Lou Jobs

There is hope for CNN after all.

Loopy Lou Dobbs, the cantankerous anti-immigration blowhard, resigned from doing his full of crap daily show.

Everybody, over the fence on the count of tres.

The CNN anchorhead vowed to still be heard commenting on controversial issues of the day.

He said he plans to go to another cable news outlet.

Could it be…. Fox Noose?

The Murdoch domain could have quite a quartet: Dobbs, Baba O’Reilly, Sean Insanity and Glenn “Goebbels” Beck.

The Mount Rushmore of racists.

Maybe not. How about these potential career moves:

1. Obama administration appointee as ambassador to Mexico.

2. CEO of Taco Bell.

3. The role of Bernardo in a theater-in-the-round version of “West Side Story.”

4. Public relations guru for Balloon Boy. First up, a Balloon Boy float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

5. Larry King’s towel boy.

6. Damage control expert for ex-Miss California Carrie Prejean.

7. Dick Cheney’s hunting companion.

8. An Ed McMahon-type announcer for Sarah Palin when she gets her own TV talk show.

9. Voice-over for Northwest Airlines commercials with its new slogan: “Over-flying the friendly skies.”

10. Run for mayor of D.C. so you can spin on the classic Ricky Nelson song in a campaign ad: “Hello, Mayor Lou ….”

CNN no doubt hounded Dobbs off the network. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

For the last several months he’s been acting like a Fox Noose wannabe. Beckerwood was on CNN before Fox saw that his looney tune image was going to waste, so they snapped him up.

Dobbs would put his neck on the line at the Noose in a minute.

Is there room for another onionhead in the human vegetable garden?

Fox really doesn’t need Dobbs. It pulled a coup when it got the maniac Beckerwood to come over to the Much Darker Side to articulate the popular rage.

One more in the stable of the unstable would be overkill.

Dobbs comes off like a pale imitation of Beckerhead —– and that ought to make you proud, Lou, having been there with CNN since the humble beginnings in the early 1980s as a newsman.

TV journalism’s second golden age with the advent of 24-hour cable news. The standard by which all others would be measured. Now you’re an inch-worm.

Credibility? Who needs it. Thing of the past. Like your TV career.

You stayed too long. Unlike Walter Cronkite, who was always dignified and who left with his dignity in tact.

You’re not even left with tact.

OK, so that’s a plus if you want to work at Fox.

It could be worse, if you were a chick, you’d also have to show a lotta leg.

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24 Responses to Lou Jobs

  1. Bucky says:

    I vote for this one:

    “7. Dick Cheney’s hunting companion.”

  2. MJP says:

    11. I vote for him to be Brun’s psychoanalyst and, more importantly, copy editor.

  3. Bucky says:

    Yeah, MJP, like we need more psycho-analysts shooting up our army bases.

    Right, I vote Lou Dobbs for Psycho-Analyst.

  4. paul C in PA says:

    C’Mon MJP…let us know how Lou’s ratings will go up on Fox…or how Rush’s or Beck’s numbers are great, or how the Alaskan Nightmare’s book is selling. It’s really the same as reality TV, just watching (or listening to) a train wreck.

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