McMasterpieces

Do you want fries with that Rembrandt?

Last week it was announced that a McDonald’s would be opening next to the Louvre in Paris.

The museum that houses the greatest masterpieces of art created throughout the centuries will now also offer America’s most celebrated fast food of the last 50 something years.

What can we expect when such iconoclasts merge? Events the Louvre would say “sacre bleu!” to:

1. Da Vinci’s “The Last Supper” now featuring Chicken McNuggets.

2. Venus de Milo’s tough day working the cash register.

3. Golden Arches enhancing van Gogh’s “Terrasse de Cafe” (Google it).

4. Mona Lisa’s weekend with Mayor McCheese puts an everlasting smile on her face.

5. Michelangelo’s “The Creation of Mickey D’s” depicting the hand of God giving a menu to Ray Kroc.

6. Ronald McDonald, the inspiration behind Picasso’s lesser-known clown portraits.

7. Andy Warhol’s fondness for Big Macs, and the sandwich of the same name.

8. Salvador Dali’s LSD nightmare on canvass depicting the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse battling a mammoth runny Egg McMuffin that’s seeping over the Vatican.

9. Why some of Georgia O’Keeffe’s paintings are more suitable for Taco Bell.

10. “It’s Mr. Reubens at the take-out window again, orderingall the quarter-pounders with cheese for his models.”

Say no more:

The word “whatever” was recently voted the most annoying and overused word or phrase.

Other contenders:

a. It is what it is

b. At the end of the day

A few more that were somehow left off the list:

1. It’s all good (used by anyone who isn’t completely satisfied with what’s going on in any given situation, but is trying to put a positive spin on it)

2. The new normal (overused by politicians to describe an issue they think they’re out in front of and the public supports)

3. The gift that keeps on giving (comics use this phrase to describe politicians who keep giving them material, like W., Bill Clinton and “Death Panels” Palin)

4. I got no dog in this fight (overused in contests, usually political, when it’s easier for someone just to say they’re neutral)

5. I’ll let you go (used when someone wants to subtley tell someone they’re tired of talking to them on the phone)

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One Response to McMasterpieces

  1. bucky says:

    >> 2. Venus de Milo’s tough day working the cash register.

    Sublime.

    – Bucks

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