Conservative Christmas carols

So what could possibly be better than that copy of “Death Panels” Palin’s book “Going Rogue” in your Christmas stocking?

A CD of Christmas songs by God’s army —- the Conservative Party, formerly known as the Republican Party.

The Republican Party is also known as the GOP: Grand Ole Party. But even that’s being changed to GP — for Got Palin?

By the way, Palin met over the weekend with the Rev. Billy Graham, who knows God personally.

Wouldn’t you like to have been a fly on the wall at that meeting:

Graham: It’s a great privilege to meet you, Gov. Palin.

Palin: I’m sure it is. Hokey-smokes, you really do look like God.

Graham: Well, we’re all made in his image, you know.

Palin: Jeepers, that must mean God goes to Lens Crafters just like me.

Graham: Well, we like to think that God sees everything without the benefit of rose-colored glasses.

Palin: Ya, well he sure saw clear for what he wants me to do.

Graham: Run for president?

Palin: As a Third Party candidate from my own party I’m going to form called the Rogue Conservatives. Whattaya think?

Graham: I think I really need to pray…..

But back to the Christmas CD, tentatively titled: “Merry Christmas from the G-O-P —– it’s as close to
G-O-D as you can get, except for the misspelling.”

There are heavyweights on this holiday songfest, but enough about Jabba the Butt for the moment.

“Death Panels” Palin is the featured star on the album, because when you’ve got a thoroughbred you keep riding that sucker until it’s ready for the glue factory. Or, ‘cos they don’t sniff glue in Wasilla, until the crystal meth runs out.

Palin leads off the album with “Joy to the World (My book is selling like lard at a fat person’s party and I’m the biggest celebrity of the moment!)”

Palin also opens side two of the album with “Grandma got her plug pulled by Obama’s heath care.”

Those also contributing to the album are:

1. Dick Cheney singing “It Came Upon a Midnight Snear (That we believed there were weapons of mass destruction and made the right decision to attack and with that same intelligence information we’d do it again)”

2. George W. Bush belts out “Frosty the Snowman —– is the name I gave the guy who used to get me my coke in my booze and blow days.”

3. South Carolina Gov. Mark “Down Argentina Way” Sanford crooning “O Little Town of Bethlehem —- located on the Old Appalacian Trail.”

4. Minnesota Congresswoman Michele “They’re coming to take me away” Bachmann screeching “I saw Steny Hoyer kissing Barney Frank.”

5. Jabba the Butt Limbaugh belching out “I’m Dreaming of a whites-only Christmas.”

6. Fox Noose Minister of Propaganda Glenn “Goebbels” Beck weeping through “Silent Night —- illegal aliens are going to break into your house and steal your microwave ovens while you’re out singing Christmas carols tonight.”

7. Fox Noose’s Sean Insanity lets loose with his Irish tenor on “It’s the most wonderful time of the year —– to scare the bejesus out of old people.”

8. Fox Noose’s Baba O’Reilly reciting staccato-wise on “Santa Claus is coming to town —– with a liberal agenda that includes mandatory abortions for women who marry conservatives.”

9. Rudy 9-11 sings “Don me now my gay apparel —– ‘cos I still like to dress up like my old aunt Sophie.”

10. The finale is a chorus of potential GOP contenders for the White House in 2012 singing “It’s beginning to look a lot like —- Obama’s gonna be a one-term president.”

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One Response to Conservative Christmas carols

  1. Mike M says:

    Pretty pathetic. Once again, the liberal media is at it again. Palin is very popular, and the socialists, errr…liberals, can’t stand it. Don’t look now, but Palin’s popularity percentage is right there with the media’s chosen one, Barack “Don’t call me Jimmy Carter” Obama. Change? Oh yes, change is coming. Higher taxes, higher unemployment, and a higher defecit. Is that what Mr.Obama meant?

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