First pitch

President Obama threw out the first pitch at the All-Star Game on Tuesday night in St. Louis.

Since the game was telecast on the Fox channel (a sister company of you-know-who) they showed the prez wind up and throw really overhand — but it didn’t show the follow through.

You know, where it landed, whether it even crossed home plate or into the catcher’s mit or to the backstop.

Fox News will jump on this like a bench clearing brawl on the pitcher’s mound.

You can almost write their headline: “Muslim throws like a girl.”

Rush “Jabba the Butt” Limbaugh will devote time on his radio blabbercast saying it was a ‘Democrat’ Party/White House conspiracy making sure the camera stayed on the prez just to be safe in case the toss was wimpy and all of America would see.

Ya, Obama is controlling every part of American life — banks, health care, so why not the Great American Pastime?

At least George W. could throw out a first pitch — and he ran the Texas Rangers baseball team before running it out of a big inning and into the ground.

Ol’ Triple Play Bush himself. No one saw that coming: he was a failure at running a Major League Baseball team, what could possibly make anybody think he would do the same thing if youwe put him in charge of the country.

Legend had it that had W. been named baseball commissioner like he always dreamed of becoming, he never would’ve run for president.

Consider the possibilities.

Come to think of it, W. did run the country like a baseball commissioner — in a strike-shortened year with replacement players.

Speaking of strikes —- “Obama throws baseball like he bowls” could be another Fox headline.

Surprisingly, Fox News didn’t demand a Republican response to the president’s first pitch.

You know, bring in Bobby Jindal — or better yet Mitt Romney, since we’re talking baseball.

At least have Sarah Palin do an inning or two of play-by-play.

She could bring a rifle with her into the booth with and try to shoot the fouled-off pitches that go sailing into the stands.

Dick Cheney could be on hand supporting, of course, the American League. He could have a mole placed in the National League dugout to mislead the players about strategy.

Ya, The Beast is in the news again, reports claim he ordered the CIA to withhold covert plans from Congress.

Apparently he ran a secret counterterrorism program complete with assassination teams.

Good thing that team didn’t take the field at the All-Star Game.

But then again, the National League has got to start winning these games so the NL Champs can finally get home field advantage for the World Series.

Unless of course it’s the Cubs.

Home field doesn’t matter.

And they don’t need assassins.

They always end up shooting themselves in the foot anyway.

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2 Responses to First pitch

  1. Jimmy B says:

    I wasn’t really paying attention to where the pitch landed – I was distracted by all of the booing that was going on. But you probably thought the crowd was yelling “Boog!” in honor of former all-star Boog Powell. They weren’t. By the way, in case you are interested, “Obam the Man” bounced it in front of home plate. Fortunately he had the good sense to use a first baseman as his catcher. Pujols made a nice scoop. That’s what all-stars do.

    I was going to be offended when you called Rush “Jabba the Butt”, but I imagine that it is common for rivals like you and Rush to trade playful barbs with each other. But watch out – once your blog starts getting 20 million hits a week, Rush is likely to come after you!

  2. Paul C in PA says:

    John,

    If Jabba comes after you — I’ve got your back.

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