Memo to Cheney

Now we know where Dick Cheney’s undisclosed location is: Fox News.

Cheney again sat down with Sean Insanity on Hannity’s show of shows the other day and once again ripped on President Obama, calling him weak and practically defying him to bring charges against anybody associated with his torture club.

The former Veep keeps pushing it. He keeps trying to incite our enemies (too numerous in Cheney’s mind to mention) almost inviting them to attack America so he can prove himself right. What a tool.

Ditto for on-air El Grande Dittohead Sean Insanity, who, during his interview looked like one of those teen girls you’d see in old movies who were plucked out of the audience by Elvis so he could sing “Can’t Help Falling in Love with You” to them personally.

Kudos to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, when asked at a Congressional hearing on Wednesday about Cheney wanting memos released proving that his torture tactics worked. Clinton responded, coldly and matter-of-factly, “I don’t find Former Vice President Cheney a reliable source of information.”

If Cheney had a heart, Hillary just stuck a dagger in it.

We’ve heard and seen more from this goon in the last three months than we did during his eight years of reigning as ambassador to urinating on the Geneva Convention.

If Cheney is trying to get Obama to call his bluff, so far it’s working. Obama has played ball on the team of Select Few in the President’s Club and said he won’t prosecute those on high who practice what he won’t call torture, but rather “enhanced interrogation.” Great, just what we need — a politically correct term for torture.

Still, Obama did leave the door open for the Attorney General’s office to do otherwise (it does fall under the Justice Department.)

Cheney the Big Kahuna of the GOP wallows in the fact that the GOP follows his command, his repulvise rhetoric and his snearing suggestions that Obama makes America look lame:

1. Obama bows to the Saudi king. Yo, Dick, there’s video of W. kissing the Saudi king and holding his hand when he visited the White House (which he probably owns by now). Queer eye for the Oil guy?

2. Obama shaking hands (however reluctantly) with Hugo Chavez. What, a terrorist fist bump wasn’t good enough?

3. Obama in Europe apologizing for how America has lost some of its respect around the world. The usually direct president should have been more so and told it like it is: I’m here to clean up the crap that Bush and Cheney spread over the globe in the name of truth, justice and the American way. But Obama really isn’t Superman after all.

And Obama isn’t Jimmy Carter. Not yet. But he’s veering in that direction.

I’m still of the belief that no matter what dirty deeds done dirt cheap Bush and Cheney did as far as “enhanced interrogation” that they should not be prosecuted. You do what you have to do to protect the country. Obama is right when he says you have to look forward and not backward. Those who live in the past are doomed to repeat it, to alter a proverb.

But if Cheney keeps insisting on insane dialogue like there are memos out there that can prove torture worked, and if we are privvy to that in print or television (think video on demand, Dick) inquiring minds like mine could change their tune.

Don’t worry, Dick, you’ll still have that undisclosed location to vent your frustration. It can serve as a command center when the U.S. starts believing that Obama is indeed trying to take over the Internet and spending his weekends sleeping with the enemy.

Secession will be the ultimatum for the United Militia States of America.

Give us your tired, your poor, your helpless — so we can test to see if waterboarding can be touted as a family sport.

Every time Cheney speaks I keep thinking of Woody Allen’s line from “Annie Hall”: “What I wouldn’t give right now for a large bag of wet manure.”

But Rush Limbaugh is another story …..

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