Disney bought Marvel Comics for $4 billion last week.
When you wish upon a star ….. makes a difference who you are with that kind of money.
Of course, there have been ideas floating out there on the InterWeb as to what would happen if the two companies really merged and created off-the-wall story lines. Such as:
1. Cinderella tells all: The tabloids get first-hand info from the WASP (White Anglo Saxon Princess) herself confessing that her honeymoon night with the Hulk fell far short of being incredible. The Hulk then goes ballistic and turns Tomorrowland into the Paleozoic Era.
2. Fairy tales can come true: While battling Captain Hook on the banks of San Francisco Bay, Iron Man finds true romance with an enemy pirate and announces to the world he’s coming out and changing his name to Tinker Bell.
3. The Right Stuff: Marvel introduces their newest superheroes: The Radical Right Wing-Nuts, who have the power to brainwash people with their fear sensors that flow from their eyes and zap the brain power of vulnerable Americans.
The Wing-Nuts’ motto: “Half truths, white heat justice, and the American Christian Way.”
Their first assignment is to expose Snow White for co-habitating in a pre-marital, polygamist relationship with seven male dwarfs: Dopey, Sneezy, Happy, Doc, Bashful, George, and Ringo.
4. The Deer Hunter, Part II: The Fantastic Four are rushed into service to capture and bring to justice The Rogue Republican, who, after relinquishing her former superheroine title as Governor Quitter, still used the government-owned helicopter when she gunned down Bambi’s mother from the air.
5. Surf’s up: The Little Mermaid lobs a paternity suit at the Silver Surfer for getting her preggers and making her the new Octomom.
6. Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson: Spider-man is captured by Cougar-extraordinaire Cruella De Vil and forced to be her love god.
Since Spidey is such a young stud, we eventually discover why Cruella’s new moniker is “Old Yeller.”
7. American Duty: Captain America joins the Republican Party when he uncovers the truth behind Obama-man’s health care plan: The mastermind was none other than, say it with me, children, Goofy.
In observance of Labor Day, the least popular jobs any American can do without:
1. Rush Limbaugh’s towel boy.
2. Future son-in-law of Sarah Palin.
3. Liza Minnelli’s straight husband.
4. Dick Cheney’s human rights advisor.
5. Glenn Beck’s analyst