The quitter

Sarah “I’m outta here” Palin took aim at her critics for criticizing her for quitting her job as governor of Alaska.

This birdbrain wants to be president and she can’t even finish the job Alaskans elected her to complete.

If you can’t stand the heat, move to Alaska in January.

But it’s the media’s fault.

They made fun of her unwed daughter. After Palin herself paraded poor Bristol around on the “abstinence makes the heart grow ‘fondler’ tour.”

It’s always the media’s fault.

True, the media was relentless in their assaults on Palin.

One of the many things Palin never learned was not to bait the media.

They always get the last word.

Like wives in marriages.

Now the Alaskan Avalance of Awesomeness says there’s a “higher calling” for her to unite the nation along conservative lines.

Ya, the “higher calling” is coming from on high. It’s Rupert Murdoch.

You don’t have to be a soothsayer to know Palin is going to end up on Murdoch’s Fox News in some sort of TV capacity — whether it be a contributing commentator on Hannity’s show, or a show of her own.

If Fox News had any cajones, they’d give Palin her own show and run her up against MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow.

It’s only a matter of time when Palin gets on Fox to read talking points from her obvious new mentor, Karl Rove, already a Fox News stableboy cleaning up the horse puckey Murdoch digests.

Rove and other haters of diversity like Ari Fleicher, Liz Cheney, and maybe even Daddy Dick, will be in charge of the Palin makeover.

You can almost see all of these characters in Cheney’s undisclosed dungeon where Palin is hooked up to all these gizmos like the robot woman in Fritz Lang’s silent film classic “Metropolis.”

It won’t be easy. Remember, Sarah is a maverick. Until she’s told what to do.

But Rove and Cheney want back in the game so they can rig it.

They need another George W. A brainless twit who was completely satisfied with having the title.

Someone who will speak the words he couldn’t come up with even if he did pay attention or really cared about what was going on.

But over the next few years, they’ll invest their time and other peoples’ money in a hockey mom with homespun sayings that made her instantly loveable in real America.

And Fox News will be the Cape Canaveral for her launching pad.

Fox will create its own presidential candidate by 2012.

They only had their foot in the door with George W. (who left office with his foot in his mouth)

With Palin the possibilities are endless for the so-called news organization. It already has experience as her press secretary.

No conservative radio talk show for this monstrosity.

Lipstick on a pitbull has to be seen to be misunderstood.

Here are some of the other reasons never divulged why Palin is stepping down as governor of Alaska:

1. Didn’t want to be a lame duck governor, wanted to concentrate instead on being a lame candidate for president.

2. Got jealous of the media picking on South Carolina Gov. Mark “I love your tan lines” Sanford when they should be picking on her.

3. Thought the public was tired of hearing about Michael Jackson this and Michael Jackson that.

4. Wants to earn more respect from the nation by settling the feud between Jon and Kate.

5. Plans a spectacular pay-per-view event about things she can see from her house.

6. Finally has time to read a newspaper or two.

7. Go to Washington and demand to speak to him.

8. Take some of that stimulus money she rejected and spend it on moose jerky and Yoo-Hoo.

9. Catch Bin Laden

10. Talk Romney into running as her VP so they can use the slogan “Nitwit and Mitt.” Or “Mormon and Moron.” or ” Rich and —— ” you get the point.

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9 Responses to The quitter

  1. Chris Moran says:

    >They always get the last word.
    >Like wives in marriages.

    Ooooooooooooooo, John, your going to get some email!


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