I’m a Republican — get me outta here!

The Republican Party is even dumber without George W. Bush leading it.

Who woulda thunk it?

Paging South Carolina Gov. Mark “Don’t Cry for me, Argentina” Sanford.

No, he wasn’t playing Kane from “Kung Fu” and practicing his inner zen on the Appalachian Trail after all.

The love gov. took off for seven days without notifying the proper channels — you know, like the lieutenant governor — just in case, oh, I don’t know, there was some catastrophe in the state.

Sanford was off down Argentina way hooking up with his babe.

This means the Republican family values guy and pappy to four boys was doing the nasty with another woman — on Father’s Day!

Well, at least he isn’t trying to make us all socialists and is timid and weak on the Iranian crisis like President Family Man.

Forget Jon and Kate we’ve got Yokelgate — the Southern gentleman who strayed.

What a goober.

Last week it was Nevada Republican Sen. John Ensign who admitted to having an extra-marital affair with a campaign staffer. Ensign may be in more hot water when it comes to ethics violations because he apparently put the son of his Main Squeeze on the payroll.

But right now Ensign is probably sending Sanford more love messages for taking the heat off of him.

It has to be like Christmas Day over at MSNBC.

Meanwhile, Fox News must be going crazy.

There has to be dozens of Karl Rove minions working double time on the talking points.

Earlier this morning when Sanford had his press conference, Fox News had his name and office title correct on the screen, but they identified him as D-S.C. — as in Democrat of South Carolina.

That was rather fairly unbalanced, even for Fox News.

Sanford left the country without formally transferring power — which leads many to believe he neglected his gubernatorial — make that goobernatorial — authority, therefore putting his state at risk.

Heck with that, lets hear the juicy stuff. And when can we see the other woman?

Sanford wept at the press conference and recited the usual ‘I let the wife down, my kids down, my staff down, my state down, my party down, my God down.’

You’ll get no sympathy here, Snarky Mark. Hypocrites are a notch below politicians — even though the two are more often than not paired up.

Speaking of pairs, Sanford and Ensign in 2012 with the slogan: “They won’t let the country down — just their pants.”

Sanford and Ensign were in the loop of potential GOP candidates for president the next go-around.

This looks like a plot to give Sarah Palin a clear path to the nomination. She doesn’t know squat about issues — but, hokey-smokes, she put David Letterman in his place!

The GOP will rise again — OK, poor choice of words when talking about extra-marital affairs — but as of now, one could see why Cheney was putting himself out there like he was the party’s bossman.

John McCain is saber-rattling over the Iran mess. If he was president he’d probably get in a fighter jet and go over there himself. Of course he’d only get shot down and captured again.

Sanford probably won’t even run for president now. He’ll likely resign as governor.

He wasn’t much of a rising star to begin with. More of a possible running mate.

Like Ensign, Sanford also voted to impeach Wild Bill Clinton, citing the need for “moral legitimacy.”

Looks like the moral high ground has claimed another hypocrite.

You’ll find them in both political parties.

You’ll know them by the salty tears they cry in public when they’re exposed.

And you won’t be able to wait to hear the jokes about them.

That’s more than they deserve.

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