Car crazy

Would you buy a used car from this man? Was the joke about Richard Nixon when he was running and running for president.

Now it's President Barack Obama offering voters (he calls them voters instead of the old stand-by Americans because he's always in campaign mode) a good deal on buying cars from the troubled automakers. You'll save a bundle and help save the economy too.

Since the prez is everywhere nowadays (he's on tour in Europe this week) maybe he ought to consider doing an infomercial next. "Only 39 minutes and 27 seconds to buy more merchandise featuring me on dinner plates, coins, pennants and his and hers bathrobes, just like the ones me and Michelle wear in the Lincoln bedroom. Honest."

Obama fired the CEO of GM on Monday because, as he has said in the past, we don't reward failure. He even had a list of reasons why CEO Richard Wagoner was terminated:

1. He didn't properly check the air pressure in his tires

2. He doesn't work on Wall Street

3. Forty years ago, Wagoner sold Biden an El Dorado with a bumper that kept falling off

4. Obama replaced Wagoner with Fritz Henderson because he likes saying the name Fritz

5. Wagoner could never live down the fact that he was the one responsible for naming the vehicle a "Hummer"

Speaking of Hummers, Madonna, no.. uh, the Hummer vehicle is selling like falafels in Baghdad.

They love the gas guzzler. And they have the oil to prove it.

History will be kind to George W.MD Bush and Dick Cheney when it is recorded that these two nimrods helped the sales of a vehicle from a struggling American auto company. It doesn't do squat for our economy and it doesn't line Bush and Cheney's pockets (as far as we know.) But then, they still have Halliburton.

The two won't ever appear in a Baghdad TV commercial pushing the gas guzzler, but they'll be there in spirit. Maybe to get the women to get their men to buy the Bush BabyBlue Hummer or the Cheney Heart-Stopping Cherry Red one.

"Come on down to Baghdad Bob's and test drive the Almighty Hummer! It was made by the infidels in the West who invaded our country so we could test drive these babies!

"I'm telling you these babies are the bomb! OK, poor choice of words, I know. But it's either this or a harem of sheep for status. So get behind the wheel of one of these guzzlers -- gas is no problem. What is this, Oxnard? I'm telling you, you can cruise for chicks, or goats if youprefer. You'll feel like the Big Man among the Mujihadeen.

"Come on down to Baghdad Bob's and test drive a Hummer! Money is no object -- we're rolling in the stuff. There's no economic crisis in this war-torn Mecca.

"You've got to have one of these Babylon Beauties. They're to die for!....."