Cheney at the ready

Dick Cheney's tour of duty to keep his legacy a lie proves just how powerful this human scare tactic was over the last eight years. And how out to lunch George W. continued to be during his failed presidency.

Dick the Delusional keeps on talking and talking -- like some deranged Energizer badger. W. is silent -- saying and doing nothing. It was like these two never left office.

Richard the Blackhearted is such a meglomaniac he thinks only he and the un-American tactics he employed and continues to promote -- make that encourage through his mouthpiece Fox News (his lips don't even move when they speak) -- can keep us safe.

And as long as he keeps his bulldozong of the Constitution up the bad guys who want to take our "freedoms" away will know that we know that they know that we know.

This narcissistic naysayer cares not that he keeps inviting terrorists to attack our native soil again becausethose now in power are cream puffs who are making our country weak. They're too chicken to rule the roost.

In effect, old Dick-O is aiding and abetting the enemy. Can anything be more anti-American?

His disdain for President Obama mirrors the way he views humanity. He wants another attack -- one that would dwarf 9-11. On that day he was busy already plotting a war in Iraq while his boss, the draft-dodging doofus, was reading a book to kids at a grade school.

Dubious Dick, you attack Obama for wanting to close Gitmo. Fair enough. But then here comes the scare tactics, the fear-mongering. The terrorists from there will be here. You even convinced the spineless Democrats in the Senate to go along with you (not such a tough thing to do, as you've learned.)

Forget the fact that it was the Bush administration that released 525 detainees from Gitmo, and 14 percent of them returned to their respective terrorist networks.

Yes, but at least they weren't on the streets of Des Moines.

Doomsday Dick, meet The Doors. The Doors you say? Take a line from their song "Roadhouse Blues": "The future's uncertain and the end is always near."

That could be your mantra -- it's what you're preaching to the heavenly God-fearing choir like the American Enterprise Institution. A right-wing think tank. Talk about the very definition of a contradiction in terms.

Opening at a theater near you on Memorial Day -- "National Security." A film you've got to see in the interest of being a real American -- before your guns, your religion and your moral stand on social issues are stripped from you. Before President Cool controls all aspects of American life. Before you become ... French!

Starring Dick Bruce Cheney as Dick Danger -- he knows the warning signs when he sees them and he'll keep warning you until all hope is lost and he can say "nah, nah, nah, nah, nah!"

Featuring Karl Rove as The Brain. His only mission was to make anybody who didn't agree with his cronies look un-American. Also known as Turd Blossom, the president's dog's favorite chewy toy.

Also with Alberto Gonzales as Fredo, the not-real-bright Bush brother -- who thinks it's his turn to be in charge.

And special appearance by George W. Bush as the leader of the free world. Also known as "IDO" -- In Name Only.

Rated R for Richard Bruce Cheney

and for fear mongering

graphic torture (but it worked and we can prove it)

forced nudity

and sleep deprivation.

Remember kiddies, free waterboarding lessons will be conducted in the mezzanine before the feature.