At least it wasn’t a tax hike

Where have you gone, Gov. Mark Sanford, a nation hardly knew about you.

The South Carolina Republican was missing for five days — not even telling his wife where he was going. And she wasn’t concerned anyway.

Sanford is another GOP name floating around as a candidate for president in 2012. Who isn’t?

His claim to fame thus far is he refused the $700 million stimulus money that was targeted to improve the schools in his state.

Education and the South have always seemed like a contradicion in terms to people on both coasts anyway.

But his little hookey playing is probably going to bring him more dubious fame.

He’s just another one of those Republican family values hypocrites exposed.

The governor dad was gone from his family, which includes four kids, over the weekend — which means he missed Father’s Day.

Imagine if the same thing was done by a Democratic governor or senator. Fox News would be calling the poor schlub a “deadbeat dad.”

Turns out the governor is safe and sound and will return back to his job — which he doesn’t seem to like much anymore ‘cos he’s not running for re-election.

Seems Sanford took off hiking on the Appalacian Trail.

OK, Grizzly Adams, no one can fault you for that.

While he was off the radar, people were trying to speculate what Sanford was doing or where he went.

Just so happens, we here at BrunOpinions have a few ideas as to what Sanford was up to:

1. He was at Dick Cheney’s undisclosed location mastering the fine art of the snarl.

2. He was using some of that $700 million stimulus money on goobers and moonshine.

3. Dressed up like Gentle Ben to scare that elusive hiker vote into supporting his run for the presidency.

4. He was in Alaska consoling the Palin girls, who are still in treatment because of that old pervert David Letterman’s jokes.

5. He’s trying to become the first man elected president on the “shirking responsibility” platform.

6. He was in the hills of South Carolina rasslin’ campers who refused to call him “Supreme Leader.”

7. He had to be alone because he was so distraught over Jon and Kate’s marital problems.

8. He was getting Rush Limbaugh’s prescriptions filled.

9. He was brushing up on his yokel lessons with Mike Huckabee.

10. He wanted to spend less time with his family.

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