‘Urban’ renewal

The Urban Dictionary’s series of new words and terms are a hoot.

It even has a term inspired by the soon-to-be ex-governor of Alaska.

The term is “Pullin’ a Palin” — which the dictionary describes as “quitting when the going gets tough; abandoning the responsibility entrusted to you by your neighbors for book advances and to make money on the lecture circuit.”

The dictionary didn’t go as far as to come up with the term “Pullin’ a Sanford” — which could take on several meanings at once. And none of them clean.

Here are some other terms the dictionary could’ve included:

1. Cheneylink: The process of linking someone to under-handed, unconstitutional, shady, covert crimes without the need of six degrees of separation.

2. Sarandonites: Named for the grand dame of cougarness, actress Susan Sarandon. It refers to older women who prey on younger men — especially older actresses whose careers are sagging faster than their mams and are consequently desperate for any kind of publicity.

Cougar is played — and rather mean. Sarandonites makes it sound like more of a following — a religious experience —- instead of images of women prowling in packs.

3. Cher-holders: The younger men who willingly become the boy toys of older women.

4. Oedipus-whipped: Married guys who don’t get any sex anymore because their wives have turned into their new mommies.

These guys scoff at the honey-do lists but always end up doing what they’re told — and put up with getting scolded, even in front of the kids. Mainly because they’ve become part Homer and part Bart Simpson.

5. Midnight express: Term used for a person who finally gets to sleep early one night, only to be awakened by a sudden attack of the runs.

6. Touch base: The phrase everyone who owns a cell phone must use or else God will strike them dead.

7. Committing Harry Caray: Term for obnoxious die-hard Chicago Cubs fans who could just kill themselves every year when their hapless team blows it.

8. NRA-B.C.: Stands for National Rifle Association, Before Christ. Used by NRA members so paranoid that Obama is going to take away their guns they result to saying things like: If guns were available in the Old Testament, Moses would’ve been packin.’ And we don’t mean Charlton Heston!”

9. Court is in Sessions: Term used for a backwoods Southern lawyer who couldn’t get confirmed 20 years ago as a federal judge because even his own political party thought he was a racist. Now he’s in the position of accusing a Supreme Court nominee of reverse racism. Named for Republican Senator Jeff Sessions of Alabama.

10. Gasoweenie: The buttwipe who is at the gas pump next to you who has the music coming from his car blasting so loud it could wake the dead.

11. Moonbased: Term for someone who gets upset over tiny things that don’t work and blames American ingenuity for getting too soft, and, to back up his discontent, uses the cliched phrase: “We could put a man on the moon, but we can’t….”

12. Coffee mug: The prototypical sour-puss of the workplace who is always in a bad mood until he has his first cup of coffee.

13. Undercover cover-up: Term can be applied for actresses on TV shows who always seem to be wearing too much when shown in bed. Inspired by Helen Hunt’s character on the TV show “Mad About You.”

Reaffirms the theory that the more you sleep with the same woman, the more clothes she wears to bed.

14. Dangling participle: When someone you’re talking to face-to-face has a booger dangling at the base of a nostril but doesn’t know it.

15. Stats: The guy at the workplace or at a party who knows everything about every sport and always turns the conversation to that because he thinks he can even impress people with his knowledge of curling.

16. Blogmongers: People who respond to blogs with disdain and insults because the blogger doesn’t see the world the way they do.

17. Onegendering: Term can be applied for the left wingnuts who think career titles for women are insulting so they man-size them.

Examples: Women who head organizations or meetings are not chairwomen, they’re referred to as chairmen. But the most annoying is that actress is apparently archaic, so women are now called “actors” or “female actor.”

18. Das Bootycall: A movie that tries too hard to please everybody, but fails miserably on every level. It’s as if the German U-boat drama “Das Boot” and the comedy “Booty Call” merged into one movie.

19. Vagina monologers: What babies would tell everybody if they could talk as soon as they’re born.

20. Venus envy: What Serena Williams goes through when her sister beats her in tennis.

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