Cyberwonky

There he goes again. President Obama conducted the first online townhall meeting Thursday from the White House. President Omnipresent. President Obamnipresent? By the time his first term is over he will have talked to every American — except those who live in Sarah Palin’s real America, of course.

It was interesting to say the least, though after covering the news event for some 15 minutes, Fox News cut away from it and rounded up the usual suspects to start criticizing his budget sales pitch to the Americans in the one-of-a-kind Internet town hall.

Obama the Cyberwonky fielded an array of questions from some 67,000 people watching him in cyberspace (approximately 100,000 questions were submitted.) There were questions about the economy and education, of course, but there were others like the one about legalizing marijuana as a means of boosting the economy and creating jobs (Cyberwonky said “No”.)

With all those questions submitted, many of them had to miss making the cut.

Here are 20 questions to the prez that were left floating in the vast frontier of cyberspace:

1. Do you ever sleep?

2. Is there a teleprompter implanted in your head?

3. Did you ever twitter yourself?

4. Hi, Sarah Palin here, can you see Russia from your White House?

5. Do you believe in rock ‘n’ roll? Can music save your mortal soul? And can you tech me how to dance real slow?

6. Hi, Judd Apatow here, wanna appear naked with Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen in my next bromance comedy, “I Love you man but it’s not like we’re being gay or anything”?

7. This is the Republican Party, can we borrow your audience? We’ve come up with an alternative plan to your budget — it’ll only take a minute.

8. Would you like to replace Howie Mandell on “Deal or No Deal”?

9. Do you have to escape from The Terminator when you’re in cyberspace?

10. Hi, Andy Rooney here: Did you ever notice that a lot of words rhyme with Barack? Not too many rhyme with Obama, though. There’s Jo Mama. And then there’s Osama — but we won’t go there. We like our presidents. Even when their names do rhyme with madmen.

11. Who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop? Who put the ram in the ram-a-lama-ding-dong?

12. Fox News here — are you going to accept our challenge and try to walk across the Potomac?

13. This is Hillary — is Bill there?

14. This is John McCain — how do I stop this thing? I’m the only man to ever get shot down when he was in cyberspace!

15. Hillary again — did you tell Bill he was ambassador to spring break?

16. The Octomom here — need a cover girl for your stand on pro-choice?

17. Will you get that damn dog already?!

18. Heard any good special olympics jokes lately?

19. Oprah here — you realize you still owe me, right?

20. Hi, George W. Bush calling you on the Internets. Need your opinion for a title of my book, OK? Which one of these do you like the best?

1. “Wake Me When It’s Over”

2. “Has ‘My Pet Goat’ Been Taken?”

3. “W Sure Didn’t Stand For Workaholic”

4. “Just Because My Last Name’s Bush Doesn’t Mean I’m A …..”

5. “They Paid Me $7 million To Write This Thing — Mission Accomplished”

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One Response to Cyberwonky

  1. Sipadan says:

    I’m so glad we have finally caught Osama bin Laden, it’s a shame they had to kill him, we could have had some embarrasing photos of him in his underpants like with Sadam

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