Good grief

Just when you thought there couldn’t be anymore outrageous statements by Republicants blaming President Obama for everything, along comes this idiotic rant from a mayor of a town on the outskirts of Memphis:

President Obama is a Muslim because last week when he gave his more troops to Afghanistan speech to the nation, it pre-empted “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” which was supposed to air in that time slot.

The mayor was upset that his kids couldn’t watch the “Peanuts” holiday special (which will air a few more times before Christmas) and that proves Obama is a Muslim who therefore doesn’t believe in Jesus.

Let’s see, more troops to Afghanistan or Charlie Brown’s Christmas? What matters more to Americans? No contest in Mayor Lump’s simple mind.

Here’s an idea for a new “Peanuts” cartoon: “It’s the Great Bumpkin, Charlie Brown.”

You know, Mr. Mayor, Obama probably believes Santa Claus is this fat white guy who thinks he only has to give black kids basketballs for Christmas.

Way to go, lump. Tell your children the president, who is secretly a Muslim, is responsible for taking their freedoms away by not being able to watch Charlie Brown’s Christmas.

Good grief.

Years from now that hate will have festered in the tiny brains your children inherited from you, douchebag dad.

Alert: It was the TV network that made that decision not to air the animated special. Not the Muslims or Obama. Oh, wait, TV is all liberals anyway. It’s all making sense now.

Ya, if you’re a goober.

Hell, you live in the South, so hate is likely part of the school curriculum anyway. It probably replaced study hall.

Imagine the president sitting there in the War Room with his advisors and deciding not only what to say about Afghanistan but when he should give the most important speech of his first year as commander-in-chief.

The conversation probably went like this, if you’re thinking like Mayor Lump. Whose last name is —- drum roll, please —- Wiseman:

Obama: OK, guys, I’ve decided to send more troops to Afghanistan.

Advisor I: Very good, sir. Now when will you give the speech to the nation?

Obama: I’ve given that almost as much thought as the decision whether to send more troops.

Advisor II: And what did you decide, sir?

Obama: I’ve been looking at my advance copy of TV Guide, which, as you all know, next to the Koran, is my Bible. And I look forward to the new dramedy “Allah be praised” being picked up next season on NBC. But I digress.

Advisor III: Yes, sir.

Obama: There’s a bunch of, yuk, Christmas shows coming up —- why do they start so soon after Thanksgiving? Look, I say I give the speech on the night that infidel Charlie Brown has his archaic Christmas special.

Advisor II: It airs every year anyway, Mr. President.

Obama: I won’t let my girls watch it. Anyway, it’s on at the same time of night when they face toward Mecca and pray to the Prophet Muhammad.

Advisor III: And I can’t stand that “wah-wah, wah-wah, wah-wah-wah-wah” talk in that “Charlie Brown Christmas.”

Obama: Besides, it’s not like I’m speaking at a time when a network is airing “Christmas with the Osmonds.”

Advisor II: I think you’re OK bumping Linus reading the Nativity.

Obama: Ya. I’m safe —- everybody believes Cheney is the reincarnation of Scrooge.

Advisor I: Go for it, sir. This one will go right over the Republicans’ heads. Even they have got to have more important things to be concerned with. You’d have to be a real nut job to nit-pick at this one.

Obama: Ya. It’s not like I’ll be dealing with or answering to one of the three wise men.

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