Media obsession

If you’re an entertainment or sports celebrity, the more private you are the more TV news speculates you have to hide.

This week all media, including sports, scrutiny is on the world’s best golfer (and role model for kids) Tiger Woods.

Woods was in a single-car accident Friday that can’t possibly be just that. There’s got to be more to it. Jeez, the guy stormed out of his house at 2:30 a.m. and hit a tree and a fire hydrant.

OK, so alcohol wasn’t involved.

Must have been a fight with the wife at that hour in the morning.

So there must be a mistress involved.

Enter the Nosferatu of the law profession, Gloria All-dred. Hard to imagine any lawyer possibly giving the law profession an even more negative image than it already has, but that’s Gloria for you. She makes Nancy Grace look like Perry Mason.

All-dred has already sunk her teeth into neck of Woods’ alleged mistress in an attempt to to draw bloodand by representing her (so she can get air time and part of a book deal.)

This vampire fad is going a bit far, no?

And the TV media is falling into line. Yes, that is par for the course.

Take for example MSNBC’s Dr. Nancy, who on Monday morning led off her show with the Tiger tale. And she wasn’t talking about the lacerations he received in the accident.

It took a while before the doctor got to any news of a medical nature. Which should be all she should report.

Here’s the facts given to the media and the public:

a. Tiger was alone in the car at the time of the accident and no one else was hurt (except for the feelings of liberal tree-huggers who probably want him to do community service for hurting cedar.

b. Tiger apologized and accepted total responsibility and said that he is human, he makes mistakes and was sorry for the embarrasment to his family.

Something to hide, Tiger?

Afraid that isn’t good enough for cable TV news.

Apparently, Woods apologizing in public is alreight, but until he apologizes to the news media personally, there’s going to be some investigatin’ going on ’round here.

He’s got to go on Larry King’s show and is quizzed with idiotic questions from the Human Reptile and his inquisitive but often brain-dead phone callers.

“Sheboygan, Wisconsin, you’re on the air. What’s your question for Tiger Woods?”

“Yes, Larry, first of all, I love your show and watch it all the time, except when “Survivor” is on. I never miss that show because they’re forced to eat bark and yak dooty…”

“What’s your question, ma’am?”

“Yes, Mr. Tiger, did you ever think of going on “Dancing with the Stars” to soften your image?”

“Good question, caller. Whattaya think, Tiger? That would certainly do wonders for you. It would get the ladies back on your side and maybe they’d forgive you for having an alleged extra-marital affair.”

Or perhaps Tiger should be interviewed by Barbara Walters.

“Tiger, it’s OK to cwry. Just make sure you look into camer-wa one.”

Next it would be the entertainment talk show circuit. First up, Jay Leno, just so Jay could try to boost his ratings with that all important first question: “What were you thinking? Your wife’s hot! How could you even think about having an alleged extra-marital affair? And, hee-hee, is it true you told your wife, hey honey it was all innocent fun. It was just fore-play!”"

For years now the media has been trying to discredit heroes —– especially male sports figures. Granted, some of them play into it and are purely guilty for their misdeeds — O.J.

A lot of times the cowardly media waits until the sports hero is dead to bring out their dark side, which is always somewhat embellished for ratings sake.

And the media isn’t satisfied when the sports hero finds redemption and tells kids he’s not a role model and not to be like him. That’s how Mickey Mantle went out. He bared his soul to his public. But to the media he’ll always be the Golden Boy who became an awful parody of himself.

When you watch news shows about famous figures, be it politics, show business or sports, there always has to be something negative incorporated into the report that the media thinks we didn’t know —- or should know more about.

It doesn’t matter if that something isn’t factual. It’s part of a TV news show, so there could be an element of truth to it.

Tiger Woods can’t be a Boy Scout. And when he acts like he’s above suspicion by not talking to the law, that’s when it’s time to let loose the hounds.

Until this whole thing blows over, wherever Tiger goes he should bring a nine-iron with him.

It would certainly be an interesting way to tee-off on the media.