Jabba the Butt Limbaugh was bragging in a TV interview when asked about the rise of fellow fanatic, Fox Noose’s Minister of Propaganda Glenn “Goebbls” Beck.
“Look at what I spawned,” The Butt gloated.
Give credit where credit is due. Jabba is ogre enough to admit that even lunatics need variety.
Not to worry, Butt-pluggers, Jabba still be number one.
Look at it like Jabba as the original and Beckerhead is the spinoff.
Beckerhead is “The Jetsons” to Jabba’s “The Flintstones.”
Jabba is “All in the Family” (there’s a kindred spirit there somewhere) to Beckerhead’s “Maude” (“The Jeffersons” would be the first spin-off to come to mind in this case, but for obvious reasons….)
The two could become the newest best buddies —– and even make buddy flicks. But not in Hollywood, where men are men and women are lonely. Maybe somewhere more conservative, like Branson, Missouri.
Here are some film remakes the two could consider:
1. “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.” Jabba would have to be the lead, although he may have second thoughts when it’s hard to figure out who of the two are more “Butch.”
2. “The Defiant Ones.” This was a great movie with Sidney Poitier and Tony Curtis as escaped convicts chained together fighting each other more than running from the law. Great for it’s time (1957) because it addressed racial tension in a stark way.
But now with the new two superstars of conservatism, the plot line has to be changed. It’s simple this time (they have to play to their fan base) it’s all about the two of them controlling the Republican Party and keeping them defiant by saying no to everything The New Man wants done.
3. “The Blues Brothers.” Jabba and Beckerhead are right at home in Chicago as Jake and Elwood —– but this time they try to connect the city’s favorite son, the Antichrist in the White House, to all organized crime going on.
The script, like everything they report, is made up as they go along. They do perform some tunes, like the “Peter Gunn Theme” at an NRA Convention where they are awarded the First Annual Dick Cheney Straight Shooter award.
Ironically, or maybe just a blessing in disguise, the song “Think” (made famous by Aretha Franklin in the movie) sung for this movie by “Death Panels” Palin, ended up on the cutting-room floor.
4. “Midnight Cowboy.” The Bad Boys decided it’s best to turn this one down, since it was about homelessness and compassion. And revisionists are adding a gay theme to it as well. Although Jabba likes the name of one of the characters, “Ratso.” Reminds him of his nickname from his school days. And that was from the girls.
Jabba and Beckerhead decided to give this one to Bill Clinton as Joe “one hell of a stud” Buck and, as Ratso Rizzo, Barney Frank.
5. “Bedtime for Bonzo.” The totally forgotten buddy picture that starred Ronald Reagan and a chimpanzee.
Doesn’t matter between Jabba and Beckerhead who plays what role.
Meantime, the conservative (bowel) movement of Liz Cheney, Michele “They’re Coming to take me Away, ha, ha” Bachmann and the entire Fox Noose team will hassle Hollywood and even form a tea party with vigilant signs and everything until the movie industry recognizes Reagan’s monkey picture as one of the American Film Institutes 100 best comedies.
Remakes in production:
1. John McCain and Dick Cheney in “Grumpy Old Men, the Redemption”
2. South Carolina Gov. Mark “Love your tan lines” Sanford and his Argentina babe on location on the Old Appalachian Trail for the remake of “In the Heat of the Night.”
3. John Edwards in “Three babies and a Man”
4. Britney Spears exiting car after car for nights out in the documentary “Commando.”
5. Levi Johnston’s filming of his posing nude in “The Thing.”