Take pity on disgraced but never disillusioned impeached former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich. He wanted so to be a part of NBC’s rip-off of “Survivor” reality TV show “I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!”
Blago would’ve been a part of a crew with celebrities whose 15 minutes of fame didn’t even last that long who would’ve been dropped in the jungles of Costa Rica in survival of the fittest challenges.
But a judge say no. What, he was afraid Blago would’ve skipped off to France or Argentina and never come back to the U.S. of A? Blago a flight risk? He would never be able to stay away. The judge would’ve done us a favor if he had let Bad Hair eat bugs and get the frizzies.
But never fear. Blago says there are other irons in the fire. Ya. he’s one hot prospect.
Maybe he could be featured in projects like:
1. “Hairspray: The Series”: Blago could play the drag part John Travolta tackled in the movie. He wouldn’t have to put on weight, just wear a fat suit like Mr. Stayin’ Alive. And any network is desperate enough to try to capitalize on that thing on his head.
2. “Live with Blago and Kathie Lee”: Regis dumped Mrs. Gifford because apparently she wasn’t annoying enough. She would be a perfect harpy companion for Blago’s rat-a-tat-tat staccato voice. An ideal morning show for people who like their celebrities out of control. She can talk about her kids and hubby Frank’s future Viagra ads, and Blago could keep maintaining his innocence. They won’t even need guests. And together they’re louder than background noise at any sporting event.
3. “The Touchables”: A reworking of the gangster TV series “The Untouchables” only this time it’s revisionist stuff of politicians who couldn’t help but get their hands on payola. Blago would just be host and narrator. And he is of course more than familiar with Chicago politics. His tag line at the end of each episode: “Remember, leave your blood at the Red Cross and a suitcase of Benjamins in a red ’67 El Dorado near the river.”
Presidents, eh?: It’s been reported that former Presidents George W. Bush and Bill Clinton will be together again at a gabfest later this spring in Canada.
Perfect, “President Out to Lunch and President Never Missed Many Lunches.” What possible could they have in common to talk about? OK:
1. Both were Baby Boomer presidents who chickened out of serving in Vietnam.
2. One smoked dope and the other one is.
3. In different ways, they both left a stain on the Oval Office.
4. One came to power because the other’s daddy was fluff, and the other came to power because the other couldn’t get enough.
5. They both hate Hillary.
6. They both like to sneak up behind female world leaders and rub their shoulders
7. One wears shoes and the other has to dodge shoes thrown at him.
8. While in the Great White North, one will look for a spicy Canadian Club and the other will down a bottle of one.
9. They both like the movie “Cabaret” but wouldn’t dare admit it.
10. They both liked to fart at State Dinners because they knew no one would ever blame them