Palin job offers

“Beware of the military industrial complex.”

Dwight Eisenhower

“Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”

John F. Kennedy

“Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.”

Ronald Reagan

“We eat, therefore we hunt.”

Sarah Palin

Not exactly words that will go down in American history.

Kids won’t be studying Palin’s quittin’ as governor of Alaska speech in schools.

Historians certainly won’t be going through each word with the precision of a surgeon to find out what was going through her mind at the time she said it.

So maybe Sarah Palin’s calling wasn’t to be just governor of Alaska (for a coupla years before she went quittin’ so she can better serve the people of Alaska.)

Maybe she was meant to be governor for two years or so and then eventually run for president.

President Obama was in the Senate for just as long as Palin was governor before he started his bid for the White House.

Or just maybe she wasn’t meant to be in politics after all.

She’s definitely not in office anymore, but it’ll be a cold day in Alaska when you can’t see Russia from a meth lab in Wasilla if Palin is gonna quit being a politician for real Americans in real America.

In the meantime, the job offers keep rolling in for that Awesome Alaskan Avalance of Attention.

Some good. Ah, some not so good:

1. Launch a new fragrance with her name attached to it: “Scent of Hockey Mom.”

2. Interpret the Bush Doctrine in several foreign languages and then do an interview with Katie Couric and moon her.

3. Track down President Obama’s real birth certificate.

4. Dress up as St. Pauli Girl and bartend at the White House when Obama, Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates and Cambridge, Mass. police Sgt. James Crowley have that beer together.

5. Warn familes across the nation to “Beware of ShamWow imitators!”

6. Get a carload of tiny Hollywood starlets and infiltrate that house on C Street in D.C. where hypocritical Republican lawmakers who promote morality set up extramarital affairs.

7. Show up every night on Sean Hannity’s Fox News Channel show and watch him act and look like a tween girl at a Jonas Brothers concert.

8. Star in Scorsese’s remake of “Madame Curie.”

9. Get that annoying wink operated on.

10. Do a commercial for TV singing “The future’s so bright I gotta wear Lens Crafter’s sunglasses.”

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7 Responses to Palin job offers

  1. EddieTheHat626 says:

    How about she get a job at Taco Bell?

  2. Bucky says:

    >>EddieTheHat626 said: How about she get a job at Taco Bell?

    Yeah, Eddie. I heard their chihuahua died.

  3. MJP says:

    Before you worry about Sarah’s next job, why don’t you focus on becoming a better writer? These jokes are stupid, unfunny and unbecoming. Sarah for President!!

  4. EddieTheHat626 says:

    Yeah! Sarah for President and Rush Limbaugh could be the VP on the ticket! The Republicans are in such disarray right now the mention of anyone of them is the real joke!

  5. MJP says:

    Politics is cyclical…the democrats, who are really ALWAYS a joke, will be perceived to be such once more in the near future. Obama is pathetic and the world is starting to notice. Sarah for president and Rush for VP!!

  6. Bucky says:

    > MJP said: … Sarah for president and Rush for VP!!

    Octomom for Homeland Security.

  7. naturally like your website but you have to take a look at the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very bothersome to tell the truth nevertheless I will definitely come again again.

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