Complaining about not complaining

Emanuel Cleaver, a Democratic Congressman from Missouri, proposed that Wednesday could have been “Stop Complaining Day.” You know, a day when everyone wouldn’t whine about something.

In essence, the Complaint Department would have been closed.

Once again the Republicants, well, complained.

Biggest gripe: They said Cleaver was just using the idea so no one could complain about President Obama.

Conservatives not complaining? That’s Jabba the Butt’s act. A day without whining about what Obama is or isn’t doing for Jabba is like a day without a spastic colon moment —- which is the bulk of Limbaugh’s act to begin with.

Children, children. Stop stomping your feet and holding your breath until you turn blue. There was never going to be a “Stop Complaining” for a day.

Leave it to Cleaver: He made the point that about a year or so ago a Republican lawmaker also proposed a no complaining day, but was shot down.

Hey, bipartisanship at last: Lawmakers can agree on never wanting to stop complaining.

Cleaver also brought up the fact that when Ronald Reagan was president, the Gipper came up with “Ice Cream Day” and that was A-OK with lawmakers on both sides of the aisle.

Reagan made an announcement about his bright idea, but it was never released. Imagine it going something like this:

“Well, it’s finally here. Ice Cream Day in America. Enjoy the tasty treat. I ask only that you stick to one flavor. Try not to mix the vanilla with the chocolate.”

Other politicians tried to get a special day to celebrate a few of their favorite things to share with the electorate. But try as they did, they too failed. For example…..

1. President Chester A. Arthur hated his name so much he proposed a day when everyone would call him “Sparky.”

2. President Dwight Eisenhower was such a golf fanatic and felt so at ease around the sport, he proposed a day for all duffers to hit the links without wearing pants.

3. George W. Bush wanted a day set aside to honor “The Beverly Hillbillies.”

4. Sarah Palin asked for a day when no one in the news media would talk about her or cover every little thing she says and does. Who’s kidding who, she’d never do that.

5. Dick Cheney came up with the bright idea to take a day and “bring a friend who doesn’t know you know he double-crossed you out hunting.”

6. Make no mistake about it, Dick Nixon demanded that one day be made available for people who liked to get nekkid in front of their relatives when they were leaving church.

7. Bill Clinton tried to arm-twist Congress into creating a day to celebrate full-figure gals who like Red Bull and jerky.

8. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi asked for a day when everyone would wear a frozen smile and have that deer-caught-in-the-headlights look on their faces.

9. Believe it or not: South Carolina Gov. Mark “Down Argentina Way” Sanford pleaded with lawmakers to OK one day to let him take Glenn Beck on the Old Appalachian trail and leave him there for those guys from “Deliverance.”

10. President Obama proposed a day when the Secret Service wouldn’t allow any couple to dinner at the White House just because the guy looked rich and had a foxy-lookin’ trophy wife.

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