The making of a foreign-born president

It started in 1961, the first year of the Kennedy administration.

JFK and his brother Bobby had this brilliant idea of how to help the Civil Rights movement — but it would take some time.

Their master plan: For America not only to elect its first black president — but a man who was both African-American and foreign born.

The plan would take years — JFK and Bobby figured maybe as many as 45 to 50 years. As Bobby said to Jack at the time, “What are the chances we’re going to be alive 50 years from now anyway.”

The Kennedy brothers would choose a newborn child and educate him in their liberal ways from the get-go.

But what child?

They thought for hours on end.

Then JFK remembered a white woman who was a favorite of Frank Sinatra’s Rat Pack —- especially of Sammy Davis Jr.

She was from somewhere in the Midwest.

So JFK got in touch with Ol’ Blue Eyes and Sinatra got the Mafia to track her down.

The young woman was living in Kenya with her black husband. She had recently given birth to a child — a baby boy.

Perfect, JFK and Bobby thought.

They had to keep the plot a secret. They knew they couldn’t move the couple to D.C. Sure, JFK had the press eating out of his hand, but he wasn’t going to take any chances.

The Kennedys eventually settled on moving the couple to Hawaii. They knew the couple could keep the top secret because who woas going to believe them if they told the truth?

The Chosen One’s education was secretle funded by the Kennedys over the years. The mantle was picked up by brother Teddy after his brothers were assassinated.

Because Teddy was also a surrogate dad to JFK’s kids, the surrogate love child was sent to live — off and on — in foreign countries, where he got a taste of what it was like to be influenced by anti-Americanism.

But he also learned how to cleverly disguise his real disdain for what America is capable of.

The apt pupil eventually excelled at Harvard —– also known to the elite as Kennedy University.

He was a quick study among the homegrown terrorists who wanted America to explode in the 1960s —- retribution for the assassinations of the Kennedys and Dr. King.

Through them, the Chosen One learned vengeance —- but to keep it penned up until the time was necessary.

Later he would be introduced to the Rev. Wright, whose religion is not the Good Book, but audacity.

Becoming a community organizerwas a way for the Chosen One to learn how to deal with the fringe elements of society who want to destroy white people.

He would enter politics but lose a congressional race. He would quickly learn from his mistakes.

The Chose One was again mentored by his Uncle Teddy, who had the power to get him the plum job of keynote speaker at the 2004 Democratic Convention.

It was a piece of cake for the Chosen One, who easily overshadowed the Democratic lamb to the slaughter, the other senator from Massachusetts, John Kerry.

There was no stopping the Chosen One now. Winning the Senate seat in Illinois in 2004 was a snap —- especially since the dead still vote like they did in 1960 to put JFK in the White House.

The next prize was the presidency. The Chosen one had the audacity, the charisma, the super hero image as a change agent.

After securing the nomination, the Chosen One needed a treasure trove of a trifecta to secure his path to the presidency.
Three things needed to happen:
1. George W. Bush had to have screwed up so bad — have the worst presidency on record since Herbert Hoover.
Check.
2. The GOP had to nominate the oldest candidate who admitted he didn’t know much about the economy and, as luck would have it, hope that Wall Street would go into freefall.
Check.
3. The GOP presidential candidate had to pick as a running mate the dimmest bulb on the Christmas tree —- someone who would make Dan Quayle look like Socrates.
Mission accomplished!
The Chosen One was chosen.
The ultimate vindication for the turbulent 1960s in America that claimed the Kennedy brothers.
Now Teddy, the last man barely standing, needs one last favor from the Chosen One to complete the legacy: Pass a health care bill.
Just when you thought nothing could stop the Chosen One — this may be his downfall.
Frightened people are rising up at town hall meetings everywhere protesting the Chosen One’s health care plan.
Sarah Palin says the Chosen One’s health care plan is “downright evil.”
More fear, please.
Hell with that, let’s get out there and bust some heads!
Extremism in the defense of a health care bill that wants to kill Granny is no vice.
Certainly no one born in the U.S.A. would unleash such a rabid plan on unsuspecting Americans.
Well, unsuspecting no more.
Birthers demand to see the Chosen One’s birth certificate.
Where is it?
Bin Laden has it.
That was the secret deal the Chosen One made with the devil in case the Kennedy plan went belly up.
Find Bin Laden and you’ll find the Chosen One’s birth certificate.
To quote Leslie Nielsen in “Airplane!”: “Good luck, we’re all counting on you.”

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3 Responses to The making of a foreign-born president

  1. MJP says:

    The dumbest bulb in the blogging world?

    Easy: John Bruno, accomplished COPY EDITOR for TWO newspapers!!

  2. prolaw says:

    A whole lot of nothing in this article. Who paid this guy off to write this article. Maybe the Healthcare industry?

  3. paul C in PA says:

    Johnny,

    A brilliant piece of satire…Just too bad some can’t see it.

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