BARK OBAMA: Now that the Obamas finally got that damn dog, there should be a moratorium on any newscaster anywhere uttering the phrase made famous by Harry Truman, “If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.”
Of course now that President Obama has a first pooch, the GOP can start accusing him of “wag the dog.”
Obama was bragging that he taught Bo the Portugese water dog to sit up and beg in the Oval Office. Of course, he wasn’t the first president to get a dog to sit up and beg in the Oval Office.
Anyway the kids are happy. Not only because they have a dog, but they don’t have to schedule play time with Joe Biden anymore.
Republicans like Newt Gingrich got all snarky about how the press went ga-ga over the Obamas getting a pooch. Just wait until he’s president. America will learn to love Kamodo dragons. Hell, we just had eight years of a lizard as vice president.
REALITY BITES: Just when you thought it was necessary to even consider watching reality TV, along comes news that disgraced but never disgruntled former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich is close to starring on a new NBC reality show. Apparently the peacock network believes Donald Trump’s bad hair needs competition. You can get Phil Spector out of jail and you got yourself a trifecta there, moptops.
Blago wants to be featured on “I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here” — a program similar (c’mon call it what it really is, a rip-off) of “Survivor.” On this show, contestants will be dropped off in the jungles of Costa Rica and perform stunts — facing challenges to avoid elimination. Ever notice most of these so-called celebs who appear on these reality shows have already been eliminated from the minds of most people who want to be entertained.
In any event, Blago could be paid as much as $80,000 a show (or as it’s called in Chicago politics, milk money.)
This is too much to ask for. Since many Americans would like to see Blago dropped off any where and go away.
Here’s a list of personalities who could join him for some bungle in the jungle:
1. Larry King — he looks like something that would crawl out from under a rock in the jungle. “Hello, Nicaragua, you’re on the air.”
2. Madonna — she can adopt a baby boy from the Costa Rican jungle. Or marry one.
3. Britney Spears — since it’s in the jungle and there could be danger, and military action might be involved, it’s necessary to go commando.
4. Michael Jackson — see Madonna.
5. Sarah Palin — more endangered species to shoot at from a helicopter. And that’s just the D-list celebrities that will end up on the show.
6. Jennifer Aniston — to prove that any guy, anywhere will eventually dump her
7. Adam Sandler — to prove he can make an unfunny comedy in any environment
8. Rosie O’Donnell — did someone say to get out of the jungle there would need to be a human sacrifice?
9. Justin Timberlake — jeez, is there anywhere this guy won’t show up?
10. The Octomom — we got your paparazzi right here!
BITING OFF MORE THAN THEY CAN CHEW: Just desserts: You know it’s been a bad year for the Republican party when an incumbent senator loses an election to Stuart Smiley. Doggone it, Al Franken was good enough, smart enough and people of Minnesota liked him and he won (narrowly) over Norm Coleman. But Norm, like his namesake on “Cheers,” isn’t budging. He’s going to fight a three-judge panel’s decision all the way to the Supreme Court.
The GOP got a dose of its own medicine… now it’s on the losing end when challenging election results. Remember the 2000 election that gave us W. (courtesy of the Supreme Court.) Hey, if it worked once, why not again. Certainly Minnesota wouldn’t mind a W. type victory. Look what it gave America in return…..
BITE ME: Arizona Senator and loser of the 2008 Presidential Election John McCain was on Jay Leno’s show the other night and when the TV host asked him who could be a good choice for the 2012 GOP nod, Johnny Mac said there are a lot of good governors who would be great contenders . He mentioned Bobby Jindal, Tim Pawlenty, Charlie Crist, and former Mass. Gov. Mitt Romney. Did he leave anybody out? You bet’cha.