The good news is the two U.S. journalists held in North Korea have been freed — thanks to good ol’ Bubba diplomacy.
The bad news is they have to fly back to the states on the same jet as former President Bill Clinton.
“Mile-high club, baby. Bubba like mile-high club.”
So how will the right wingnuts, Jabba the Butt Limbaugh, and Fox News spin this positive story into a negative?
Here’s how, fellow patriots:
1. President Obama had nothing to do with it. He thought Bubba was going over to North Korea to secure his “true” birth certificate.
2. Obama let North Korean leader Kim Jong Il look like a hero to his own communist cut-throats.
3. Obama and Kim are in this together to make Obama look good.
4. Hillary wasn’t sent to do a “man’s” job. Wait, that would be the topic on “The View.”
5. The journalists, Laura Ling and Euna Lee, worked for the San-Francisco-based station Current TV run and owned by —- guess who —- Al Gore.
Jabba will have a field day with this for his 20 million brainwashed followers, not called Ditto-heads on this blog, but rather Butt-plugs:
“My fellow citizens, I won’t spare you the Gore-y details, because these two global warming liberal reporters were over there in North Korea to trade secrets with Kim Jong Il and act like they were hostages.
“There was no demand for their release. That’s because they were sent by Obama to reassure Kim Jong Il that America is going to hell in a hand basket because of this president and his socialized medicine man plan and cash for clunkers for drunkards. And Kim Jong Il and his bloodhounds can attack our sacred land whenever they’re ready.”
6. Southern lawmakers in the House and Senate in a panic over their Diversityphobia will say the women were rescued because they’re not white. And that if they were blonde they’d be left there to be sex slaves.
Sidebar: If they were blonde, they probably would’ve thought they were in North Dakota.
7. The journalists wanted to get captured because they couldn’t stand to listen to Al Gore anymore.
8. Clinton did it because he’s tired of listening to Al Gore say, “You owe me, turkey!”
9. Clinton keeps trying to convince the world he still has it and was just showing off so he can get some chubby intern to do the nasty with him.
10. No matter what, Bubba will never be one of Bill O’Reilly’s “Patriots.” But how do those gals feel about falafels?