!) men get along just fine sexually harassing each other and talking about their things. Women are becoming more and more incidental and more or less look like Barbie dolls who act long-suffering because they put up with the antics of too close for comfort buddies (who aren’t doing anything gay!) Also known as low self-esteem Barbie.

6. AIG Barbie: The country gets behind Barbie, who needs a bailout because she goes crazy on her Mattel charge card. Things get ugly when Ken gives himself a bonus for coming up with the concept of the movie bromance.

Fox News alert: Old Bush administration officials never fade away, they become commentators on the Rupert Murdoch Misanthrope Network. We got your Karl Rove, your Ari Fleischer and now your Dana “You mean there was news before Ronald Reagan was President?” Perino spewing the Republican talking points. Apparently, the GOP doesn’t believe the Fox News Bushbots are smart enough to not only read what’s put in front of them, but to believe it. You are getting verrrrry sleepy…..verrrry sleeeeepy. God talked to Bush. Obama like voodoo.

Speaking of Obama, he ought to dump that treasury secretary. Sorry, Mr. President, you can’t save the country a lot of money by switching to Geithner.

Models behaving badly: How about that melee over the weekend in New York City where America’s Next Top Model held auditions? It looked like a soccer game in a Third World country. Huge brawl. Injuries reported — and that’s just from staring too long at that look Tyra Banks gets on her face when that crease between her eyes looks like the fault line of an earthquake.

Rumor has it that the brawl broke out when the catering service brought only one leaf of lettuce for the starving models to fight over. Cat fight! Yow! That’s the way of the world.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to A Barbie Doll’s House

  1. Excellent article! We will be linking to this particularly great article on our site.
    Keep up the good writing. Payday Loans

  2. read more says:

    Good blog you have got here.. Its hard to find excellent writing
    like yours nowadays. I truly appreciate individuals like you!
    Take care!!

  3. I must thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing this blog. I really hope to check out the same high-grade blog posts from you later on as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my very own website now ;) payday loans uk guaranteed approval

  4. Very good article! We will be linking to this great
    article on our site. Keep up the good writing.

    zap payday loans

  5. The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesn’t fail me just as much as this particular one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, nonetheless I truly thought you would probably have something interesting to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you weren’t too busy searching for attention.
    pay day loans

  6. ppi says:

    I want to to thank you for this wonderful read!
    ! I definitely loved every bit of it. I have you saved as a favorite to check out new stuff you post
    http://ppi-cliaims.webstarts.com/

  7. bookmarked!!, I really like your blog! tv online

  8. I could not refrain from commenting. Very well written!
    http://www.watchtvonlineplus.com/

  9. Fast payday loans link the financial gap between your
    needs and your future to pay, towards least until your actual next pay working.

    With regard to remove all this financial distress from the your head, utilize with loans till
    payday without any discomfort and hassle. payday loans lenders only

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>