Everything old is Newt again

It wasn’t politics as usual Thursday when President Barack Obama hosted a Seder at the White House to mark Passover. Although the guests in attendance probably could’ve done without the prez’s tribute in song and dance to Danny Kaye.

But it was the same old song when Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich said the Obama administration is “anti-religious.” (By the way, it’s a known fact that Newt is often mistaken for Shecky Greene.)

Maybe after hosting the Seder, the GOP can say Obama is “anti-Christianity.”

The GOP consistently acts like a bunch of whiners who, if they’re not complaining about Obama they’re accusing him of one nasty thing after another. All right, the guy’s far from perfect, but let up a little and try to at least agree on something so something can get done.

As for Obama, just govern. Bipartisanship be damned. It ain’t working. Get the votes you need from your own party and get going already. The first 100 days are nearing an end, and the honeymoon’s going to be over soon. Enough already with the taking Europe by storm with the glamor and the charisma.

Not only isn’t the GOP not listening, neither is, surprise, Fox News.

Obama on Thursday gave a speech on health care for veterans. It was covered live on CNN and MSNBC (the godless terrorist-loving, baby-killing, homoenviousnews organizations) but was no where to be found on the Murdoch Channel. Funny that, since Fox prides itself on being the Soldiers’ News Network.

The newscasters at Fox were probably too busy writing down and memorizing the talking points from Rupert or Rush or anybody with half a brain that will bash Obama’s speech without having listened to it.

One can almost see why Dick Cheney supports torture — he listens only to Fox News. Pure torture. Fair and balanced.

Speaking of Rush, there was a priceless piece of video from his radio broadcast everywhere in cyberspace.

A caller suddenly turned on Jabba the Butt and called him a “brainwashed Nazi” (no that would be Glenn “Goerhing” Beck) because he supported torture.

Jabba didn’t take this very well and went ballistic on the caller, saying the World War II vet on the phone was “not a real Republican.”

Jabba then ordered the man frozen in time and then kidnapped a princess something or other and ordered a wookie flogged.

But back to Newt. What is it with this guy? Oh ya, always a bridesmaid, never a bride. He would like to have the celebrity, the charisma, the command of the language the new president possesses.

Can you imagine:

1. There would be movies named for him: “The Gingrich Who Stole Christmas.”

2. Songs written about him: “I’ve gone from rags to Gingriches.”

3. There would be “Newt’s girls” (Paging Inbred Girls Gone Wild.)

4. It would be in vogue for men whose wives are dying or in a coma to tell them they want a divorce.

5. Comedians would have a field day with jokes about Georgia’s native son. Especially female comics: “Newt’s motto is ‘The South will rise again, even though Newt can’t.’ ”

At best, Monty Python would finally get it’s long-awaited answer: “What’s a Newt?”

America wouldn’t have a prayer.

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One Response to Everything old is Newt again

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