The Death Panel Show

A recent poll conducted by ABC or somebody showed that 45 percent polled believe that the Obama health care plan would indeed feature death panels.

People, seriously, WTF.

This begs the question, who would head the death panels?

Would there be a Secretary of Death Panels?

A Death Panel Czar?

That sounds more creepy. More sadistic. More ominous.

Only one man fits that bill.. You guessed it —- Dick Cheney.

The Death Panel would naturally become a TV reality show.

The show would air once a week on Sundays on any of the three major TV networks because they’re all liberal anyway.

Regular panel members would include Bill Clinton (he’s got some axes to grind), Howard Dean (going after that nasty media who he still blames for his outburst during the 2004 Democratic Primaries), and Nancy Pelosi (revenge for all those government-types who always lie to her.)

And every week the fourth panelist would be a famous person from sports or show business.

The Death Panel would be a game show —- ripped off from the old “What’s My Line?” program. Only with more dire consequences.

Old people would sign in please and it would be up to the panel to guess what the codgers were once useful for before they became dispensible and opposed Obamacare.

Since many were probably housewives, the panel would have to guess what their hobby was or what charity they belonged to. Things of that nature.

If the contestants get by two rounds of questioning, they get to choose how they want to die.

Should they fail to get by the two rounds of questioning, they will spin the Big Government Wheel of Misfortune, and wherever it lands, that’s how the government will decide their fate.

Really a win-win situation for the Death Panel, when you think about it.

They could never run out of contestants —– especially since the first season would be telecast from Florida.

Advertising would be a snap, since the pharmaseutical companies make a bundle trying to keep people living longer so the corporations can make more money on medicine.

Leave it to Big Pharma to find a way to advertise even on a government-run deadly TV game show.

Products that would soften the blow of the death panel’s decisions.

“Try Diequil —– for that smooth transition from life to death. Now available is chewable apple sauce and tapioca.”

Right now anybody who believes that death panels would be a reality needs a reality check.

See if the big insurance companies cover that.

Heaven knows they could convince these ignorant douchebags they should have a reality check every six months or so.

They’d even have a product for that:

“Sarah-fin. Whenever you’re ailin’ and bailin’ like a Palin. For use only for people who actually believe they can see another country from their house.”

Say “ahhhhhhh,” cousins……

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