You can call him Al

Former comedian Al Franken, of “Saturday Night Live” fame of yesteryear, and now Senator from the sort-of-great state of Minnesota, has a liberal agenda, neo-conservatives will tell you.

Left of even — gasp! — Barack Obama.

If Fox News hasn’t already compared Franken’s win (several months after election day and many court battles later) to the bogus elections then someone is asleep at the switch over at Rupert Murdoch’s locomotive train set.

If Franken has an agenda it could include:

1. Declaring Rush Limbaugh a disaster area

2. Naming a holiday in honor of Gilda Radner (not a bad idea; she was funny)

3. Sneaking up on John McCain and thumping his earlobes

4. Having the words “I love your tan lines” engraved somewhere in the Capitol Rotunda

5. Inspiring senators to become more “snarky.”

6. Have himself sworn is as “Me, Al Franken, the 60th Democrat in the Senate who will too timid to get anything passed because I’m afraid I might feel guilty about t later.”

7. Wipe that frozen smile off Nancy Pelosi’s face.

8. Be the warm-up act at congressional hearings

9. Go on “Meet the Press” in character as Stuart Smiley and convince host David Gregory that it’s “OK if you look like a puppet.”

10. Wear a Norm Coleman mask the first day in the Senate and go up to Republicans and say: “Fooled ya!”

Since Republican South Carolina Luv Gov. Mark “Sparky” Sanford keeps adding fuel to his already hot extramarital affair scandal, he deserves to be ridiculed.

Sanford said his affair (of the heart) with the spicy Argentine Maria not only included rendezvous in her home country, but even on a few occasions in New York City.

The luv guv even admitted he crossed the line with a few other women — but not for s-e-x.

Unfortunate for those women, who just didn’t measure up to being a potential “soul mate.”

Sanford was thought by some to possess presidential timber.

He’s a toothpick now.

Sanford could resign tomorrow, and by this time next month he could be a contributing voice of Republican reasoning featured prominently on Fox News.

Just like Karl Rove and the Newtster.

Fox hires all those shady characters.

Sanford could have a segment called the Gringo Gaucho where he recites poetry of the e-mail kind for lonely spouses of politicians.

He’ll also be available to criticize the next Democratic senator or governor to be caught with his hand in the honey pot.

He can speak from experience. And compare notes.

He could bring his spiritual adviser along to remind the audience that hypocrasy is not a sin if you do it right — and get away with it.

And to remind everybody to never forget that GOP is just a few letters short of GOD.

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