Getting an earful

Ever wonder what's really being said or asked on those headsets when leaders of foreign nations are supposed to be listening to translators?

Here are some of the questions that were asked of President Obama by other leaders. Questions the usual on-the-spot and not off-the-cuff president didn't necessarily want to answer -- publically anyway.

1. "Is the Queen shrinking?"

2. "Are you listening to a translator on those headsets or "The Best of ZZ Top" like Bush did?'

3. "How did a weasel like Sarkozy snag such a hot babe like Carla Bruni?"

4. "Wanna freak out Angela Merkel and sneak up behind her and give her a shoulder rub?"

5. "Wanna be Abbott to my Costello and go up to the Chinese leader and drive him nuts with a "Hu's on first" comedy routine?"

6. "Isn't that Sarah Palin telling Medvedev she can see Russia from her house?"

7. "When's Bill Clinton going to stop asking Carla Bruni if she wants to see his global initiative?"

8. "Why is it when Hillary Clinton tried to put her arm around the Queen, her majesty decked her?"

9. "So when are you going to exile Cheney to North Korea?"

10. "What's it mean in your country to get Lewinskied?"

A P.R. gift to the GOP

In order to be heard in the media (besides Fox News), the Republican Party needs to get itself accused of some form of corruption.

The GOP not only expectedly took a back seat to Obama's European tour, they could barely get more press coverage for their alternative budget than Madonna wanting to adopt a child who is not from the United States.

What news event besides President Omnipresent in England got a lot of newsplay? Bad hair ex-Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich being indicted, of course.

Nothing can keep pace with the celeb prez like high-falootin' corruption. Well, probably a sex scandal. But Republicans avoid those like a Michael Moore movie.

Hell, Republicans have even stopped using bathroom stalls in men's rooms at airports.