Monday mornin' quarterbacking

The demise of the Pittsburgh Steelers' season after week 13 in the NFL is being greatly exaggerated.

The Super Bowl champs are 6 and 6 with four games to go. If they win out and end the regular season at 10-6, there's a chance they can get into the post season as a wild card team. True, they'll need a lot of help with other teams in the hunt crashing and burning.

Granted, the Steeler Nation's chant of "Stairway to Seven" right now doesn't sound as much like its intention of a seventh Super Bowl victory as much as it does a "stairway to a seventh win."

Coach Mike Tomlin's vow to "unleash hell in December" certainly didn't fall on deaf ears with the offense on Sunday vs. the Raiders. It's the Steeler "D" that didn't get the e-mail. And that's a mortal sin for a team with a perennial vaunted defense.

Speaking of the Raiders, their quarterback Bruce Gradkowski is a native of Pittsburgh. Gradkowski is certainly a name one might associate with playing in Steeler Town.

1. Best Super Bowl scenario: Steelers vs. New Orleans Saints

2. Worst Super Bowl scenario: Houston Texas vs. Dallas Cowboys. OK, that won't ever happen, so honorable mention gors to the Denver Broncos vs. the Arizona Cardinals.

3. AFC Championship Game that would have fans of both teams on the edge of their seats: Steelers vs. Colts.

4. AFC Championship Game no fan should be subjected to: Bengals vs. Chargers.

5. Best NFC Championship match-up: Saints vs. Vikings.

6. Fageddabout this NFC Championship match-up: the New York Football Giants vs. the Green Bay Packers.

7. A God-forbid Super Bowl: The Manning Brothers on the main stage when the Colts play the Giants.

8. Super Bowl the sports media would most love to see: Tom Brady and the New England Patsys facing Brett Favre and the Minnesota Vikings. One of the many stories that would come out of the hype leading up to the game is which quarterback the sports media would gush over the most.



Roll Tide.

The Crimson Tide of Alabama crushed the defending college football champion Florida Gators on Saturday and will face the Texas Longhorns in Pasadena for the National Title.

Sweet home, Alabama. The loss made Florida's Tim Tebow, last year's Heisman Trophy winner, cry like a little girl at the end of the game.

There's no crying in football, lump.

OK, maybe only one time ----- when the Cleveland Browns select you in the NFL draft.

Tebow, who sports Biblical verses in eyeblack under his peepers, didn't praise God after the loss (the only time good Christian athletes do is when they win. Just once, wouldn't you like to hear one of them say something like, "I want to praise Jesus for letting my team lose the game. He must not have wanted me to score the winning touchdown, so I guess the Lord does work in mysterious ways.")

Some people follow sports religiously, but some players carry the religion aspect too far. If the country separates church and state, church and gridiron (football is the sport where we hear most of the athletes thanking the Almighty for their prowess.)

In Tebow's case, the Biblical verses were on display in close-ups (and the network had more than its fair shares of those ---- he is the sports media's Tom Brady of collegiate football.

Timmy, maybe it's God's will that the Browns do draft you and you make the team a winner.

How close are you to the Big Guy that he'd perform such a miracle?

Hopefully your faith won't be tested if the Detroit Lions snag you first.

This just in: Tebow is one of four finalists for this year's Heisman Trophy. If he doesn't win, the other three contenders ---- as well as many football fans ---- will be saying "Thank God."

As for the football broadcasts, ease up on those reports from the guys and gals who are not good enough to work in the booth and are relegated to the sidelines giving those updates on player injuries or sappy stories about individual players and people from their lives.

During one college game a week or so ago, a sideline reporter was talking about how one player's helmet cracked because of a hit ---- meanwhile a running back took off on a 69-yard play from scrimmage that the director almost missed live, catching only about the last 30 yards.

And those dumb questions after the game. Great Knute Rockne's ghost! After the Tide's drubbing of the Gators, a female sideline reporter, interviewing winning 'Bama QB Greg McElroy, asked: "Is this a dream come true for you?"

No. This was OK, but he won't see his dream fulfilled until he meets Bono.

The Crimson Tide will play the Texas Longhorns for the BCS National Title in Pasadena on Jan. 7. You remember the Texas Longhorns don't you? That's the team that beat USC for all the marbles a few years back, to the joy of every UCLA fan.

Maybe all the players should sport names of people or a few words like "Texas sucks" or "Bama Blows."

What if Tebow started a trend and famous people do start sporting eyeblack with words underneath either side of their peepers? We could be seeing.....

1. Tiger Woods: "18 Holes"

2. Sarah Palin: "Sarah 1:23" (And her flock wanted to hear her speak, touch her being, feel her aura and for her to sign her book, and she answered: 'How much is it worth to you?' ")

3. President Obama: "Hope Fades"

4. George W. Bush: "Retired RainMan"

5. Dick Cheney: "Shoot First"

6. Jabba the Butt Limbaugh: "Rush 23:62 " (And his followers, the Butt-Plugs, went into hysterics when he went into hysterics ----- and in the hours between his broadcasts were thoughtless, so they walked in circles, diddling themselves and listening to the voices in their heads until he returned the next day to tell them how to think.")

7. Glenn Beck: "Tea Bagger"

8. Bill Clinton: "Sorry Hillary"

9. John McCain: "My Bad (idea)"

10. The couple who crashed the White House State Dinner: "Lame Fame"