London brawling

Thousands of protesters took to the streets of London on Wednesday protesting the global economic summit, or G-20 Summit. The angry mob vandalized the Bank of England and smahed windows at the Royal Bank of Scotland. Why is it when there's news footage showing protesters in London they always look the same -- they have missing teeth and appear to have never heard of shampoo. It's as if the never-say-die punk rockers are still milling about.

What an angry country. Must be from drinking all that Guinness.

Meanwhile, the Obamas had tea with Queen Elizabeth II. The prez said this was the only time he ever had an audience with a queen from England -- unless he counts the time he talked with Elton John at a fundraiser.

The Queen, who at first thought she was meeting Tiger Woods, bragged about golf being invented in Scotland. The Queen's handlers (an odd term) told the Obamas to just be themselves when meeting her royal highness. So she had to accept his challenge to play a one-on-one pickup game on the royal court. It wasn't pretty, but neither is that royal family. A tad incestuous looking, wot?

President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle looked cool and right at home at Buckingham Palace. Even if it was just for a spot of tea.

Not to be outdone, John McCain had fish and chips at a Red Lobster with Helen Mirren.

The Obamas gave Her Majesty an iPod. In return, she gave them a signed portrait of herself and Prince Kept Man. Which was appropriate, because neither party will know what to do with the gift exchanges.



Other highlights of the first day of the G-20 Summit:



French President Nicolas Sarkozy threw a hissy fit when he threatened to walk out of the G-20 if he didn't get what he wanted. Mon dieu! French dude, you're married to Carla Bruni and you want more? You threaten to pack up and go home? You should be working out of your house!



German Chancellor Angela Merkel, still plagued by nightmares, kept looking over her shoulder to make sure George W. Bush wasn't sneaking up on her to give her an unsuspecting, and unwanted, back rub.

W. can't help himself, he holds a soft spot in his libido for Heidies -- everytime he sees a German chick it reminds him of Oktoberfest.

And from the What were they thinking department: Back home here in the country that gave Britain bloody hell, the Republican Party unleashed its alternative to Obama's budget. On April Fool's Day. For a political party that's trying to forget W. even existed because he was such a joke, they can't help but be punchlines.

Hint of the century: If you're going to continue to be the butt of jokes or creating humorous situations like parading Michael Steele ("so what if Obama is president. I'm the Republican National Committe chairman") at least learn timing. Timining is everything. I repeat, timing is everything.

It's not bad enough that you're trying to be taken seriously on April 1, but you're also trying to take charge of a news cycle when President Omnipresent is in Europe feasting on Cornish hen, smoked quail eggs and foie gras with Her Royal Hiney.

The Republican Party has the wrong cable channel sucking up to its every move -- it should dump Fox News and take up with Comedy Central, where comedy of errors get the royal treatment.