Ensign pulverizer

The morally self-righteous Republican Party got a wake-up (it's time to go home to your wife) call the other day when GOP Nevada Sen. John Ensign admitted in public that he had an extramarital affair with a female campaign staffer.

Shocking. Shocking that a Washington Republican lawmaker had an affair with a woman.

Usually they fiddle about in airport mens room stalls.

Or e-mail homoerotic messages to boy pages in the Halls of Congress.

Funny that there was nary a mention Wednesday morning on Fox News about the affair. MSNBC covered the Ensign infidelity but didn't get all snarky about it. Not yet anyway.

After Democrat John Edwards confessed his naughtyness in public, Fox practically called him a "scumbucket."

OK, so he is -- but nothing of that said about Ensign by the talking Murdoch mannequins. Probably still waiting for Karl Rove's talking points before they air Ensign's dirty laundry.

Used to be the Democrats caught with women gone wild.

And they were vilified ferociously for it.

Ensign is one of those God-fearin' types who get all smug because he truly believes the Almighty is a Republican.

Ensign is also mentioned as a possible GOP presidential candidate in 2012 (along with evry other Republican who gets air time dissing Obama.)

He's one of those bozos who says "the Democrat Party" when the correct English pronunciation is "The Democratic Party."

Smug SOB.

So what now? Well, he'll have to put done that first stone he and some of his other rank and file fools want to keep casting.

At least Ensign didn't trot out the poor misses and have her stand next to him while he confessed his sin to the Big Confessional that is television.

That's what most of these guys do -- trot out the poor wife, who just stands there looking pitiful.

Just once wouldn't you like to see one of those victim wives who have to stand there and listen to their hubby talk about his indiscretion chase the guy around the podium with a butcher knife yelling "off with the other head you've been thinking with!"

So what of Ensign's future? Well, he won't resign his sSenate seat. He may be ousted as the GOP policy committee chairman.

Big woop.
He'll definitely get more air time on Fox News because that's where Republicans go to lie.
Here's a few excuses Ensign could offer up for having an affair with another woman (and please, Mr. Letterman, no seaman jokes):
1. The campaign worker showed she had the most talent on his staff.
2. It's not like his wife has cancer or anything like that.
3. Thought he was married to Hillary.
4. He was worried Barack Obama was going to win the presidency and turn us all into socialists.
5. Was turned down too many times by Anne Coulter.
6. Won Eliot Spitzer's little black book in a poker game at the Mustang Ranch.
7. Listened in on Bill O'Reilly's after-hours phone conversations.
8. Was thinking of becoming a Democrat anyway.
9. Thought that since he's an Ensign it wouldn't make any sense to become a Rear Admiral.
10. Likes saying "Torpedoes, full speed ahead!"