They’ve been played

Condi, you party animal!

Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was on Jay Leno’s show Tuesday night and was asked who was her favorite rock band. And — shocker! — her answer was Led Zepplin.

When you think Condi Rice you don’t think the Zepplin. What’s next, Dick Cheney rocks out to Mick and Keith and the Stones?

So what are the worst pop songs ever?

“Feelings” by some guy named Morris Albert (hard to believe the singer would have the name Morris, doesn’t it?) always finishes near the top or at least in the Top 3. It’s the “Citizen Kane” of awful pop songs

“You Light Up My Life” by Debby Boone comes in a close second (the fact that she said she was singing about you-know-who wasn’t any saving grace. But maybe that’s why it was such a miracle that it was such a hit. Why else, God only knows….)

I’ve tried polling workers at the newspaper, but most of them weren’t even born in the 1960s or 1970s to hate pop songs that have been played and played and played. A lot of their answeres to bad songs was stuff from the 1990s and on. So the list would be endless. So we narrowed it down to the 1970s and 1980s.For now. This is something that will likely be continued. If you have any list, feel free to submit them.But for now:

5 songs that have run their grooves out and I don’t care if I ever hear again:

1. “Maggie May” by Rod Stewart. The Mrs. Robinson of pop rock, take 2. If anybody thinks the cougar trend (older woman, younger man) is something of a historic achievement, remember this song was released in 1971. Rod is now singing standards by Cole Porter and Rogers and Hart. Maybe he should try “Feelings.”

2. “Money for Nothing (or, “I want My MTV’)” by Dire Straits. This was big in the early 1980s when MTV made its maiden voyage. They mention microwave ovens in the song. Every record, tape or CD with this song on it should be placed in one and set on high.

3. “Red Red Wine” by UB40. Extremely annoying, even if you’ve had too much red red wine. The group shuldn’t have been called UB 40, but rather UBForgotten after this song ran its course.

4. “Come on Eileen” by Dexy’s Midnight Runners. When this song first came out, everyone knew one thing for sure: One Hit Wonder. This song has been regurgitated by the FM radio station “Jack” out of Burbank, which seems to be on a mission from who knows who to try to keep this song alive (they play it way too much.) “Jack’s” calling card is they play what they want and don’t take requests. Good thing, because I’ve got a long list of requests for them.

5. “Imagine” by John Lennon. What? I’m knockin’ the anthem of my generation? Maybe more like its swan song. I love The Beatles and some work they’ve done solo (McCartney’s “Band on the Run” and Harrison’s “My Sweet Lord”) but this one grates on me. It manages to be condescending and optimistic at the same time — quite a feat since it obviously wasn’t its intent. A mantra for the baby boom generation that is now thinking retirement and has to get Utopia off it’s mind.

Wonder if Condi would give these aforementioned tunes a “Whole Lotta Love”?

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One Response to They’ve been played

  1. Paul C in PA says:

    Johnny,

    Feelings on the list…Derf would be heartbroken. Let’s not forget “Beth” by kiss. With no dis-respect at all intended for all the lovely young ladies named Beth that I’ve known across the miles, but rockers who wear make-up and spit blood should NEVER do ballads. Especially when the drummer is singing. Sorry Don and Karen.

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