The week in review

Blame it on Rio

Fox Noose and Jabba the Butt Limbaugh immediately started gloating when Chicago was eliminated in the first round of voting in Copenhagen to host the 2016 Summer Olympics.

They were of course celebrating President Obama failing to bring the Olympics back to America. After he went to Copenhagen in person to personally push for his hometown.

Never mind that a president would go anywhere in the world to promote the United States of America.

More importantly, let’s forget the fact that the Olympics in Chicago would produce thousands of jobs for Americans —- starting tomorrow.

It’s paramount that this president fail.

How un-American.

Coming up next on Fox Noose, Glenn Beck tells his stooges why Obama really went to Copenhagen.

The other night, Fox Noose’s Minister of Propaganda, “Goebbels” Beck, went even further off the deep end than usual (he does continue to top himself, give him that). Anticipating an Obama victory for Chicago at the Olympics, Nutsy Fagen produced a can of Copenhagen snuff, pointing to the fact that the can contains the Surgeon General’s warning that it can cause cancer.

“Cancer,” Nutsy said.

Get the point? Obama is in Copenhagen. There is a product called Copenhagen snuff that can cause cancer. Either Obama causes cancer or Nutsy is using the word “snuff” to mean “snuff somebody out.” With all the whack jobs in the militia states who beckon to Beck’s every call, that could be scary.

The guys in the white coats were just about ready to take him away, but decided against it because you want to hire at least one insane person on your network because they are fun to watch sinking deeper and deeper into the abyss.

One could almost expect this from Nutsy now that Chicago got bounced from the Olympic games:

President Obama’s trip to Copenhagen wasn’t a total loss. While there, he secretly snuck off to Zurich to meet with his mentor —– Roman Polanski, to promise him he won’t be extradicted to the U.S.

Reasons why Chicago was dumped on to host the 2016 Summer Olympics:

1. Oprah didn’t buy all the judges cars.

2. Obama was impressive —- but the judges wanted to see “Death Panels” Palin promotin’ the Olympics for star-spangled real America.

3. Not enough dead voters on the Olympic panel to put Chicago over the top.

4. Duh. More hot babes in Rio.

5. The judges saw a Cubs game.

Daring Democrat

Finally a Democrat with some stones.

Florida Congressman Alan Grayson stood on the House floor on Tuesday and ripped the Republicans a new one.

Grayson announced what he saw as the GOP’s health care plan: “Don’t get sick. And if you do get sick. Die quickly.”

He referred to the Republicans in the House and Senate as “knuckle-dragging knuckleheads.”

As David Letterman would say: “It’s like I have a twin.”

Naturally the Republicans threw another one of their frequent hissy fits.

They called for Grayson to apologize on the House floor.

They called what the congressman did “a breach of decorum.”

Hello, Mr. Wilson!

Where were these jamokes when Congressman Joe “You Lie” Wilson embarrassed the country with his pre-meditated outburst when President Obama spoke to a joint session of Congress?

Or other Republicans who were saying Obamacare wants to pull the plug on Granny?

Speaking of health care, doctors take the Hippocratic oath.

When Republicans are sworn in they take the hypocritic oath.

Eventually Grayson apologized —– to the 44,989 Americans who will die this year because they have no health care coverage.

Grayson will be targeted every which way but loose by Fox Noose and their cowardly leader, Jabba the Butt.

But the Democrats need more people like Grayson to speak out. Sure, what he said was nonsense —- but lately nonsense has overshadowed common sense with many Americans —– courtesy of cable news networks.

And they’re not making any sense at all.

Traitor of the week

Last week’s winner was “Death Panels” Palin for bad-mouthing the president of the United States while she was on foreign soil (in Hong Kong.)

This week it’s one GOP Sen. Jim DeMint of South Carolina (what is it with that state? Let’s let it secede from the Union; we’ll replace it with Puerto Rico.)

Jim Dandy believes he’s coming to the rescue by traveling to Honduras to tell the coup leaders to resist the policies of the American government.

He deserves to be taken hostage. And the American government shouldn’t pay his ransom or attempt to negotiate his release (trying to talk to our enemies is weak.)

Hey, hint of DeMint: Here’s a bumper sticker slogan from your party’s Richard Nixon Silent Majority fascists of the 1970s: “America —- Love it or Leave it.”

And don’t come back.

Berserko Bachmann

Minnesota GOP Congresswoman Michele “They’re coming to take me away, ha, ha” Bachmann was let loose among the normal public again and blurted out a new one: This time health clinics in schools are, according to her, “sex clinics.”

This is where our daughters will go to have forced abortions (while in school, mind you) and then go home at the end of the day without parents ever finding out what went down.

Bachmann is the face of health care in America —- mental health care gone berserko grande.

Write a book before reading one

Pre-order sales for “Death Panels” Palin’s memoirs are selling like moose chips at a Wasilla meth rave.
Proves once and for all people just can’t get enough of fiction.
Not much is known about the intimate details of the book, except:
1. The forward was written by the hand of God.
2. She worked on the book and quit halfway through. The book was finished by Ann Coulter and a chimpanzee.
3. Her favorite movie is “Eraserhead.”
4. One chapter of the book was left out: “The best wines that go with fried endangered species.”
5. Hubby Todd taught her fancy pageant walkin.’
6. Everytime she looked over at Joe Biden during their debate he groped himself.
7. John McCain smells like a combination of sulpher and Thousand Island dressing.
8. President Obama isn’t as uppity as people make him out to be.
9. Her nickname for Sean Hannity is “Toodles.”
10. The original title for her memoirs was “If God is a Woman, it Must Be Me!”

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